Yes, I'll Take Care of your Legos

"You are making a sacrifice, but it is not a sacrifice because you will get more than you give up, you will gain more than you give, and it will prove to be an investment with tremendous returns. It will prove to be a blessing instead of a sacrifice. No one who ever served in this work as a missionary, who gave his or her best efforts, need worry about making a sacrifice, because there will come blessings into the life of that individual for as long as he or she lives."  

- Gordon B. Hinckley

It's a strange feeling when you work so hard to achieve something, give your all for a future goal, strive tirelessly for a positive outcome...but when it actually happens, you're an emotional wreck. I'm happy, too. Really, I am. I'm jovial and ecstatic and thrilled and proud. This was what I wanted all along. But my heart strings are being pulled and when that happens to Mama Bear, tears flow, emotions are high, and focusing on real life is tough. However, it will get better. Millions of mothers have been through it. I will, too.

What am I talking about? My son just left for Santiago, Chile for two years. He's serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. Since he was born, we've hoped for this day. We've prayed that he would have the desire to serve a mission. We know what it will do for him. We know the growth that will take place. We know the man he will become. 

He grew up talking about going on a mission...

His 3 year old prayer: "Help me that I can go on a mission and help my dog go on a mission, too."

His 4 year old prayer: "Please help me that I can go on a mission and my dog, too."

His 7 year old plea: "I'm collecting legos like Uncle Stephen. I'm going to keep my legos until after my mission. Mom, when I'm on my mission, will you take care of my legos?"

His 8 year old prayer: "Please bless me that I can go on a mission to Mexico so I can buy a switch blade knife."

Through his youth he has prepared for this day: seminary, youth activities, service projects, testimony meetings, scripture study, Family Home Evening, missionary prep classes, temple attendance, prayer, jobs, work, saving........

I am a thrilled Mother for his obedience to Heavenly Father and his desire to tell the people of Santiago, Chile about Jesus Christ and His plan for us. I wouldn't want him anywhere else. I'm willing to only hear from him via letter/email once per week. I'm willing to only talk to him twice per year - 4 times over the next two years. I'm willing to pray for him and write to him and support him. But it hurts. He's been gone for almost 24 hours and I'm still crying. He's where I want him to be, but I'm a mess.

As Mothers, we rejoice and mourn for our children. Now is the time for me to rejoice...

"Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation." D&C 31:3

...but I can't help mourning, just a little.

I wrote him a letter to read on the airplane. It's too personal to post in its entirety, but I will share the following:

"I love you, son. I have shed more tears than I thought possible. But they are tears of joy for your goodness, for your righteous desires, for your obedience, for your wise choices, for your example to your siblings and to me. Be of good cheer and know we will pray for you every day. We are waving the flag for Elder Bushman. We will await hearing from you each week with excitement. We will support you as you go to serve the people of Chile. I give you, my oldest son, to the Lord for the next 2 years, willingly and gratefully. Thank you for making me a very happy Mama. My love to you, Adam. Go forward with faith and with God. Return honorably. Love, Mom"

Oh, and yes, I'll take care of your legos while you're on your mission.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Analogy: Crayons, Choices, and Children

"Mom, come quickly. Look what she did!" 

Black crayon scribbled all over the coffee table.

GASP (from me)

Eyes full of  sorrow looked up at mine. 

No, I wasn't mad. But, I wasn't going to let a teaching lesson go by.

Get out the Magic Eraser. Wait, I don't have a Magic Eraser.

Baby Wipes.

Well, it's not the first time I've dealt with a child scribbling crayon all over something, whether it be the wall or the couch or the table, or my Messiah score. At least crayon comes out, not like the "pretend boyfriend" one of my daughters drew in permanent Sharpie on the bedroom wall years ago. 

After seeing the mess she made and being so proud of myself for not raising my voice or getting upset, I quickly told her that it's unacceptable to make a mess of our home and she needed to clean it up. Remembering that the Magic Eraser was used up with some spring cleaning a few weeks ago, I resorted to the baby wipes. I gave her a handful and told her to go to town on scrubbing that table clean. She knew not to complain. She got busy. (Sometimes I think they like cleaning up the mess - to a point - especially if it involves scrubbing.)

