The Red Headed Hostess

Grateful for the Red Headed Hostess

My Learning Style: Visual, Hands on Interaction

One part of the day that I truly enjoy is my personal devotion and scripture study. 5:30 AM rolls around so quickly, but it's worth getting up to have some quiet moments of reflection and peace before the joyful chaos ensues. I am a visual and interactive learner. I don't do well with just one-sense learning. Just reading the scriptures quietly does not catch my attention. Just listening to the scriptures on my phone does not provide adequate depth. I need to read, write, highlight, and record my thoughts to have a truly meaningful experience, and to embrace the lesson that is meant for me.

For spiritual organization, my new friend is The Red Headed Hostess. I discovered her website a few weeks ago and instantly felt like this was the method that would work for me. She has developed scripture journals, a fabulous way to organize your scripture study. I picked up a chapter journal and a topic journal when she had a $3.00 off per journal sale. The chapter journal allows you to take notes and write down inspiration for particular scripture chapters. The topic journal is for recording scriptures, quotes, and thoughts about specific topics. Both journals can be referenced to the other due to her thoughtful and organized layout. Multiple designs are available to fit your style. I also purchased a topic journal for my son who is preparing for an LDS Mission. Just for your information, his journal is not pink and green like mine.

Because October is our Be Grateful month, I chose Gratitude as the first topic in my journal. Immense joy has been had as I've recorded all the scriptures, quotes, and personal experiences I've had this month in one place. Now I have a complete two page spread about gratitude that I can refer back to for future reference.

Now that I've finished my Gratitude scripture study, I've moved back to regular chapter reading. I love having an organized journal where I can record insights for specific verses, words I looked up, other scriptures I cross-referenced, or thoughts from study guides. It makes my scripture study more meaningful and I feel like I internalize the principles more fully.

I'm grateful today for The Red Headed Hostess. She has provided a product that fits my style and my needs.Try it out and let me know what you think!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

We do Loud REALLY Well

Should I be proud that our family is loud?

Or wish for words that are soft, like a cloud?

Either way, I most surely am wowed

That I've been blessed with our ten-of-a-crowd.

Sometimes I feel like our family is misunderstood. We have some unique characteristics that probably raise some eyebrows, especially how LOUD we are. I was talking to my mom last night about it, perplexed that some families are so quiet. That is definitely NOT the Bushman Bunch. I can almost bet we're the loudest family on the block and our neighbors will testify of that. No matter how many times I encourage my children to lower the volume, speak with an "inside voice" (actually, I don't think my children know the difference between an inside and outside voice), talk in a whisper, decrease the decibels - however you want to say it - THEY DON'T GET IT!! 

So, it's always comforting when I discover something that validates this concern. Friday, Sam and I went to a benefit dinner and silent auction for a friend who needs a kidney transplant. (www.kidney4colson.com)

I found the following plaque that describes us perfectly, and I couldn't resist getting it!

In Our Home

We do second chances

We say Prayers

We do I'm sorry's

We play hard

We do loud REALLY well (caps added by me)

We give hugs

We do love

We are Family

Looking at this photo as I write this blog post, the question of the day is, "Does this just encourage loudness?" Maybe. When my kids read this plaque on our living room table, does it give them license to sing at the top of their lungs or laugh and laugh with gusto? Probably. But after 20 years of battling, I don't think a little sign can make life in our household any louder. So, do I just accept it and give up or continue to encourage? Of course, the latter. 

We try to have a quiet time for our young children every day and for all the children on Sunday. Quiet time consists of being by yourself if you can't be quiet with someone else. Quiet activities include napping, writing, coloring, reading, playing a quiet game, or crafting. It's a time for Mom to have some sanity and for the children to practice self-entertainment and quiet activities that hopefully result in some needed inspiration and revelation in their lives. Thus, no video games, computer time, or movies. Soft, uplifting music in your room is totally acceptable.

To fight the "we do loud really well", maybe the Quiet Time period should be gradually extended until it lasts all day. Now, that's a thought!

Or maybe I should just accept that our family does loud really well. If anything, it's just strengthening our self-esteem!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

 


 

Media Fast - Day 2

Observations for day 2 of the Media Fast:

1. The kids are really trying. Our stalwart Jazz Fan was dying to know the score of the game last night. He realized the only way to find out was to call a friend of his, but it was too late. He had to wait until this morning to hear the outcome. Also, last night, our four oldest children went to a youth activity. They were in other people's cars who turned on the radio. Two of my four kids told me that they politely asked for the music to be turned off. They had the opportunity to talk about the media fast. They promptly replaced the music with religious music.

2. My daughter sang a church song all morning as she was getting ready for school. Usually, I hear a "popular" tune. Love it!

3. Do you have any children that tend to clash? We have a pair...12 year old boy/17 year old girl. This morning I found them on the same couch together, half asleep/half awake. When they realized I was taking their picture, she quickly covered up. I don't know if this kind of togetherness has ever happened before...

