Write-Downable of the Week: Who's Medusa?

Write-Downable (n) 

"A statement that is cute, funny, priceless, sensitive, loving, one-of-a-kind, sweet, or spiritual; a word, phrase, sentence, or story that touches the heart of another and is deemed worthy to write down, thus recorded forever and not forgotten."

Word Created By: The Bushman Family

Definition By: Julie Bushman

Write-Downable of the Week:

Our family was watching a movie this week and Medusa was mentioned...you know, the tweako in Greek Mythology that had hair of snakes, and if one were to look upon her, he would be turned to stone?  

My daughter turns to me and says, "Who's Medusa?"

14 year old son says, "It's that guy that lived to be like 924, right?"

WRONG! Sorry, honey. That was Methuselah...and he was 969 years old. We all had a good laugh!

But hey, I'd rather them know about Methuselah than Medusa!

MOSES...Not Methuselah, but close enough? (2010)

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Hunger-Hint Leads to Spontaneity

spon·ta·ne·i·ty (noun)

1.the state, quality, or fact of being spontaneous.

2.spontaneous activity.

3.spontaneities, spontaneous impulses, movements, or actions.

(www.dictionary.com) 

Spontaneous Moments. You just have to throw one into the mix once in a while. The children love them, and they really do become a permanent memory.

Saturday night we were watching the usual....LHO(t)P. It was 10:45 PM and we had 15 more minutes of an episode. Teenaged son is hungry so he brings it up to Dad. Dad probably wouldn't have "been hungry" too if it wasn't for the hunger-hint.  Dad suggests a frozen pizza in the freezer. Son can't eat pizza due to gluten intolerance. Son suggests a protein-burger (ie hamburger wrapped in lettuce) from In 'n Out. So what do you know? The whole family finishes the episode and drives to In 'n Out at 11PM. I was tired and ghetto-looking so don't judge...

I have never heard so many hoots and hollers of excitement. They acted as if we've never been to a burger place before. Taking no thought that everyone's attire was PJ pants and slippers, we loaded up for a late-night burger/fries/shake snack, along with some arm-wrestling and stimulating conversation. I just thought we were going to go through the drive-through. But NOOOOO, we had to go inside for a true experience. So we did...

 

What made it different than any other time we stopped somewhere for something to eat? It was the spontaneous, out of the blue, unexpected moment. So, mix it up....be spontaneous. Create a forever memory!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Crime and Punishment

One example of a crime and the punishment...

A few months ago I was at the dentist for a checkup and cleaning. Definitely not my favorite thing in the world, but I do like how my teeth feel afterward. Our ENTIRE family was at the dentist that day for the same reason. As you can imagine, it caused some heads to turn and questions to be asked. The dental assistant asked me, "So, how many children do you have?" I replied, "4 boys and 4 girls". It tends to minimize the reaction to say it that way, rather than, "EIGHT!" He proceeded to tell me about the big family he grew up in. We talked a bit about children and discipline and training. He then told me a story I will never forget!

He grew up in a rural town in Idaho. When he was six years old, his mother went "to town" for the monthly shopping trip. He said she was usually gone for about four hours. His sixteen year old brother was in charge of watching him and the rest of the family. His six year old self was probably a bit annoying or bossy or a pain in the neck. As a result, the brother locked him in their fruit room in the basement. No light or window was available; it was pitch black. He cried and screamed and knocked on the door. The brother never let him out.

When the mother came home, she found out what had happened. I'm not sure if she found him in the fruit room as she was putting the groceries away or if she asked where he was. That part of the story is unclear. However, when the tragedy was discovered, obviously she was furious. Can you imagine how frightened that little boy must have been? BUT, they didn't ground the older son. They didn't make him clean the garage or scrub all the bathrooms. The punishment was AMAZING!

For one year the older son had to take the younger son with him EVERYWHERE he went, except to school. If the teenager was going to a party, the younger boy went, too. If he was going to a movie, little brother got to tag along. 

Boy: "But Mom, that movie isn't appropriate for 'Mikey' to see". 
Mom: "I guess you're not going to that movie then".

Boy: "Can I go to Jimmy's house?" 
Mom: "You have to take your little brother with you."

This lasted for ONE YEAR!!! I was incredulous when he told me. 