No, I don't clean my house or make sure my children look perfect before I take their pictures. This is Bushman Family Reality!

Almost immediately, older brother jumped in to help.That's my scout - doing a good turn!

Many Hands make the Job Light

 
After 20 minutes or so she asked me to come and look at her progress. Pretty good, especially for a 4 year old. There were a few places she missed that I pointed out. She started to complain a bit, "It's too hard, Mommy." There it was...the words that sink into your heart when a child has done her best and is feeling the effects of fatigue and remorse. I took the wipe from her and started scrubbing for her. She placed her hand on mine and we scrubbed the last of it together. She felt happy, with a sense of accomplishment for fixing what she had done.

...take me by the hand...

As we finished up, I suddenly had a spiritual moment...

We all make mistakes in life, like scribbling on the table.  If we leave it alone and don't try to clean it up or make it right, it stays there for all to see, or maybe just for us to see, reminding us of the mistake. Those reminders make us feel guilt or sorrow or sadness. We look at the mess and think, "I don't know how to get rid of it. It's too hard." That's where the Savior comes in. He helps us get rid of the mess, standing by us, strengthening and encouraging as we follow his road map to repentance. (Brother Scout) As we follow it, and do ALL WE CAN, he takes our hand and helps us finish on the path (Mom). He forgives us and remembers our mistakes no more. Best of all, he takes away the guilt and the sorrow and the sadness. He cleanses us and comforts us, which enables us to feel joy. He makes it right.

It's interesting what happens when we follow the Lord's plan of parenting. The pattern is set in the scriptures, and it's up to us to study and learn and practice. We both learned a lesson that day. She learned the consequence of scribbling on the table - being accountable to clean it up, apologize, and do all she can to make it right. I also hope she realized and felt the support from those who love her.  I learned that parenting brings joyful lessons and spiritual moments, thus the Analogy of Crayons, Choices, and Children.
 
More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

If it's Meant to Be, it's Up to Me

JOY

J - Jesus

O - Others

Y - Yourself

Keep it in that perspective and let the joy overflow.

 

I tend to refer to my life as "joyful chaos". After thinking about all that has gone on over the past three days, I think that's pretty accurate. 

Saturday
Exercise
Trip to SLC in the snow to the Apple Store
Costco shopping spree on a Saturday. Now that's brave!
Deep Cleaned and organized the pantry
Down to BYU for the Boy Scout Pow-Wow
Three sons to the BYU Football Game
Daughter works concessions at the BYU Football Game
5 Loads of Laundry washed, dried, folded, put away
Deep clean of the family room
Cleaned the kitchen and living room
Made dinner and hosted friends Saturday night
Baths for all little kids
Programs printed for the fireside on Sunday night
Prepared lesson for Young Women

Sunday
Finished lesson for Young Women
Help daughter with Primary Talk
Church
Teach Lesson
Daughter's face swells from serious infection
Run to Walmart for emergency antibiotic
College son brings his brothers home
Make dinner for all of my children!
Choir Practice
Daughter off to two musical practices
Prepare for Fireside
Go to Fireside

Monday
Exercise
Kids off to school
Work
School
Setup new computer for Work
Trip to SLC to delivery computer
Spend hours getting a UPS printer to work
More Work
Help daughter and her boyfriend make dinner
Do all dishes
Family Home Evening
Kids to Bed

Today I feel grateful for my chaotic, but joyful life, and the people that made all of the above possible.

I find joy in making our health drink in the morning.
I find joy in helping my daughter and her significant other make dinner.
I find joy in doing my daughter's hair.
I find joy in helping my son with his Power Point presentation.
I find joy in trying to keep up with my daughter's schedule.
I find joy watching Sam climb in the back seat to play with the kids on the ride home. 
I find joy that my son did not claim the money "owed" after betting that Romney would lose.
I find joy in folding laundry with my cutie pie.
I find joy in teaching my son how to read.
I find joy in Family Home Evening even though it was CRAZY last night.
I find joy in helping my son prepare for his mission.
I find joy in serving in the church.
I find joy listening to the stories, jokes, thoughts, and experiences of the day. 
I find joy that my children go to sleep so nicely listening to the Mormon Channel Scripture Stories.
I find joy in assisting my husband with providing.
I find joy in making my children a lunch every day to take to school.
I find joy watching my children perform.
I find joy in knowing my family is there. They are my life! 

