Analogy: Crayons, Choices, and Children

"Mom, come quickly. Look what she did!" 

Black crayon scribbled all over the coffee table.

GASP (from me)

Eyes full of  sorrow looked up at mine. 

No, I wasn't mad. But, I wasn't going to let a teaching lesson go by.

Get out the Magic Eraser. Wait, I don't have a Magic Eraser.

Baby Wipes.

Well, it's not the first time I've dealt with a child scribbling crayon all over something, whether it be the wall or the couch or the table, or my Messiah score. At least crayon comes out, not like the "pretend boyfriend" one of my daughters drew in permanent Sharpie on the bedroom wall years ago. 

After seeing the mess she made and being so proud of myself for not raising my voice or getting upset, I quickly told her that it's unacceptable to make a mess of our home and she needed to clean it up. Remembering that the Magic Eraser was used up with some spring cleaning a few weeks ago, I resorted to the baby wipes. I gave her a handful and told her to go to town on scrubbing that table clean. She knew not to complain. She got busy. (Sometimes I think they like cleaning up the mess - to a point - especially if it involves scrubbing.)

No, I don't clean my house or make sure my children look perfect before I take their pictures. This is Bushman Family Reality!

Almost immediately, older brother jumped in to help.That's my scout - doing a good turn!

Many Hands make the Job Light

 
After 20 minutes or so she asked me to come and look at her progress. Pretty good, especially for a 4 year old. There were a few places she missed that I pointed out. She started to complain a bit, "It's too hard, Mommy." There it was...the words that sink into your heart when a child has done her best and is feeling the effects of fatigue and remorse. I took the wipe from her and started scrubbing for her. She placed her hand on mine and we scrubbed the last of it together. She felt happy, with a sense of accomplishment for fixing what she had done.

...take me by the hand...

As we finished up, I suddenly had a spiritual moment...

We all make mistakes in life, like scribbling on the table.  If we leave it alone and don't try to clean it up or make it right, it stays there for all to see, or maybe just for us to see, reminding us of the mistake. Those reminders make us feel guilt or sorrow or sadness. We look at the mess and think, "I don't know how to get rid of it. It's too hard." That's where the Savior comes in. He helps us get rid of the mess, standing by us, strengthening and encouraging as we follow his road map to repentance. (Brother Scout) As we follow it, and do ALL WE CAN, he takes our hand and helps us finish on the path (Mom). He forgives us and remembers our mistakes no more. Best of all, he takes away the guilt and the sorrow and the sadness. He cleanses us and comforts us, which enables us to feel joy. He makes it right.

It's interesting what happens when we follow the Lord's plan of parenting. The pattern is set in the scriptures, and it's up to us to study and learn and practice. We both learned a lesson that day. She learned the consequence of scribbling on the table - being accountable to clean it up, apologize, and do all she can to make it right. I also hope she realized and felt the support from those who love her.  I learned that parenting brings joyful lessons and spiritual moments, thus the Analogy of Crayons, Choices, and Children.
 
More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

A Story of Sweet "Justice"

Grab your pillow and blanket...it's story time!!!

I have a feeling this will be a family favorite!

Let me tell you a story:

Not long ago, a 19 year old girl and her father 

were driving down a residential road in a small suburban town. 

With the radio playing their favorite tunes, they were on a quest to accomplish the errands they had been assigned. Their favorite pastime, listening to music, was interrupted by the flashing lights and dreaded siren of a police officer. 

Pulling over, the girl braced herself for the news; she was speeding and would receive a citation. 

Certainly not the least bit happy, she drove off with a green paper in hand - a speeding ticket. The father tried to cheer up his daughter with a berry smoothie from Costco and jovial conversation. 

The frustration slowly began to dissipate. 

Driving towards home, they noticed a police car on the side of the road. Looking closely, they realized it was the vehicle of the same police officer that pulled her over. The officer was changing a flat tire on his squad car. 

The girl started laughing. The father suggested they turn around and offer to help.

They got our of the car and approached the officer. Their offer of assistance was appreciated and noted by the man, but he was almost finished with the task at hand. The father and daughter returned to the car. Just moments later, the police officer appeared at the girl's window. 

