Yes, I'll Take Care of your Legos

"You are making a sacrifice, but it is not a sacrifice because you will get more than you give up, you will gain more than you give, and it will prove to be an investment with tremendous returns. It will prove to be a blessing instead of a sacrifice. No one who ever served in this work as a missionary, who gave his or her best efforts, need worry about making a sacrifice, because there will come blessings into the life of that individual for as long as he or she lives."  

- Gordon B. Hinckley

It's a strange feeling when you work so hard to achieve something, give your all for a future goal, strive tirelessly for a positive outcome...but when it actually happens, you're an emotional wreck. I'm happy, too. Really, I am. I'm jovial and ecstatic and thrilled and proud. This was what I wanted all along. But my heart strings are being pulled and when that happens to Mama Bear, tears flow, emotions are high, and focusing on real life is tough. However, it will get better. Millions of mothers have been through it. I will, too.

What am I talking about? My son just left for Santiago, Chile for two years. He's serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. Since he was born, we've hoped for this day. We've prayed that he would have the desire to serve a mission. We know what it will do for him. We know the growth that will take place. We know the man he will become. 

He grew up talking about going on a mission...

His 3 year old prayer: "Help me that I can go on a mission and help my dog go on a mission, too."

His 4 year old prayer: "Please help me that I can go on a mission and my dog, too."

His 7 year old plea: "I'm collecting legos like Uncle Stephen. I'm going to keep my legos until after my mission. Mom, when I'm on my mission, will you take care of my legos?"

His 8 year old prayer: "Please bless me that I can go on a mission to Mexico so I can buy a switch blade knife."

Through his youth he has prepared for this day: seminary, youth activities, service projects, testimony meetings, scripture study, Family Home Evening, missionary prep classes, temple attendance, prayer, jobs, work, saving........

I am a thrilled Mother for his obedience to Heavenly Father and his desire to tell the people of Santiago, Chile about Jesus Christ and His plan for us. I wouldn't want him anywhere else. I'm willing to only hear from him via letter/email once per week. I'm willing to only talk to him twice per year - 4 times over the next two years. I'm willing to pray for him and write to him and support him. But it hurts. He's been gone for almost 24 hours and I'm still crying. He's where I want him to be, but I'm a mess.

As Mothers, we rejoice and mourn for our children. Now is the time for me to rejoice...

"Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation." D&C 31:3

...but I can't help mourning, just a little.

I wrote him a letter to read on the airplane. It's too personal to post in its entirety, but I will share the following:

"I love you, son. I have shed more tears than I thought possible. But they are tears of joy for your goodness, for your righteous desires, for your obedience, for your wise choices, for your example to your siblings and to me. Be of good cheer and know we will pray for you every day. We are waving the flag for Elder Bushman. We will await hearing from you each week with excitement. We will support you as you go to serve the people of Chile. I give you, my oldest son, to the Lord for the next 2 years, willingly and gratefully. Thank you for making me a very happy Mama. My love to you, Adam. Go forward with faith and with God. Return honorably. Love, Mom"

Oh, and yes, I'll take care of your legos while you're on your mission.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Positive Attitude with Six Canines and a Flat Bed

 Romantic sleigh ride? No.

Memorable winter adventure? Yes.

 
I was recently chatting with my married daughter about church. She told me that her friend's sister is in her new ward (congregation) which makes her happy so she won't be bored in Relief Society (the women's meeting). I gave her some of my profound (?) advice:

"Whatever situation we're in will be what we make it to be. Housework can be extremely annoying or we can make it enjoyable with a change of attitude. Going to church can be arduous and boring or spiritually uplifting. Folding laundry can be tedious and monotonous or we can enjoy ourselves by playing music or talking with eachother. Employment can be grueling and status-quo, or a blessing because we have the money to support our family. Our attitude determines the outcome."

I used my own advice in February when Sam and I went away for the weekend to Ogden Canyon. This was our 2012 Christmas present...very enjoyable and long overdue. After all, it had already been 6 months since the Alaskan Cruise! 

As part of our trip, Sam surprised me with a winter sleigh ride in Liberty, Utah. I was imagining a romantic, cute little sleigh with warm blankets, hot cocoa, and a little old man driver. The driver part was correct, but the other details did not match up. Instead of a rustic, antique sleigh (like something you'd see in a historical romance movie), we were presented with a large, cumbersome flat bed trailer; something you'd use for a hay ride. 

As soon as we climbed aboard, six huge dogs jumped up, surrounding us with their panting, slobbering selves. They didn't just sit on the end of the flat bed. No, they got right up on the hay bales with us, warming us up (literally) with their dirty bodies. 

At first I was not happy. 

You're kidding me, right? The driver didn't bother to ask us if we wanted his furry friends to accompany us. I guess they're just part of the gig. I remember thinking, "OK, I can let this really bother me and ruin our sleigh ride, or just go with it and enjoy myself." I chose the latter.

We enjoyed the picturesque mountains covered in snow.

 We watched our little old man driver feed his elk. There he is...see him?

We went up and down snow covered trails. The sunshine kept us warm and the fresh air was glorious. 

Our new canine friends were not so bothersome as time went on. It was actually kind of ironic that we'd have a sleigh full of "extras"....kind of felt like home, although our children are a lot louder than the dogs, but definitely more fun! They even get right in between us, just like our little people at home. :) (Note snout in below photo)

We held hands and linked arms...

...and enjoyed being together -  Dogs and all.