A few years ago I attended a church meeting where a lady from our Stake spoke about joy. She quoted her mother, "Joy: If it's meant to be, it's up to me."

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Everyone is busy. Everyone's life is relatively chaotic. However, we can find joy in it if we choose to. It's up to us!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Lessons from the Disneyland Disappointment

Dental, plumbing, and cars to pay.

Disneyland, we'll catch you another day!

Plans were in motion to visit the Happiest Place on Earth over the summer. Making it a designated stop for our California Dreamin' Trip, everyone was ecstatic, especially our youngest daughter. She spent hours combing through the scrapbook of our Disneyland trip from 2006. Obviously, she wasn't born yet and was slightly confused at seeing her older sister at a similar age and wondering why it wasn't her. She spoke of Disneyland several times per day and could not wait to see the "Princesses". 

Bushman Family Disneyland Trip - May, 2006

My 3 Oldest Girls with Princess Aurora - May, 2006

Unexpected Summer Disasters came, and kept coming. We were inundated with expenses that were beyond our control...car problems, plumbing issues, garage door repairs, delightful dental work...things that had to be taken care of. How would we pay for our Disneyland trip?

Oh, the painful decisions we have to make as parents! How could we disappoint our little 3 year old who talked about going to Disneyland every day? The trip was getting closer and closer, and the children were asking for trip details and itinerary. 

We had to break it to them: we just could not swing the Disneyland portion of the trip because of the expenses a fore mentioned. It was the perfect opportunity to discuss financial wisdom, debt avoidance, sacrifice, priorities, and disappointments. Our older children understood and accepted it. Our youngest three were sad, but the attitude of our other five was a fabulous example to them and they quickly got over it.

Our youngest daughter kept talking about Disneyland. Every time she did, I distracted her by saying, "We're going to the beach. We get to play in the water and build sand castles and look for sea shells." Over time, when California was mentioned, she said, "We're going to the beach!" Hooray - she got over the Disneyland Disappointment!

Life is full of disappointments...not making the team, low test scores, trouble with friends, inferior role in the school play, not placing in the spelling bee, cancelled plans, broken relationships, and more, and more, and more.  As parents, we try to spare our children as much as possible, but sometimes it's out of our hands. How do we help them handle these disappointments?

Pray for them, hug them, encourage them, VALIDATE their disappointment, distract, try to find a replacement, listen, cry with them, optimistically look to the future, or cheer them up with something special. Be patient with them, for it just may take some time to get over the disappointment.

Back to our summer, I was excited to find discounted tickets to a local theater company's production of Sleeping Beauty Kids. What a great deal to give my youngest daughter a "Taste of Disney".

She loved the show, except for the parts with Maleficent. After the production, we got our very own princess picture!

Four Pretty Princesses with Princess Aurora!

They also got a shot with Maleficent. However, Little Miss Muffet was too scared so she missed out!

Three Brave Princesses with Maleficent!

Our very own Princess Picture for $2 per ticket. Now that's a bargain, Disneyland. 

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Dealing with disappointments is part of life. How we treat the disappointment is key to building character in our children and for parents, too.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

The Great Hunger-Determiner

Bananas: Not really my favorite food.

But they're a great hunger determiner!

Last night reminded me of one parenting frustration - hungry kids at bedtime. I made a HUGE meal last night: homemade refried bean burritos with chicken and all the fix-ins, with corn, watermelon, pineapple, and chips, salsa and guacamole. There was PLENTY of food, and finishing up at 6:45 PM, you would think that one would be satisfied for the night.