Rolling it down, she was surprised to hear the officer say, "I like to reward good behavior. Can I have that citation back?"

The girl and her father were shocked. Yes, he could certainly have the ticket back! The police officer thanked them for their goodness and walked away, ripping up the dreaded green document. Completely speechless, they drove off laughing but grateful for their good fortune and sweet "justice". 

Moral of the Story: Always show kindness, no matter who it is. You never know when some sweet "justice" will come 'round.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

The Learning Experience

Just cover it up with a paper towel...nobody will notice!

My two boys were babysitting the other night and did a fabulous job! However, the next morning, I found this on the floor in the kitchen...

Suspicious paper towel with an odd-looking stain on it

I picked up the paper towel and found this:

Brown, messy piles always have me concerned

I immediately smelled the brown disaster; phew, smells like chocolate. I decided to wait for my sons to wake up to get their take on how this lovely, mystery mess ended up on the kitchen floor.

Once they staggered out of bed, I directed them to the paper towel. They immediately smiled and acted innocent. "Give me the drill", I quickly exclaimed. By the way, that's not a question.

Here's the drill...

Boys: "We were getting ice cream for everyone but we didn't have any hot fudge. We didn't want to make any so we decided to melt chocolate chips in the microwave. The chocolate chips started smoking..."

Me: "Stop, stop. How long did you set the microwave for?"

Boys: "One minute."

FIRST LEARNING EXPERIENCE

Me: "For next time, when you melt something like this in the microwave, you set it for a short time - 15 seconds or so, stir it, and then repeat until it's melted to desired consistency."

Boys: "OK - so it was smoking and we had to open all the doors. Then, the chocolate was so hot and messy and we didn't want to put it in the garbage, so we decided to pour it in a ziploc bag."

WOW! SECOND LEARNING EXPERIENCE

Older Boy: "The hot, burned chocolate melted the bag and it all fell on the floor."

They didn't need me to tell them that this was a bad idea. They learned, from experience.

Older Boy: "I told him to clean it up (Pointing to his younger brother) but he didn't."

Younger Boy: "No, I told you to clean it up. I was putting the ice cream away."

I laughed. It's easy to laugh when you're not in the heat of the moment. That's why I like addressing the problems when some time has passed and I'm not so fired up about it. 

I don't know how the paper towel made it on top to hide the catastrophe, but nevertheless, they were quickly given instructions to clean it up.

Once the mess was taken care of, we talked about their "Learning Experience". They realized what went wrong and next time, I think they'll both be smart enough to avoid the chaos altogether. How else do we learn, but by experience?

I'm glad they didn't clean it up before I got home. I probably wouldn't have heard about it and they would have missed out on some helpful tips and positive instruction.

So, thank you boys for giving me a good laugh, and for letting me be part of "The Learning Experience."

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Lose Teeth and Master Money

The note was written on the computer.

This same note was printed and put under her pillow.

The next morning, she excitedly found and read the note.

I forgot to close down the program on my computer.

Of course, she saw the same note on my computer screen.
"It's you!!!", she delightedly exclaimed.

Yes, I am my kids' tooth fairy! The above vignet really did happen several months ago. I can't believe I didn't close down Print Shop where I had written a cute little note to my daughter from the Tooth Fairy. 

I knew she was already a bit suspicious so I freely told her that I am indeed the Tooth Fairy and she was sworn to secrecy.

Sunday night she bravely pulled out another loose tooth, on her own.

She pulled me aside and whispered, "Can you come tonight?"

Truth be told, I'm not very good at playing Tooth Fairy. She usually doesn't appear for a few days, sometimes a week. I finally get to the point where I have to email myself a reminder. Is it old age or just so many people to manage that my memory can't hold it all? Hopefully, the latter! As far as the reward, the later I am, the more my kids receive to make up for the tardiness. The usual loot is a dollar per tooth plus a candy bar or some gum; this turns a traumatic experience into a delightful one. 

My niece just lost her tooth and her mother explained on Facebook about her "Tooth Fairy" moment, "The tooth fairy left coins for her to count and keep. When she masters counting them she promised to bring another surprise."