"He really took you everywhere with him for one year?"

The dental assistant told me the rest of the story...
The older and younger brother became best friends. He is his favorite brother now. The "punishment" that was given ended up being a blessing for both brothers. What began as a very negative experience became a lesson of love and forgiveness. What inspired parents to turn this scenario into a positive blessing for their family!

If one of my children did this, I would be livid. I don't know if I would be calm enough to come up with such wisdom. Not one of my children has ever done something so serious. However, if a warranted situation does arise, I'll have this little gem in the back of my mind. 

I could see myself implementing this idea for a day or a week for situations that fit the bill. Non-loyalty or harmful behavior to siblings does not bode well in our family. Walk that line and you'll be walking with little brother or sister in tow. 

Soldier Hollow Weekend - More to Come About That Amazing Trip!

It is up to parents to formulate tactics that will shape and mold the children they've been given responsibility for. I am grateful to hear experiences of other parents. It gives me new ideas and methods to try with my family. What a blessing to have examples around us whom help us stick-to-it!

I told this story to my children...what the older boy did AND the punishment. They looked at me with disbelief. I'm not sure if they were shocked about the crime or the punishment. Let's just say, I don't think any of them want such a consequence. Great...I don't want to give it either!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Yes, I'll Take Care of your Legos

"You are making a sacrifice, but it is not a sacrifice because you will get more than you give up, you will gain more than you give, and it will prove to be an investment with tremendous returns. It will prove to be a blessing instead of a sacrifice. No one who ever served in this work as a missionary, who gave his or her best efforts, need worry about making a sacrifice, because there will come blessings into the life of that individual for as long as he or she lives."  

- Gordon B. Hinckley

It's a strange feeling when you work so hard to achieve something, give your all for a future goal, strive tirelessly for a positive outcome...but when it actually happens, you're an emotional wreck. I'm happy, too. Really, I am. I'm jovial and ecstatic and thrilled and proud. This was what I wanted all along. But my heart strings are being pulled and when that happens to Mama Bear, tears flow, emotions are high, and focusing on real life is tough. However, it will get better. Millions of mothers have been through it. I will, too.

What am I talking about? My son just left for Santiago, Chile for two years. He's serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. Since he was born, we've hoped for this day. We've prayed that he would have the desire to serve a mission. We know what it will do for him. We know the growth that will take place. We know the man he will become. 

He grew up talking about going on a mission...

His 3 year old prayer: "Help me that I can go on a mission and help my dog go on a mission, too."

His 4 year old prayer: "Please help me that I can go on a mission and my dog, too."

His 7 year old plea: "I'm collecting legos like Uncle Stephen. I'm going to keep my legos until after my mission. Mom, when I'm on my mission, will you take care of my legos?"

His 8 year old prayer: "Please bless me that I can go on a mission to Mexico so I can buy a switch blade knife."

Through his youth he has prepared for this day: seminary, youth activities, service projects, testimony meetings, scripture study, Family Home Evening, missionary prep classes, temple attendance, prayer, jobs, work, saving........

I am a thrilled Mother for his obedience to Heavenly Father and his desire to tell the people of Santiago, Chile about Jesus Christ and His plan for us. I wouldn't want him anywhere else. I'm willing to only hear from him via letter/email once per week. I'm willing to only talk to him twice per year - 4 times over the next two years. I'm willing to pray for him and write to him and support him. But it hurts. He's been gone for almost 24 hours and I'm still crying. He's where I want him to be, but I'm a mess.

As Mothers, we rejoice and mourn for our children. Now is the time for me to rejoice...

"Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation." D&C 31:3

...but I can't help mourning, just a little.

I wrote him a letter to read on the airplane. It's too personal to post in its entirety, but I will share the following:

"I love you, son. I have shed more tears than I thought possible. But they are tears of joy for your goodness, for your righteous desires, for your obedience, for your wise choices, for your example to your siblings and to me. Be of good cheer and know we will pray for you every day. We are waving the flag for Elder Bushman. We will await hearing from you each week with excitement. We will support you as you go to serve the people of Chile. I give you, my oldest son, to the Lord for the next 2 years, willingly and gratefully. Thank you for making me a very happy Mama. My love to you, Adam. Go forward with faith and with God. Return honorably. Love, Mom"

Oh, and yes, I'll take care of your legos while you're on your mission.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Positive Attitude with Six Canines and a Flat Bed

 Romantic sleigh ride? No.