9:15 PM rolls around and what do you know? Little Miss Muffet is STARVING. What??? How can you be hungry after that dinner? I try to tell her we had dinner already and it's bedtime. Some times that appeases. Not this time! She continues whining and fussing. I really was not in the mood. She already brushed her teeth, and once you bring out the food for one, they all want to eat. Serious bedtime buster!

Being sensitive to hunger, especially at bedtime, I pulled out my "have a banana" trick.

It goes like this:

Child: "Mom, I'm STARVING."
Mom: "Well, if you really need to eat, you can have a banana."
Child: "No, I don't want a banana."
Mom: "Well, you must not be very hungry then."
Child: "I want a sandwich."
Mom: "You can have a banana or go get in bed."
Child: "I don't want a banana."
Mom: "OK - go get in bed then."
Child: "No, I want a banana."

Bananas are a great filler food, quick to eat, no mess, no preparation. If she's really hungry, a banana will do. If she's not that hungry and she's avoiding bedtime, stalling, or "kind of hungry", the banana will not sound too appealing and bedtime will be the choice. This tactic has worked for years to determine, "Are you really hungry or just giving me fits at bedtime?"

The only catch is you have to have bananas in the house. No bananas? I use applesauce or a piece of bread as a replacement. If you let her make her own choice, basically a free for all, you'll have the "Hungry at Bedtime" battle every night!

Back to last night - she quickly ate the banana and got in bed. I should have had her brush her teeth again, but I was already in bed and my kids know that rule. More on that another day!

Bananas...the great hunger-determiner. Hey, Chiquita, what about that for a slogan??

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Watch your Words and "Stick" to your Guns

"Oh, the kind words we give, shall in memory live!"

Let us Oft Speak Kind Words - Hymn #232

My words are alive and well in the memory of this cutie!

That's the sass I'm talkin' about!

Yesterday, I was working with my three year old to empty the garbage cans in the house, one of her responsibilities. I was holding the trash bag for her while she fetched the various garbage cans around the house. I set the bag down and asked her to go get the cans from downstairs. She didn't like this plan. Using the logic learned from her mother, this is how the conversation went...

Cutie: "Mom, you have two choices. Hold the garbage bag and then I'll go and get the trash cans."

 

Mom: "That's only one choice." (Not like I need her to give me two choices)

 

Cutie: "No, two. You hold the bag, and I'll go and get the trash cans."

 

Mom: "No, that's only one choice. You need to go and get the trash cans and then I'll hold the bag."

 

Cutie: "Mom, if you don't choose, I will choose for you."

 

 

Wow - the things I say to my children really "Stick". Proof right here that the "words we give shall in memory live" - good or bad. Let's hope it's the former. 

By the way, I won. This is the rest of the conversation...

 

 

Mom: "OK, you have two choices. Go and get the garbage cans or you can take a nap."

 

Cutie: After thinking a moment, "This is so boring!" (Which older sibling did she learn that from?) She marched off to get the cans. Another successful obedience lesson!

 

Today's Stick-to-it Tips: Watch your words and "stick" to your guns!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

The Great Bamzini Does it Again!

Common Phrase: If there is a will, there is a way.

I like to think of it like this: Heavenly Father will show us the way,

when we are willing to do His will.

Drum Roll...........

Headline: The Great Bamzini Does it Again!

By: Julie Bushman

(American Fork, UT) Just a few days ago, a hard working, thirteen year old boy paid off the final five dollars of his $3,150 cost for an educational experience to Washington DC with his seventh grade class. It's not an easy thing for anyone to save money in this economy, let alone a young teenager. So, how did he do it? Determination, a strong will, discipline, desire, prayer, faith, patience, persistence, dedication, and tremendous support from family and friends.

In late August, 2011, the Great Bamzini had a desire to join his seventh grade class for a ten day trip to Virginia and Washington DC. The trip was scheduled to depart on June 7, 2012. The price tag: $3,150 including airfare, hotels, food, souvenirs, luggage fees - everything. Nine months for a young man to earn such a sum is no small task, especially when a boy of 13 cannot get a typical job. How on earth did he earn the money?

