But Mom will Catch Baby

Warning: Bogus Lullaby Below

 Rock-a-bye Baby, in the Tree Tops,

When the Wind Blows, the Cradle Will Rock.

When the Bough Breaks, the Cradle Will Fall.

And Down will Come Baby, Cradle and All.

Can I just say that this is the most bogus lullaby I've ever heard? Yes, just sing to your little baby that she will come tumbling down to her death when the tree bough breaks and the cradle falls. That will make her feel safe and secure! 

When our first daughter was born and the Rock-a-bye Baby song naturally came to mind, I remember rocking and singing her to sleep. I came to the last line of the song and thought, "This is just wrong!" So, I changed the lyrics for a positive outcome, not a morbid, life-threatening ending. 

Rock-a-bye Baby, in the Tree Tops,

When the Wind Blows, the Cradle Will Rock.

When the Bough Breaks, the Cradle Will Fall,

But Mom will Catch Baby, Cradle and All.

My three year old has been going through a Rock-a-bye phase lately. She wants to pretend to be a little baby and have me rock her and sing this song. So, I do and she smiles and feels loved. After singing "Rock-a-bye", I told my husband about my dislike for the ditty and my long-ago change of the lyrics. He came up with another ending:

Rock-a-bye Baby, in the Tree Tops,

When the Wind Blows, the Cradle Will Rock.

When the Bough Breaks, the Cradle Will Fall,

But Mom will Catch Baby, so she won't Fall.

Pretending to be a sleeping baby.

I want my children to feel safe and secure, peaceful and comforted. It starts with even little things, like nursery lullabies.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

A Family Day with Malts on Top

"Yes, I really, really want to play...

But Mom's declared it a "Family Day".

A friend of mine used to live in a neighborhood full of children. She became frustrated one day with the distractions caused by the doorbell ringing all day long when her children were supposed to be doing their chores or school work. She decided then and there to put up a sign each day that declared, "Family Day" or "Friend Day". If it was a Family Day, the neighbor kids passed by and didn't stop to chat or ring. If it was a Friend Day, they knew they could come by to play.

I've never gone as far as putting out a sign, but periodically I do declare a Family Day; and when Mom declares, she means business. Even if a friend comes by to play, the children say, "Sorry, it's a Family Day." If one of my children is invited to do something, again, "I really, really want to play, but Mom's declared it a Family Day". No, they don't recite my little poem, but I've trained them to understand the importance of a Family Day.

I don't pull out this card very often...in fact, it's really been a few months since the last declaration. I do it when I feel there is utter chaos in the house, when we're planning for something big, when I need "ALL HANDS ON DECK" to accomplish a major task, when packing and preparing for a vacation, for a huge family project, or something of the sort. 

Yes, you got it right. Today is a "Family Day" and boy, do I have plans. Everyone has their regular set of chores to accomplish, after which they're given a list of extra assignments to do. This is also a NO MEDIA day...no iPad, movies, or computer time. Although, music is a necessity! Fun, happy music always makes people work faster and better. Playing or "hanging out" with friends is not allowed on this day. Although, if it happens to fall on a day with a church activity, they can definitely attend. I really try to plan a Family Day when there are no prior commitments or activities so the children do not miss out on something they've been looking forward to. Announcing Family Day in advance is an important part to a successful day. They are notified in advance, they're prepared for it, and they can plan their schedules around it. The importance of explaining why it's a Family Day is vital as well. If they understand WHY, they're more likely to DO. 

I try to round out Family Day with something to look forward to at the end, depending on the purpose. Today, it may just be homemade, hot fudge malts since time is limited.

Hot fudge malts are our family's favorite. Here's the recipe for your next family treat:

Hot Fudge Malts

 

Fill your blender 2/3 full with GOOD ice cream – Kirkland vanilla is the best!

Add 3 T malt powder

Add ½ t. vanilla

Add 3/4 cup hot fudge (see recipe below)

Add enough whole milk to cover the ice cream mixture.

Blend well.  Add more milk if a thinner consistency is desired.  Pour into glasses and top with whipped cream.

Hot Fudge:

3 cubes butter

3 cups sugar

1 ½ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 12 oz. can evaporated milk

1 t. vanilla

Combine top 4 ingredients in sauce pan and cook on medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil.  Let boil for one minute while stirring.

Take off heat and add vanilla.  It thickens as it cools.  Store in freezer for up to 2 months or in refrigerator for 2 weeks. 