I LOVE this! Use every moment to teach. What a great idea to encourage her daughter to learn money counting skills. She's motivated to practice so the Tooth Fairy will bring another surprise. However, there's one flaw in this logic... the Tooth Fairy has to remember TWICE per tooth, not just once.Oh boy, more remembering.

The Tooth Fairy has not visited my sweet girl yet, so, I'm going to use my sister's idea and get the money counting mastered!

Help your child on her way towards mastering money with the Stick-to-it Money Management System. 

 

See how Tooth Fairy coins and dollars can be turned into big savings over time...that is, if the Tooth Fairy gets with it!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Dumb Stuff and Common Sense

The beauty and amazement of the kaleidoscope has wowed children for generations. After Sunday's episode, we'll think twice about this little, seemingly innocent, plastic kaleidoscope.

Kids just do dumb things. The sooner you learn that and accept the expected, you won't get nearly as frustrated and annoyed by those ridiculous events that take place on a regular basis.

The latest dumb thing began with my son bringing home a little plastic kaleidoscope from a birthday party on Saturday. 

The culprit...see the hole in the green one?

Sunday morning (yes, of course, Sunday) my daughter put her finger into the hole and managed to get it seriously stuck. No amount of soap or lotion or twisting would get it off. The plastic was moldable so it dug into her finger. She was really in pain. Dad came to the rescue which unveiled this:

The view from one side of the finger

Wow!  We've had our fair share of dumb stuff, that's for sure...

1. Jumping from the top of the bunk bed, hitting the ceiling light fixture, landing on another bed, with shattered glass all over. Not a scratch or a cut resulted from this super-hero stunt.

2. Attaching hand cuffs just above the knee and securing the other side of the cuff to the kitchen drawer. This was the day when there was only a key to open it, no release mechanism. Pulling that off was not fun!

3. Standing in a bucket of blocks and wetting the pants. I had to wash every single one of those plastic blocks! (No dishwasher in that house)

4. Riding the bike down the street, not looking forward; running into the neighbor's truck and smashing the face. Nothing broken!

5. Child takes a steak knife from the knife block. Another child tries to get it away. Children are running up the stairs. Child with knife stabs chasing child due to the swing of the knife while running. Stab resulted in small lesion; no stitches.

6. Sitting in front of a glass curio, the child tips back the little chair and smashes into the curio, cutting the back of the head...blood everywhere. Boy, those head wounds really bleed. Again, no stitches.

7. Toilet is left up, unflushed. Toddler toddles into the bathroom, grabs the "stuff" from the toilet and starts eating it. We'll not discuss any more about this one.

8. Child ties a parachute cord to the waist, ties the other end to the top of the bunk bed and jumps. Gets stuck in mid-air, screaming for help to "scissor it" (cut it). 

9. Leaving the top of the glue open, it spills and makes a glue puddle on the carpet, 3" x 3". Glue and carpet do not mix. Tip to clean up: Scrape it up with a spoon, over and over. Do not use water!!

10. Throwing rocks in the back yard results in the kitchen window breaking. "I didn't do it...my friend did." Uh, huh. 

11. The googly eye in the ear is classic.

12. Lettuce up the nose. It took us two weeks to discover what the source of that disgusting smell was. It wasn't bad breath!

13. Bead up the nose. Good thing for the nose sucker (bulb syringe). 

14. Oh, no. You didn't listen and stay by Mom; fell in a hole and cut the eyebrow.

15. Jumping off the side of the bathtub like Superman, hitting the cheek bone on the tub. STITCHES!

16. Microwaving clay and dropping it on the floor. Clay everywhere!

I'm sure if I dig into those deep recesses of the brain where I store such memories, I could come up with many more. The bright side of doing the dumb stuff? Hopefully, our children learn a lesson. Oh, let's hope common sense sinks in and the dumb stuff decreases!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Leave the "Baby" at Home (Sorry, Sweetie!)

The hike was steep; the day was hot. The big kids were full of energy; I was not. 

The "baby" was crying, tired of walking. I wanted to cry, tired of carrying.

I had to go on...couldn't stop now. The end was in sight but how, oh, how

Will I make it up this hill with a babe on my back?; 

I thought she would walk and left home the day-pack.

Big kids stayed home so why oh why, did I not leave her home for her to cry?