"I mowed lawns...a lot of lawns. My cousin, who also went on the trip, and I put together a fundraiser with a local sporting goods company. My dad taught me to board-op a radio show so I spent my Saturday evenings producing radio shows with my Dad. I babysat, cleaned, shoveled snow, and took care of neighbor's dogs. I saved all of my birthday money and Christmas money. Some of my family members and friends heard about my trip and donated some money", explained the Great Bamzini.

Where did the name, Great Bamzini, come from? His Dad explains, "It was an early childhood nickname that his Mom made up. He was a very handy and helpful boy...always fixing things and coming up with solutions to problems. One day his Mom said, 'Look at that...another feat accomplished by The Great Bamzini', spoken in a magician announcer's voice. It just stuck. Now, when we see his successes, we declare, 'The Great Bamzini does it again!'"

 "It was a long nine months", recalls his mother. "He had to make some hard choices along the way. He skipped out on outings with friends so he could earn money. He sacrificed some sleep to get up early on the weekends to take care of his mowing jobs before his radio work. He went without purchasing treats or games or movie tickets. At times he felt like the task was too great, that he wouldn't make the deadlines. But we encouraged him and told him, 'you won't go on the trip for sure if you give up now, so you might as well keep working on it'.  It's good for children to work for something they desire. I have a feeling the trip meant more to him than it would have if we had just paid for him to go."

The hard work paid off with an exciting visit to Historic Williamsburg and Jamestown, Fort McHenry, a personal tour of the US Capitol with Senator Mike Lee, a pre-sunrise devotional on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, Mount Vernon, and dozens of other historical sites. The purpose of the trip was to see the Hand of God in the founding of our nation, as well as evidences that America was built on Christian principles.

Upon return, The Great Bamzini was asked if it was all worth it. "YES...it was awesome. It was definitely worth it. I'd do it again!"

Today's Stick-to-it Tips: 

Stretch yourself. You'll go a lot farther!

Real Men wear Bibs!

Can we put a price tag on learning about liberty?

Encourage your children to follow their heart.

Sure, it may be going out on a limb but if you don't try, you won't succeed.

At times we might get stuck...

But there is always someone to help us out!

If you STOP, you won't GO.

Financial discipline is the first step on your march to financial success.

Standing on the shore doesn't get you anywhere...

...You have to jump in to enjoy the journey!

If we do His will...

...He will show us the way!

 Congratulations to The Great Bamzini! You did it....again!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

The Tendency Trap

ten·den·cy

noun, plural: ten·den·cies.  

an inclination, bent, or predisposition to something: a tendency to talk too much.
www.dictionary.com

As a mother, I find I have the tendency to do the same things or act a certain way. No, I don't have the tendency to talk too much. That tendency is saved for my husband. :) However, I do have the tendency to stick with the same old, same old, or to think something can't be done, or to feel that an experience or opportunity isn't right for somebody. Maybe I fall into the pessimist category or it could be that I have a lazy mindset in the midst of joyful chaos. 

Whatever the excuse for the tendency, it can be broken. I CAN step out of my preconceived notions and change the outcome!

Yesterday: My son came to me asking how to do a pony tail in a girl's hair. Well, my first tendency was to say, "Why do you need to know that?" However, I stepped away from my original thoughts on the matter and asked for the victim to come forward. It was little lady and he wanted to do her hair for her. She wanted piggy tails so I showed him how to do one side, and he did the other.

Concentrating on getting it just right!

I don't know what possessed him to want to learn how to put a pony tail in a girl's hair. Whatever the reason, he wanted to know and now he does. If I had followed my "tendency", this sweet moment would not have happened and a skill would not be learned. Isn't that what we're here to do as mothers... provide learning experiences for our children?

30 minutes later: This same son asked me if he could make scrambled eggs. I was in the middle of getting some work done and I knew he would need my help, as he had never attempted the task before. My tendency was to say, "No, it doesn't work out very well right now" but the mother/teacher in me squashed that idea and said, "Sure!" I gave him the first few instructions and told him to report back when those were completed.

First Step: Prepare the Eggs

He came back and I gave him the next set of instructions.