So, Mom (or Dad), if you're feeling frazzled, declare a Family Day. It will be a life saver!!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Follow the Obvious and Swing Higher!

Five Little Monkeys were swinging in a tree...

Teasing Mr. Alligator, "Can't catch me, no, you can't catch me!"

Along comes Mr. Alligator, quiet as can be...

Snap that monkey right out of that tree!

This has to be one of the best ditties ever created! In a way, you could say it's kind of morbid but those stupid monkeys (whoops, I said the S-word) just didn't get the obvious, according to my sweetie-pie 3...

We were in the car yesterday (just the 2 of us), and she was crying because we dropped off her sister and brother and cousin. No, she wasn't crying for her brother or sister, but rather, her cousin. (I hope that makes you feel special, MRH) The tears continued for longer than I could stand, so I whipped out the best trick in the book...the Monkey and Alligator song. No child can resist it. They are captivated by the actions, and the creepiness of the alligator coming, and then the pause.......... before he SNAPS.

She immediately stopped crying and wanted me to do it again and again. 

At the end of the song, I said, "No more monkeys swinging in the tree." 

"Why?", she asked.

I answered: "'Cause the Alligator ate them all."

Without missing a beat, she concluded, "They should have swinged higher."

I laughed and laughed. I was stunned by how quickly she deduced the monkey's folly. Their demise could have been avoided if they just "swinged higher". I told her she was so wise and those monkeys were not very smart. She nodded her head and smiled and was so happy with herself. Our children seem to like it when we laugh at them when they're funny or cute.

I've been thinking about this experience. To a three year old, it was so OBVIOUS why the monkeys were being eaten by the alligator. OK, so I can see maybe one of the monkeys becoming an alligator lunch. But all four? Those last four monkeys should have learned from the first and got a clue to run (or swing) for higher ground (or trees). But, they didn't...and they were toast. 

How does this apply to parenting? Sometimes the obvious is right in front of us, but we don't see it. A simple solution to a problem, a more loving way to discipline, an answer to prayer, a direction to follow, a change that needs to be made is right there but we're distracted or unwilling because of "the same ol' way we've always done it." I feel like I get in the parenting rut and I stick with the same approach or method. Or, due to laziness or fatigue or mood swings or just plain grumpiness, I'm unwilling to move or change to create a better circumstance for all involved. However, if I was willing to "swing a little higher", to change my game plan (avoid getting eaten by the alligator), the result would be better for all involved...more love, kindness, patience, faith and less contention, arguing, frustration, and negativity.

I also thought about looking at the monkeys as our children. We all know the first child is the guinea pig. Poor thing! The parenting alligator's got that one for sure. Hopefully, by the next one and the next one, we'll learn and change and develop, so our parental mistakes will diminish and we'll become wise and gentle.

You could look at the Alligator as the adversary. He wants to get us. If we allow his buffetings to sway us, we get closer to his grasp. But as we swing higher and higher, by following the obvious, we move closer to the safety of the Lord.

I printed these monkeys years ago. I laminated them and put them on popsicle sticks. It's the best prop for a preschool, nursery, primary class, family home evening, or to make a car ride more enjoyable.

And the alligator must be sized proportionately so you get the full effect of how big and scary he is. All the kids want to be the alligator so they can snap the monkeys.

Examples:

My teenager is sad and lonely. Instead of telling her to do her chores or her homework, give her a hug, stroke her hair, and offer some kind words of encouragement. The obvious is right in front of me, but I don't always follow it. Bad monkey!

Our five year old boy is having temper tantrums all of a sudden. Instead of sending him to his room or getting mad right back, follow the obvious - pick him up, rock him back and forth, talk softly, hug him, determine the cause of the tantrum and not react to the outward emotions.

Spontaneity is not my strong point. When a child wants to do a small thing right then, instead of shutting it down, go with it. Give some attention and make them feel important.

Add some creativity, liven things up a bit, add some music, show enthusiasm, give some service, help a child with their chores, sweeten the deal, enjoy the moment.

Oh, the lessons we learn from our children! And thanks to my little girl, I hope to be a smarter monkey going forward!

I love being a Mama!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Media Fast - Day 2

Observations for day 2 of the Media Fast:

1. The kids are really trying. Our stalwart Jazz Fan was dying to know the score of the game last night. He realized the only way to find out was to call a friend of his, but it was too late. He had to wait until this morning to hear the outcome. Also, last night, our four oldest children went to a youth activity. They were in other people's cars who turned on the radio. Two of my four kids told me that they politely asked for the music to be turned off. They had the opportunity to talk about the media fast. They promptly replaced the music with religious music.