Memorable winter adventure? Yes.

 
I was recently chatting with my married daughter about church. She told me that her friend's sister is in her new ward (congregation) which makes her happy so she won't be bored in Relief Society (the women's meeting). I gave her some of my profound (?) advice:

"Whatever situation we're in will be what we make it to be. Housework can be extremely annoying or we can make it enjoyable with a change of attitude. Going to church can be arduous and boring or spiritually uplifting. Folding laundry can be tedious and monotonous or we can enjoy ourselves by playing music or talking with eachother. Employment can be grueling and status-quo, or a blessing because we have the money to support our family. Our attitude determines the outcome."

I used my own advice in February when Sam and I went away for the weekend to Ogden Canyon. This was our 2012 Christmas present...very enjoyable and long overdue. After all, it had already been 6 months since the Alaskan Cruise! 

As part of our trip, Sam surprised me with a winter sleigh ride in Liberty, Utah. I was imagining a romantic, cute little sleigh with warm blankets, hot cocoa, and a little old man driver. The driver part was correct, but the other details did not match up. Instead of a rustic, antique sleigh (like something you'd see in a historical romance movie), we were presented with a large, cumbersome flat bed trailer; something you'd use for a hay ride. 

As soon as we climbed aboard, six huge dogs jumped up, surrounding us with their panting, slobbering selves. They didn't just sit on the end of the flat bed. No, they got right up on the hay bales with us, warming us up (literally) with their dirty bodies. 

At first I was not happy. 

You're kidding me, right? The driver didn't bother to ask us if we wanted his furry friends to accompany us. I guess they're just part of the gig. I remember thinking, "OK, I can let this really bother me and ruin our sleigh ride, or just go with it and enjoy myself." I chose the latter.

We enjoyed the picturesque mountains covered in snow.

 We watched our little old man driver feed his elk. There he is...see him?

We went up and down snow covered trails. The sunshine kept us warm and the fresh air was glorious. 

Our new canine friends were not so bothersome as time went on. It was actually kind of ironic that we'd have a sleigh full of "extras"....kind of felt like home, although our children are a lot louder than the dogs, but definitely more fun! They even get right in between us, just like our little people at home. :) (Note snout in below photo)

We held hands and linked arms...

...and enjoyed being together -  Dogs and all.

Yes, I find myself regularly needing to take my own advice. In this case, I'm glad I did. What was supposed to be a romantic winter sleigh ride turned out to be the most random and funny winter adventure that we continue to laugh about. Sometimes those unique experiences are more memorable than they would have been under "normal" parameters. Liberty, Utah, little old man, six friendly canines, two European horses, and a flat bed hay trailer provided a day we'll always remember...All because we chose to make it that way.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Want Productivity? CYT!

Match Socks

Clean Under the Couches

Organize the Book Shelf

Clean out the Toaster

Wipe off the Ceiling Fans

Clean under Mom's Bed

...Just some of the "Extra Jobs"

HAVE FUN!!!! :)

It's Spring Break this week and my kids would probably declare that they're deprived because EVERYONE else they know is in some warm, exotic place like Disneyland, Mexico, Florida, Hawaii, St. George, or on a cruise somewhere. (If EVERYONE is having the time of their life, why are all of their friends around to do things with???) So, instead of soaking up the sun, they're soaking up the dirt, dust, and clutter in our home that has long been neglected. Actually, they're earning money to pay off their debts they've incurred for all the excitement they're preparing for this summer. No, they're not happy about it, but I keep reminding them that they have money to earn if they want to enjoy the plans they've already made. 

I've waited for three days for my children to say, "Mom, what can I do to earn money." Well, it hasn't happened. It's one thing for Mom to say, "You really need to do some extra chores to earn some money." Yah, in one ear, out the other. So, I've resorted to this: "You're doing two hours of extra chores today after your regular chores are done and before you can do any fun stuff. And, here's the list of chores that need doin'." It's Called "CYT" or "Change Your Tactic". If it's not working, you need to change your tactic and try something else.

It's amazing when you put a list in front of them, the action that takes place. 