Final Step: Cooking the Eggs

We enjoyed a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, and I didn't have to make it!!!!! I just had to step away from the tendency to discourage and give a few pointers. He benefited from learning to cook something new, I benefited from not having to cook, and the entire family benefited from a delicious breakfast. Most importantly, because I supported his desire to learn, the likelihood of him wanting to learn by doing will continue well into the future.

Stupid, negative tendencies....Go away! However, tendencies to serve, hug, love, and support can stay. You have my permission!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Mother, May I?

Take 10 Baby Steps....

Mother, May I?

Yes, you may!

Oh, Mother, May I...the best childhood game of my memory. Or, maybe it was Dodge Ball by the front door foyer. Either way, I now know why my mother enjoyed playing this game with us. She would sit down, give orders, watch us play (or cry), and declare a winner. No physical energy was used, it provided relaxation, and the children felt they were being entertained. I can definitely relate!

This game has been a part of my children's lives for 20 years. We have resurrected it as of late, and the children beg to play. We did this for our Family Home Evening activity on Monday night. It was nice and cool outside and the sun was going down - the perfect conditions for Mom to sit on the porch rocker with Dad and for my daughter to play Mother.

If you've never played, here are the rules:

All participants line up horizontally on a designated line.

Ready to play! (Everyone is still happy)

 

 The "Mother" is at a designated finish line. 

"Mother" on the front porch steps - the finish line.

Mother calls a person's name and gives them a command. Before acting, the participant must ask, Mother, May I? before proceeding or they have to go back to the starting line. Mother chooses the next person to go in a designated order. Mother chooses what each person is to do. (This generally depends on the age of the child, how far back a child is, especially if they keep returning to the starting line, how close someone is to the finish line, etc.) The first person to reach "Mother" is the winner.

Commands are a random number followed by an action.

Examples:

Take 3 Giant Steps

Take 5 Frog Leaps

Take 2 Hurdle Jumps

Take 4 Scissor Steps 

Take 10 Baby Steps

Take 6 Crawls

Take 4 Bunny Hops

Take 6 Backward Steps

Take 12 Tiptoe Steps

Take 7 Marching Steps

Take 4 Skipping Steps

Remember, if the child does not say, Mother, May I?, he must go back to the starting line, even if he's  almost to the finish line.

Backwards Steps

Certain children are really good at remembering to say, Mother, May I?. However, other children regularly forget, which many times results in tears. We get ornery statements such as , "She cheated or That's not fair or He took too many steps or you were supposed to stop here." Children end up storming off if they have to go back too many times or cry because they didn't win. 

A sad moment

Happy with himself 'cause he remembered to say, "Mother, May I?"

Enjoying her frog leaping abilities. She is PRO at remembering to say, "Mother, May I?"

Fighting for the finish line...

So, why do we keep playing this game? Sometimes I shake my head and declare to myself, this is the last time we play this game! However, we play because the children beg to,even if they end up crying in the end. When I suggest the game, they jump up and down and eagerly get in line. It's a favorite, that's for sure, but the poor sportsmanship, name calling, or making fun of one another is frustrating. Nevertheless, we continue the tradition (passed on from my Mother) and endure and discourage the negative feelings that often times result. We don't give up on Mother, May I?.

Isn't that the same with parenting? No matter how much we try to discourage it, we consistently deal with frustrations, grumps, sadness, yelling, fighting, bickering, quarreling, name calling, and ridicule. Family life is a blessing and can be a most enjoyable and fulfilling experience. But yet, we are impatient with the ones we love the most or are intolerant with our family's bad habits and annoyances. Yet, we keep working at it. We stay the course. We don't give up.

Mother, May I? is a keeper. It's kind of a microcosm of Earth life. We are given commandments and direction from our parents and the Lord. We have our agency and based on the choices we make we either move forward and progress or fall back. But, we can always begin again, just like repentance. And when we reach the finish line, the joy is sweet, reuniting with those we love. 

Now how do get the children to respond with, "Mother, May I?" when I say: take out the trash, take your pile to your room, take your sister to the bathroom, take your plate to the sink or take your sister to the park? 