2. My daughter sang a church song all morning as she was getting ready for school. Usually, I hear a "popular" tune. Love it!

3. Do you have any children that tend to clash? We have a pair...12 year old boy/17 year old girl. This morning I found them on the same couch together, half asleep/half awake. When they realized I was taking their picture, she quickly covered up. I don't know if this kind of togetherness has ever happened before...

4. When Buster Brown wakes up, he likes to veg in front of "All About Cars & Trucks" or "Veggie Tales". This morning, I found him doing this...

Wow, a book. What a concept! We don't need to watch Larry Boy to be entertained.

5. My nine year old son got all of his homework and chores finished by dinner time. Awesome!! He wanted to play a game with me...Life. That doesn't work very well with a 2,4 and 6 year old so I gave him a rain check.

6. When the kids found out that I ALWAYS turn off the radio when I'm driving in the car by myself, they were shocked. "It's one of my few moments of quiet", was my response. No music while driving in the car hasn't affected me. However, I have noticed more conversation in the car because of it.

Good Stuff!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Media Fast - Day 1

Since we're in the middle of a sugar fast, why not a media fast while we're at it? Actually, I will give the credit to my son's sixth grade teacher. The entire class is having a month long media fast from Feb. 1 - Mar. 1. 

"...there is a downside to the modern media because of the great volume of it pouring into our lives. We are in an era when the information superhighway will have the capacity to cut a wide path into our homes. As we consider the importance of nourishing our intellects with the promising potential of superhighway resources, we must be ever cautious about...the impact of media upon our lives. "

M. Russell Ballard

We decided, as a family, to support our son and his efforts by participating in the media fast, too. Here are the rules:

1. Music: Listen to classical or Sunday/church music only

2. Cell Phones: No texting or games. If someone sends you a text, call them back. Cell phones can be used to make calls but please don't make one when you're having a conversation with someone else. (Exception: you may communicate by text with a parent/child)

3. Television/Video/DVD: You may watch ONE sporting even each week. You may watch TWO movies for the month. These need to be done with at least one other family member.

4. Computers: You may do homework and research, but no games, social networking, instant messaging, etc. You may spend up to 15 minutes per day checking and sending email.

5. Video Games: None

We had a family council on Sunday night where we discussed the media fast. Each member of the family committed to it. Some were not too thrilled about it, but they did commit. I'm very proud of them for their willingness to do a hard thing. Instead of focusing on all of the things they're missing out on, we tried to bring out the positive about having more time to focus on things that matter most...family, sleep, extracurricular activities, homework, service, opportunity to make money, etc. Also, the class is going to have a celebration at the end of the month, so our family is, too.

Yesterday was Day 1. I didn't think I would notice very much after just one day, but I was surprised. Here are some of the positive things I witnessed...

1.  My little people played together all day. They played dress up, puzzles, games, tea party, and more dress up. The arguing was diminished.

2. My first grader had more desire to do her school work. She is a movie watcher...it was nice to see her more interested in playing and working.

3. When my five older children came home from school, they gather around me and we talked for at least an hour. It was fabulous! They talked with each other, laughed and had a great time. No fighting!

4. Two of our sons enjoy teasing their little sister. When she purchased a FurReal with her Christmas and birthday money, they spent time helping her figure it out.

5. My son hasn't practiced the piano for a few months (he no longer takes lessons). He sat down and practiced for a half an hour, rather than checking out www.nba.com.

6. Another son spent time dancing and playing to the piano music.

7. My little cub scout gathered the children around the table for a "tea party" while I was fixing dinner. They played happily, and I didn't have any whining or fussing to deal with.

 

8. My oldest daughter randomly gave her sister a hug.

9. This guy spent time learning the ins and outs of a graphing calculator.

10. I felt more peaceful and patient.

I'm enjoying this media fast. I know it's harder for my teenagers since they are the ones that listen to music, text and browse the internet, but if Day 1 is any indication of the rest of the month, I'm Sticking-to-it!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Sing, Dance and SHINE

The stage is a fabulous, fun, and EXCITING place for children to learn about dependability, responsibility, commitments, punctuality, cooperation, patience and work! Two of my children just finished a semester long drama course, culminating in a full length musical production of Fiddler on the Roof. Yes, it was intense. The rehearsals were long and frequent. The hours were tiring, and juggling school, family, rehearsals, friends, sleep, church, basketball, and work was tricky, but the benefits far outweigh the difficulties.  (No flash photography was allowed so this is the best I could do)

Tevye and Lazar Wolf (my son, on the right)

My daughter, during the wedding scene

Involvement in the musical truly forced my children to use their time wisely, picking and choosing what they could handle and what was too much; using every extra minute to finish some math problems or do the assigned reading for English class.