Yes, I find myself regularly needing to take my own advice. In this case, I'm glad I did. What was supposed to be a romantic winter sleigh ride turned out to be the most random and funny winter adventure that we continue to laugh about. Sometimes those unique experiences are more memorable than they would have been under "normal" parameters. Liberty, Utah, little old man, six friendly canines, two European horses, and a flat bed hay trailer provided a day we'll always remember...All because we chose to make it that way.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

My Best Christmas Present

BEST

B-eautiful

E-ternal

S-weet

T-ender

14 years ago, I received my BEST Christmas present! A beautiful baby boy was born 4 Days before Christmas on a cold and icy day. He has warmed our hearts ever since. As each Christmas season passes, I think of this precious gift -  a treasure, straight from heaven.

Happy Birthday to a young man that brings us laughter, love, and endless joy. We are thrilled with your choices and your goodness. I love you!

 

You've gone from a package under the tree to being almost as tall as the tree. May you continue to grow in faithfulness and righteousness, serving and loving everyone around you. Happy Birthday!!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

The Interview

Nervous and apprehensive, I approached the interviewer with equaled hesitation.

She wants my advice and opinions about marriage, parenting, and family life.

However, I'm not a natural speaker. Thoughts come by writing them, not speaking them.

Sitting down, I braced myself. I looked at the "reporter" and smiled.

She smiled back and then we laughed. 

 There was nothing to worry about!

Wow! My first interview about marriage and parenting. How appropriate that the interviewer was
my daughter whom is taking a Family Science class at school. One of her assignments is interviewing her parents about marriage, child raising, and family life. She sent me copies of my responses so I can include them as my thoughts for today:

Question #1: What are some of the patterns you have tried to follow in building our family?

“I have followed the pattern set forth by the prophet - to hold family scripture study, family prayer, family home evening, to attend the temple, and attend church meetings. I have followed the pattern of Elder Faust, when he instructed us to insulate our family from the world, not isolate. I follow the pattern from Elder Oaks to choose the best things, then the better, then the good. I follow the teachings of Elder Bednar to be consistent, because a successful family is a big picture made up of small choices and decisions. Most importantly, I have tried to follow the Savior’s pattern to love and serve, forgive and be charitable.”

 

  

Question #2: Who do you trust, and why?

“I trust my husband. I trust my mother, and my siblings. I trust the prophet. I trust my children. I trust my bishop, and my friends. I trust the Savior, and Heavenly Father. I trust these people because they have a record of loyalty, honesty, and being there for me at crucial times in my life. I trust them because they are dependable, have integrity and do the things they say they will do. They live by a like set of values and high standards.”

  

Question #3: How do you know the prophet is true?

à   "I know the prophet is true because the Holy Ghost has witnessed to me that the words the prophet speaks are of God. When I hear the prophets speak, I feel comfort and peace and excitement that he is speaking to me. I know God will not let His prophet lead His people astray.”

Question #4: Why is it important to put family before work and other responsibilities?

-    “Family should be put above other responsibilities because families are eternal, and the family relationship will be carried with us after we die. We want to strengthen it, and give it the time that it needs. Putting family first shows loyalty to those we love, builds unity, provides vital opportunities to communicate, and memories that will last forever.”

Question #5: How can you love both God and your spouse “with all thy heart”?

-    "By making God a partner in your marriage you have the added blessings of forgiveness, loyalty, honesty, charity, and compassion. When both husband and wife love God with all their heart by obeying the commandments, reading the scriptures, praying together, going to the temple, and attending church meetings, loving God with all thy heart, comes naturally.”

  

Question #6:How has God helped you become a good parent? What are some of the revelations / spiritual insights you have received about parenting?

-    “God has helped me in parenting by blessing me with qualities that are needed to be successful - patience, long-suffering, forgiveness, avoiding selfishness, charity, and love. Through prayer, scripture study, temple attendance, and inspiration from the Holy Ghost, God has taught and directed me. I have received many spiritual insights from teaching a specific child to read, handling behavior problems, determining their love language, solving issues, encouraging responsibility, and increasing spirituality. All children are vastly different and no method or approach works the same for all children. I need God’s help to show me the right way.”

Question #7: Why is marriage good for people? How has it been good for you?

-      “Marriage is good for people because it provides stability, safety, loyalty, and an eternal relationship that can be counted on. Having a marriage partner is comforting because I always have someone to turn to, to talk and discuss with, to work towards a common goal with, and someone I can rely on to take care of our family. The marriage commitment is a blessing that affects not only the couple, but the children who feel confident and secure with two parents who love one another and work towards a common purpose.”

 

Question #8: What do you want your family to say about you at your funeral?

-     “I would want my family to say that I attempted to maintain the eternal perspective through all aspects of my life. I completely dedicated my time and talents to serving my family and those around me. I was valiant and dedicated to living the Gospel of Jesus Christ and encouraged my family to do so as well. I always tried to choose the best and show love and gratitude to my husband and children daily. I chose to prioritize my time so that God’s will became my will.”

 

Question #9: What one change, if you implemented consistently and well, would result in a positive significant difference in your family?

-    “The change that would make the biggest change in my family is if I did not have to help provide for our family's material welfare. Even though I am able to work from home, a significant portion of my day is taken up by my employment that could otherwise be given to more important matters of the family, home and its relationships.”  

Question #10: How did you establish and maintain your marriage?

     "My marriage was established by going to the Oakland, California temple on May 8, 1992 - sealed for time and all eternity. We established principles of kindness, respect, defined roles, unity, hard work and loyalty. We made our marriage first – before extended family, which is important to do when first married so that parents and siblings do not get in the way of your relationship. We maintain our marriage by keeping our covenants, communicating, serving, praying, going to the temple, working on oneself, accepting, encouraging, and forgiving." 

    More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!