"It too sunny" (No, I didn't make a typo)

Purpose of this post: To remind myself that it's 

OK to leave people home if the situation is 

not conducive to the child.

It was supposed to be a nice little hike with my sisters and their children. Half way up baby petered out and had to be carried. I thought she would walk (she's nearly three - far from a baby) and thought to myself before we left home, "Oh, she'll love being outside by the water and with her cousins." No, no. She was miserable and I was miserable. I had options before we left; I just didn't think about it. Dad and two of my teens were home. Why didn't I leave her with them? "Oh, she'll cry when we leave", I thought. "She'll have so much fun", I declared. Well, no matter the reason, I've learned a lesson! 

Even if you don't make the best choice, make the best of the situation! We still had fun and that is what counts!

They're all excited to begin!

Climbing rocky hills...what could be more fun?

Sliding down rocky hills could be more fun!

Always has to pose

Our Destination: Battle Creek Falls

She's happy now: We made it to the top and there's food to eat!

More than happy to pose on the way DOWN.

Back to the Trail Head. We made it!

Experiences for children are fabulous. However, sometimes a fabulous experience for Mom is a nice thing, too! Trust me, I'll remember that mantra for next time!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Corn nuts and a six year old

It never ceases to amaze me how much children are capable of. However, we tend to underestimate what they can accomplish, thinking they're too young, or the job is too hard, or dangerous, or messy, or the timing just isn't right. Oh, the excuses we come up with to try and put off letting our kids help or learn something! Some of mine tend to be, "I can't teach you that right now, Mommy has to do this..., now's not a good time, we have other things we need to do, time to make dinner", etc, etc. As I write them on paper, they sound really pathetic. Do I really need to start dinner now or can I take five minutes to help my daughter learn to tie her shoes? 

Today I had an eye opener. Being December, we are immersed with Christmas preparations. One of our traditions is coming up with a small and inexpensive, yet meaningful gift, for neighbors, friends, and family. This year, part of our gift consists of two bags of corn nuts, tied together with curling ribbon, just like you would wrap ribbon around a wrapped package. Of course, you have to curl the ribbon on the top when you're finished. You get the picture...

Well, here's a picture if you don't get the picture.

As I was working on this today, my six year old daughter asked if she could tie ribbon, too. I thought in my mind, "She can't do that. It's going to be too difficult for her to maneuver the bags and get the ribbon tight enough, but not too tight!" She persisted in her asking and in her aggressive and "jump in with two feet" manner, she cut a ribbon and went to work. I continued with my part of the project and all of the sudden she said, "Look, Mom. Is this right?" I looked over and saw her finished project - not exactly perfect but totally acceptable. I was amazed! She had tied it, as well as curled the ends. Did I give her praise or did I give her praise? She had the biggest smile on her face - one of satisfaction, excitement, pride (the good kind) and pure joy. So, I told her to keep going. She tied almost 20 of these packages, entertaining herself for an hour or more, being productive and learning a skill. 

I love it!! So, why don't I encourage this more often? Am I lazy or just in the "let me do it" mode - it's faster, easier and the finished outcome is better. But is it? It may be easier short term, but long term we, and our children, are much better off if we encourage learning, doing, growing, and helping. (Not to mention that I was probably ten before I could tie and curl ribbon)

So, here is my cutie and her amazing tying abilities...

Thanks, sweetie, for making my life a little bit easier today and teaching me a lesson, too! By the way, I got an awesome deal on corn nuts - $0.25 per bag (normally $1.49) at Maceys. I love a good deal (but I don't really like corn nuts)!

More to come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Lessons from a Googly Eye

No matter how many times you tell your children not to do something (or to do something), sometimes they just have to do it (or not do it) and suffer the consequences to REALLY learn. I find, as a mother, that too many times I want to save my children from these consequences, but they end up missing the lesson they so need! 

My 6 year old daughter on Tuesday night: "Mom, something flew in my ear...really, I was lying in bed and I felt something go in my ear. I think it was maybe a googly eye or something." 

Great! How many times have I told her never to put anything in her nose or ear? I look in there with my otoscope (what would I do without that?), and sure enough, there's a googly eye stuck in the ear canal.