The memories and experiences will be with them FOREVER! They will remember this time in their lives with much satisfaction in accomplishing a great work.

"To Life, To Life..."

"Anatevka, Anatevka"

Farewell...

Old relationships grow, and new friendships are made. 

Patience and tolerance for others is developed.  Being on time is stressed and commitment is expected.

Talents they didn't know they had, blossom and expand. New skills are acquired and the chance to SHINE is encouraged and available.

Leadership opportunities abound and unique experiences are there for the taking. Working with many different people teaches cooperation and problem solving skills.

Yes, the great times with good friends are worth every minute...

Congratulations on a grand performance! Now, life can slow down a little bit, and you can catch up on some much needed sleep!!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Music Makes the Mood

Feeling ornery, antsy, high strung, anxious, irritable, irritated, grumpy, flustered, in a funk, annoyed or upset? Are your children whiny, high strung, irritable, grumpy, ornery, bored, frustrated or impatient? 

Solution to ornery parent and ornery child? Turn on some music!

There is something about music that soothes the soul, lifts your mood, gives hope, dissipates the grumps, calms chaos and cheers the heart. The type of music you put on can help you achieve the desired effect.

Example 1: It's bed time and the home seems out of control. Kids are running around, and Mom feels frustrated that children aren't settling down. Time to put in some calming and soothing music. We'll put on religious songs - children's primary songs and hymns. Or, put on some piano music like Jon Schmidt - love it! Try Michael Ball or the 5 Browns. The choices are endless! You can literally watch the children calm down when this soft, calming music is turned on. (My four year old is melting down right now. I need to take some of my own advice.)

Example 2: The kitchen is a mess and there is a sink full of dirty dishes that I just don't want to tackle. I try to enlist some help from the children but nobody is feeling it. Idea - turn on some peppy music to get the family moving. I love the Newsies soundtrack! That is one of the best CD's to motivate and energize. Try some of the fun acapella groups like Voice Male or Vocal Point. You'll see people dancing with the broom as they sweep, singing and foot stomping while loading the dishwasher as well as funny faces and dance moves while wiping the table and the counters. It sure makes it a lot more fun!

Example 3: The children are out of sorts. They're bored and have NOTHING to do. Turn on some music for a dance party. Clear the floor, put on some dress ups and dance to Seussical the Musical or Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Get involved with your kids and they really have a good time. There's nothing better, in their mind, than dancing with Mom. Another plus - it gets them really tired and then they're ready for a quiet, mellow activity.

Example 4: Use some mellow music (like in #1) to set the mood for church, homeschooling, or scripture study/devotional. When kids hear the music, they know what's coming up and it encourages getting in the right frame of mind.

Put on some tunes and enjoy whatever mood your family is in need of at the moment.

More to come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Creative Distractions

Parenting in many aspects is all about creativity. Lately, I've been providing creative distractions to stop fighting, name calling, whining and crying. (At the end of some days I feel like crying, too!)

There are some tried and true tricks that I use to distract my children from the negative behavior, thus creating a positive outcome.

1. Singing...it works every time (well, almost every time). My two and four year old have picked up name calling in the car. They are both in car seats on the same bench, and they go back and forth, teasing and teasing and teasing. Remember, they have six older siblings so they've picked it up quickly, unfortunately. I find that if I tell them to stop calling each other names or get upset at them, it keeps up and intensifies. So, I've put on my creative cap to distract them. Singing their favorite songs gets their mind off of it and provides entertainment. Songs with actions are even better; their minds are working overtime to "multitask" - singing and moving at once. Some mothers say they "DO NOT SING". Even if you feel your singing voice isn't worthy of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, sing to your children anyway. It will create good memories for everyone. Some of our current favorites include: Monkeys and the Alligator (I don't know what it's called), 5 Little Monkeys, Eency Weency Spider, Six Little Ducks, Wishy Wishy Washer Woman, Wheels on the Bus, Singing a Song is Fun to Do, Popcorn Popping, Do as I'm Doing, etc. 