I ran out of room on the first list..had to make a second!

They fought over who could look at the list first and "claim" the coveted extra jobs like organizing the DVD's or replacing light bulbs, not matching socks or organizing the bathroom closet. I had to resort to a rotation: "You choose two jobs, mark your initials, then pass it on." We rotated through all the kids several times until most of the jobs were claimed. Then, they went to town cleaning. Wow, we haven't been that productive in a long time.

This guy surprised me the most! He completely cleaned under both couches AND vacuumed.

A job I've been wanting to get to for years...Organize all the File Folder Games

Hooray - Cleaning out the cupboards!! Yah, we won't mention what we found in there!

Cleaning and wiping out drawers. No more crumbs mixed in with the measuring cups! I hope you can relate!

Cleaning all the grody stuff off the washing machine!

She partnered with "zebra" and they kicked!

Finally got the buckets put back and organized after Christmas!

Oh, the blessings of an organized pantry!

Organizing the toys...seems like somebody's always doing this.

More organizing, more cleaning.

He put himself in time out. Wow!

Now, I've already given them fair warning that the same plan is in place for tomorrow. Hopefully we can get the rest of the list marked off! Create a list and some parameters. Once the task is met, reward and let them play. They deserve it!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Analogy: Crayons, Choices, and Children

"Mom, come quickly. Look what she did!" 

Black crayon scribbled all over the coffee table.

GASP (from me)

Eyes full of  sorrow looked up at mine. 

No, I wasn't mad. But, I wasn't going to let a teaching lesson go by.

Get out the Magic Eraser. Wait, I don't have a Magic Eraser.

Baby Wipes.

Well, it's not the first time I've dealt with a child scribbling crayon all over something, whether it be the wall or the couch or the table, or my Messiah score. At least crayon comes out, not like the "pretend boyfriend" one of my daughters drew in permanent Sharpie on the bedroom wall years ago. 

After seeing the mess she made and being so proud of myself for not raising my voice or getting upset, I quickly told her that it's unacceptable to make a mess of our home and she needed to clean it up. Remembering that the Magic Eraser was used up with some spring cleaning a few weeks ago, I resorted to the baby wipes. I gave her a handful and told her to go to town on scrubbing that table clean. She knew not to complain. She got busy. (Sometimes I think they like cleaning up the mess - to a point - especially if it involves scrubbing.)

No, I don't clean my house or make sure my children look perfect before I take their pictures. This is Bushman Family Reality!

Almost immediately, older brother jumped in to help.That's my scout - doing a good turn!

Many Hands make the Job Light

 
After 20 minutes or so she asked me to come and look at her progress. Pretty good, especially for a 4 year old. There were a few places she missed that I pointed out. She started to complain a bit, "It's too hard, Mommy." There it was...the words that sink into your heart when a child has done her best and is feeling the effects of fatigue and remorse. I took the wipe from her and started scrubbing for her. She placed her hand on mine and we scrubbed the last of it together. She felt happy, with a sense of accomplishment for fixing what she had done.

...take me by the hand...

As we finished up, I suddenly had a spiritual moment...

We all make mistakes in life, like scribbling on the table.  If we leave it alone and don't try to clean it up or make it right, it stays there for all to see, or maybe just for us to see, reminding us of the mistake. Those reminders make us feel guilt or sorrow or sadness. We look at the mess and think, "I don't know how to get rid of it. It's too hard." That's where the Savior comes in. He helps us get rid of the mess, standing by us, strengthening and encouraging as we follow his road map to repentance. (Brother Scout) As we follow it, and do ALL WE CAN, he takes our hand and helps us finish on the path (Mom). He forgives us and remembers our mistakes no more. Best of all, he takes away the guilt and the sorrow and the sadness. He cleanses us and comforts us, which enables us to feel joy. He makes it right.

It's interesting what happens when we follow the Lord's plan of parenting. The pattern is set in the scriptures, and it's up to us to study and learn and practice. We both learned a lesson that day. She learned the consequence of scribbling on the table - being accountable to clean it up, apologize, and do all she can to make it right. I also hope she realized and felt the support from those who love her.  I learned that parenting brings joyful lessons and spiritual moments, thus the Analogy of Crayons, Choices, and Children.
 
More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!