She insisted that she didn't know how it got there. (And I was born yesterday) I wouldn't let her get away with naivety nor get out of any consequences. After fifteen minutes of talking with her, she confessed to putting it in her ear. We told her that it would cost a lot of money to take her to the doctor to get it removed. 

Consequence: being scared all night with a googly eye stuck in her ear (we had to wait until morning), going to the doctor which no child likes (well, maybe to her it was exciting), suffering humiliation through the teasings of her older siblings (she didn't want to tell them - too late, I already did), and doing extra jobs around the house to help pay for the doctor's bill. Hopefully, this experience will teach her to NEVER do this again. Side note: the doctor asked us if we wanted the googly eye back for a souvenir. Are you kidding? Throw that thing away - we don't want to take any chances of it making it back in her ear.

My nine year old son: He came home last week with his report card. He was disappointed in himself because he received a B in reading. He's supposed to read twenty minutes each day and get his reading bookmark signed off by a parent. I got tired of playing reading nazi; reminding him every night, putting my foot down to DO YOUR READING NOW!!!, fighting him to do the reading routine each evening. I decided to let him govern himself and let it go. That's not my style! I believe in reminding my children about their responsibilities. They need guidance and direction and help. We all do. Sometimes, though, they need to suffer the consequence.

Consequence: Getting a B, instead of an A and feeling badly for not doing his best. The positive is he told me, "I'm going to do my reading every night so I get an A in reading next term." Yes!! I love that kind of motivation. Hopefully, it really "sticks"!

We've had our fair share of beads, BBs, lettuce and raisins up the nose. All of us can tell a story about our children making mistakes and doing dumb things. Be grateful for the lessons they learn...and then prepare for more stupid stuff down the road.

More to come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Clean...until the grumps are gone!

A few weeks ago, I was mad. It doesn't happen very often but that day somebody really set me off, more so than I've ever felt in a LONG time. I'm sure a lot of it was my fault - over sensitive and quick to be offended. Nevertheless, I was ticked. I looked for some way to take out my anger. I didn't want to yell at my children or punch out a picture frame (sorry, Kath) so I looked around the house and saw a messy kitchen. I went to work...

For some reason, the kitchen is the family dumping ground. I started chucking my children's stuff into the living room. My oldest two children were working on their homework. They quickly got the picture. They picked up their things and put them away. The news spread quickly that Mom was upset so everyone started doing their chores. I guess when Mom is mad and silent, it's more effective than being mad and yelling.

Back to cleaning: I swept the floor, moving the kitchen table, benches and bar stools out of the way.

No, this is not what my broom looks like. I just liked the photo.

I mopped the floor. I even sprayed the edges of the floor and scrubbed the built up dirt that never gets clean with just a mop. I sprayed and wiped the base boards, the walls and all of the kitchen appliances. I cleaned the cupboard doors and the outside of the garbage can. I scrubbed the table, all of the chairs, benches, and bar stools. I moved on to the living room and cleaned the pencil and crayon designs off the walls and then down the stair well to do the same thing. I put all my energy into cleaning and I didn't stop until my anger had dissipated, or in other words, until the grumps were gone. 

When I was finished, I was so hot and sweaty. Wow! I felt better though, and now, looking back, there are many advantages of cleaning when you're mad...

1. The places that don't get cleaned very often, are suddenly spotless.

2. Instead of wallowing in your self pity, something gets accomplished.

3. It's a good work out! Lose some calories while you let off some steam.

4. Take your frustrations out on the kitchen floor instead of your family.

5. You may get other people involved, too and then more gets done.

6. You end up counting your blessings and forget why you were mad in the first place.

7. You repent for getting upset and apologize to the family (especially for chucking their stuff). Even mothers make mistakes and it's good for children to hear you say, "SORRY!".

8. A nice hot shower awaits you...it may be the second shower of the day. Nice! Now you get to meditate, pray, think and RELAX!