4. When Buster Brown wakes up, he likes to veg in front of "All About Cars & Trucks" or "Veggie Tales". This morning, I found him doing this...

Wow, a book. What a concept! We don't need to watch Larry Boy to be entertained.

5. My nine year old son got all of his homework and chores finished by dinner time. Awesome!! He wanted to play a game with me...Life. That doesn't work very well with a 2,4 and 6 year old so I gave him a rain check.

6. When the kids found out that I ALWAYS turn off the radio when I'm driving in the car by myself, they were shocked. "It's one of my few moments of quiet", was my response. No music while driving in the car hasn't affected me. However, I have noticed more conversation in the car because of it.

Good Stuff!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Train your child in the way she should go

Your toddler is acting up in church. She is crying or yelling every other minute. Time to take her out because she's disturbing the meeting. You leave the room and find yourself in the foyer or hallway. What do you do?

A. You're so tired of wrestling with a grumpy child so you put her down to get out the wiggles (which usually results in running up and down the hallway or wrapping herself up in the window drapes).

B. You continue to hold your child and calm her down until she is ready to go back into the meeting. 

One approach teaches the child to act up in church, in a meeting, a performance or other quiet setting so she can leave the event and play. The other approach teaches the child that if she acts up, she'll be taken out and held, until she is ready to go back in and behave.

Raising children could also be called training children. Our children come to us with a pure, open mind, ready to be taught and TRAINED. Your child CAN learn to sit through church. Your child CAN learn to be respectful. Your child CAN learn to say please and thank you when they're just learning to talk. It takes work, dedication and CONSISTENCY. 

Let's go back to the church service example above, before your child has the meltdown and needs to leave. She probably has some coloring to do or some little toys to play with. You may have a water bottle or some snacks to help entertain. (I always save the food for the last resort!) She has the opportunity to sit with Mom or move to Dad. She can choose to sit with an older brother or sister. She has options! Now, transport you and your child to the foyer where she's sitting on your lap on a chair or she's in your arms standing up. She doesn't have any options. What child would like to sit quietly on your lap with a book, a small doll or a few plastic animals to keep her busy rather than sitting quietly on your lap with NOTHING to do? I think it's obvious. The key is training children to realize that it's much more fun to be in church with options available to them than to be restricted. You're giving them two choices...which one will it be? Don't let them make the rules; you're the parent. You set the boundaries and the expectations.

This takes practice and consistency. Keep working on it. You may need to take your child out several times but don't give in. Stick-to-it and eventually, the amount of times you have to leave the church service will decrease until you don't have to leave anymore.

Another trick that works well is leave the toys, snacks and entertainment in your bag until a certain point. First, this trains your children to sit quietly and listen, for a specified time. The time increases as they get older until eventually, they can sit through church without any distractions. They also learn when the activities will come out which develops patience. Secondly, after sitting for a while, they are so grateful for something to do that the remainder of the meeting goes by faster and they are entertained during the usual "meltdown time". Like I've said before, encourage delayed appreciation and not instant gratification.

Teaching and encouraging proper behavior can be fun! There are so many TOOLS available to help you out! A friend of mine has developed some amazing quiet books and quiet toys, perfect for teaching AND entertaining during those settings that require quiet times. I LOVE the Let's Count 1-2-3 Play Bag. All of the quiet books zip closed so you don't need to worry about pieces falling out. They also replace lost pieces! Check it out...www.mygrowingseason.com

Who your child becomes is largely determined by us as parents, probably more than we think. Train your child in the way she should go...let's hope it's NOT a free for all in the church foyer.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Reflections

Sometimes my mother would tell us to "scatter" when we were all together and things were quite chaotic. She encouraged us to have some "alone time" but truly, I think she wanted some peace and quiet. But it was no fun being alone as a kid! I always wanted to be with one of my siblings - playing board games, dressing up or pretending that we were married to a famous movie star! Why would we want to be alone?

For reflection! As Gordon B. Hinckley said, "We all need, the whole world needs, the opportunity to meditate and reflect on the things of God..."

In our home, we have a "Quiet Time". We have one on weekdays with our little children who are home. They sit on their bed and color or read books or play quietly with toys. Sometimes they have a nap or we read stories to them. We also have a family quiet time on Sunday, after church.  They write in their journal or work on their goals. They write thank you notes or letters to family. The older kids are happy to catch up on some much needed sleep. It's a time for reflection, a time for meditation.Yes, and a time for Mom and Dad to have some "peace and quiet".

On a recent family vacation to the ocean, I caught some moments of reflection on camera:

Buried in the sand - nothing else to do but "think"

Having her "quiet time"

Some alone time at the Pier

Ready to take on life...

Deep in thought? OR looking out for bird poop?

At one... with the Rocks?

Swinging - A great place to reflect

Ahhhhh, quiet times. I'm enjoying one right now!!

More to come...but until then, Stick-to-it!