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Follow the Obvious and Swing Higher!

Five Little Monkeys were swinging in a tree...

Teasing Mr. Alligator, "Can't catch me, no, you can't catch me!"

Along comes Mr. Alligator, quiet as can be...

Snap that monkey right out of that tree!

This has to be one of the best ditties ever created! In a way, you could say it's kind of morbid but those stupid monkeys (whoops, I said the S-word) just didn't get the obvious, according to my sweetie-pie 3...

We were in the car yesterday (just the 2 of us), and she was crying because we dropped off her sister and brother and cousin. No, she wasn't crying for her brother or sister, but rather, her cousin. (I hope that makes you feel special, MRH) The tears continued for longer than I could stand, so I whipped out the best trick in the book...the Monkey and Alligator song. No child can resist it. They are captivated by the actions, and the creepiness of the alligator coming, and then the pause.......... before he SNAPS.

She immediately stopped crying and wanted me to do it again and again. 

At the end of the song, I said, "No more monkeys swinging in the tree." 

"Why?", she asked.

I answered: "'Cause the Alligator ate them all."

Without missing a beat, she concluded, "They should have swinged higher."

I laughed and laughed. I was stunned by how quickly she deduced the monkey's folly. Their demise could have been avoided if they just "swinged higher". I told her she was so wise and those monkeys were not very smart. She nodded her head and smiled and was so happy with herself. Our children seem to like it when we laugh at them when they're funny or cute.

I've been thinking about this experience. To a three year old, it was so OBVIOUS why the monkeys were being eaten by the alligator. OK, so I can see maybe one of the monkeys becoming an alligator lunch. But all four? Those last four monkeys should have learned from the first and got a clue to run (or swing) for higher ground (or trees). But, they didn't...and they were toast. 

How does this apply to parenting? Sometimes the obvious is right in front of us, but we don't see it. A simple solution to a problem, a more loving way to discipline, an answer to prayer, a direction to follow, a change that needs to be made is right there but we're distracted or unwilling because of "the same ol' way we've always done it." I feel like I get in the parenting rut and I stick with the same approach or method. Or, due to laziness or fatigue or mood swings or just plain grumpiness, I'm unwilling to move or change to create a better circumstance for all involved. However, if I was willing to "swing a little higher", to change my game plan (avoid getting eaten by the alligator), the result would be better for all involved...more love, kindness, patience, faith and less contention, arguing, frustration, and negativity.

I also thought about looking at the monkeys as our children. We all know the first child is the guinea pig. Poor thing! The parenting alligator's got that one for sure. Hopefully, by the next one and the next one, we'll learn and change and develop, so our parental mistakes will diminish and we'll become wise and gentle.

You could look at the Alligator as the adversary. He wants to get us. If we allow his buffetings to sway us, we get closer to his grasp. But as we swing higher and higher, by following the obvious, we move closer to the safety of the Lord.

I printed these monkeys years ago. I laminated them and put them on popsicle sticks. It's the best prop for a preschool, nursery, primary class, family home evening, or to make a car ride more enjoyable.

And the alligator must be sized proportionately so you get the full effect of how big and scary he is. All the kids want to be the alligator so they can snap the monkeys.

Examples:

My teenager is sad and lonely. Instead of telling her to do her chores or her homework, give her a hug, stroke her hair, and offer some kind words of encouragement. The obvious is right in front of me, but I don't always follow it. Bad monkey!

Our five year old boy is having temper tantrums all of a sudden. Instead of sending him to his room or getting mad right back, follow the obvious - pick him up, rock him back and forth, talk softly, hug him, determine the cause of the tantrum and not react to the outward emotions.

Spontaneity is not my strong point. When a child wants to do a small thing right then, instead of shutting it down, go with it. Give some attention and make them feel important.

Add some creativity, liven things up a bit, add some music, show enthusiasm, give some service, help a child with their chores, sweeten the deal, enjoy the moment.

Oh, the lessons we learn from our children! And thanks to my little girl, I hope to be a smarter monkey going forward!

I love being a Mama!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!