9. Hopefully there's an apology and life can move on.

10. You walk into the kitchen to fix dinner and you're loving how clean everything is!!!

No, I'm not happy with myself for getting upset, but I really feel that how you handle your anger is the important part. One public speaker said he runs down to the water heater and hugs it to avoid yelling at his family. Also, we choose to get mad or upset so we also choose how we're going to deal with it. Ever upset with a difficult child? (hah, do I need to even ask?) Try sitting them down on the couch and just hugging them. Don't say anything. Just hug them and see what happens. Hug them for one minute, five minutes, ten minutes. Frustrations soften and love builds up. Now I like that kind of build-up!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Unfortunate Events with Pumpkin Cake

You've all heard the phrase...Like Mother, Like Daughter. Wow, this week really describes that adage.

My awesome daughter was asked to make a dessert for a youth event on Wednesday night. She was so responsible about it - she made sure we had the ingredients in advance and started on the task right after school. She called me in exasperation, "Mom, does 2 c. pumpkin mean 2 cans of pumpkin or 2 cups of pumpkin?" I thought to myself, "I hope she's asking me before she added the pumpkin". Wishful thinking.

She added two 29 ounce cans of pumpkin to make one pumpkin cake. She felt terrible. Oh well, a few eggs, some sugar and 2 cans of pumpkin down the drain. At least she didn't make the complete cake and bake it, thinking all is well. At least we had more pumpkin in the pantry. "Let's look at the bright side", I told her. She started over and had  delicious cake to serve for the event. 

Two 29 ounce cans of pumpkin in one pumpkin cake

Fast forward to yesterday...I had four pumpkin cakes to make for an event. The "Series of Unfortunate Events" started from the beginning:

1. I got out the sugar and there was two cups. Not enough to make four cakes! No problem - ran down to the pantry. No sugar. Great - overlooked that one in the food storage. I called my awesome neighbor - you know, the one you always call to borrow an egg - the one you can always count on to have what you need. Perfect, she sent down 6 cups of sugar and I sent her a bag of brown sugar. At least I had some kind of sugar in the food storage!

2. The first two cakes were in the oven...started on the second two. I looked down at the recipe and panicked. I put baking powder in the first two instead of baking soda. Result - two flat, dense pumpkin cakes. A great afternoon snack for kids - not a great cake to take to a bake sale. Fabulous - two more cakes on the horizon...

Two flat, dense pumpkin cakes.

3. Started on cake #5 and cake #6. Time to add the sugar. You guessed it...no more sugar. Yah, I needed to go the store anyway. I stocked up on sugar.

4. All cakes are cool. Frosting is made. I leave the kitchen for a minute and come back to my lovely two year old picking in one of the cakes. Great - I can't send a cake like that. No, I'm not making another darn cake. I was out of pumpkin anyway and out of time. Solution: I cut out the two pieces that got picked in, frosted the cakes, decorated them and took them to the bake sale - 3 full cakes and 1 full cake less two pieces.

By this time, I was so thankful to be finished with the project - I forgot to take pictures of the finished product. Oh well...if you've seen a pumpkin cake, you've seen them all. But, you can't say that about tasting pumpkin cake. This pumpkin cake is amazing...you truly haven't tasted pumpkin cake until you've had this one. (Recipe at the end)

Back to my glorious advice about "Let's look at the bright side":

At least I had a friend I could swap sugar with so I didn't have to go to the store at 8AM when two little people were still asleep. At least I had more pumpkin to make extra cakes with, and the first two cakes were not wasted. They are still good and eight children will be very happy to eat it for the next few days. At least there is a store two miles away, I have a car to drive there and I could stock up on sugar so this doesn't happen again. (At least with sugar) At least the "picked in cake" wasn't completely ruined. At least I was able to get the cakes to the event on time!! At least I have a husband who mourned with me about it. 

At least I can tell my daughter that Mom makes mistakes, too, and we can laugh together about our unfortunate events with pumpkin cake.

Pumpkin Cake Recipe (I have this memorized now!)
4 eggs
2 c. pumpkin (cups, not cans)
2 c. sugar
1 c. oil
1 t. vanilla
Mix wet ingredients together then add -
2 c. flour
2 t. cinnamon
1 t. salt
1 t. baking soda (NOT baking powder)

Bake at 350 for 40 minutes or until done in the middle.

Cream Cheese Frosting

1 pkg. cream cheese
1 cube butter
1 t. vanilla
Cream together then add -
4.5 cups powdered sugar

Frost cake when cool. Decorate with candy pumpkins and candy corn.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!