2. Stories...Children love stories. When they're confined in a car or a restaurant, tell a story. They love stories about themselves, where they're the STAR. You may retell the events of the day or when they were born, or talk about their birthday or talents they have. Insert their name as the hero of any well known children's story. Many times when my children are crying or whining, they just need some extra attention. Often, I stop what I'm doing, sit on the couch with them and read a story. Immediately they're happy and once the story is over, they seem to be fine and go along their merry way.

3. Games...I love games. I love board games. I have fond memories of my Dad playing games with us when we were children. "I Spy" is one of the best. It immediately stops negative behavior. It's a mystery game...one of suspense. "I'm thinking of something" is another one. They don't have to see it like I Spy, just think about what it might be. Create a game at home when they don't want to do a task. Set the timer and see if they can beat it. If they have to clean up, pretend they're shooting baskets or you're a gardener, scooping up leaves. If they don't want to put their clothes away, pretend they're the mail man, delivering a package to their drawers. Add in the phrase "Special Delivery" and it gets them going. Encourage them to be an animal and gallop to brush their teeth or creep like a tiger to go get their pajamas on. For some reason, we think tasks and jobs and requests have to be DONE, not enjoyed. Children can have fun doing tasks they don't want to do - again, it just takes some creativity.

Invest in some quick games - five to ten minute entertainment with no setup or cleanup. I love Bananagrams - my sister introduced us to this one. Announce game time in ten minutes but they need to have this, this and this accomplished first. Watch how quickly their night time routine is done. Another fun game my sister gave us one year for Christmas is Scrabble Slam. My children LOVE this game - it's fast moving and is only a five minute game. Uno is an old faithful. Yahtzee is awesome! Encourage completion of whatever it is they struggle with and reward them with a fun game. (It doesn't have to be an hour long event!)

4. Activities...have your children do jumping jacks when they're restless and unresponsive, run up and down the stairs five times, create an "obstacle course" (my Dad used to do this)...Example: army crawl to the bedroom, pick up 20 things, bunny hop back, empty a trash can, skip down the stairs, do 5 somersaults, fold eight items of laundry, stand on your head for one minute, etc, etc. Notice how I inserted some jobs in there? Always looking for ways to get some work done!! We all have experienced restless children while waiting in line. Play Simon Says. It's a great game to distract for five minutes. Let them be Simon, too. I could go on and on...

5. Music...Turn on their favorite CD in the car or at home. Encourage them to dance and get out the wiggle bugs. Find a children's CD that has lots of action songs. Nap time may be just around the corner!

6. Food...yes, this is obvious; it makes everyone happy. Keep a little stash of whatever makes your children happy and use it when all else fails. One thing I would encourage is have them calm down before you give them treats or food. Use it as a reward for calm behavior, not to calm the behavior.

Last Thought: Lots of hugs never hurt. Also, prayer is the best way to get true inspiration as to how to handle the children we've been blessed with.

Find our what works for you and your children. Have your bag of tricks ready to use when times get tense. Try the positive, creative approach to distract from negative behavior. See the difference in their responses and breathe a sigh of relief!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Kindness Begins with Me

When my children were young, my husband, Sam, came up with a way to help with quarreling, fighting, arguing, bickering and any other synonym you want to use. Instead of sending them to their rooms or putting them in time out, he had them stand up, face each other and sing this song:

Kindness Begins with Me

I want to be kind to everyone; for that is right, you see.

So I say to myself, "Remember This: Kindness Begins with Me".

Here's a link to the actual music where you can hear the tune if you're not familiar with it.

http://lds.org/churchmusic/detailmusicPlayer/index.html?searchlanguage=1&searchcollection=2&searchseqstart=145&searchsubseqstart=b&searchseqend=145&searchsubseqend=b

I'm grateful for this little tradition. It started over ten years ago and can still be heard in our house, today. Yes, my kids think it's goofy. My teenagers just roll their eyes and suffer through it. My little ones love it and are more than anxious to sing it. My pre-teens about die. There's something about music that soothes the soul and softens the heart.

No doubt they will always remember this little song and let's hope they really internalize the meaning. Who knows, maybe their children will be singing it... when that day comes.

Treasure those feeling of love and kindness in your home. Oh, if we could just bottle them up and let them go when the grumps come around.

Here's one moment I'd bottle up for future release!

More to come...but until then, Stick-to-it!