The Ring

The Ring

A circle has no beginning or end

Eternal in nature and a symbol of Him

Who created us all, of which he did send

Us to Earth to prove valiant, but not on a whim;

For a plan was set forth that we may return

To live once again with loved ones so dear.

How will we make it, oh, how will we learn

To heed the voice of One, oh so clear.

The father was troubled, he wanted a plan

For his daughters to see and remember, and know.

 That promises kept, and lived surely can 

Bring joy and happiness while they stay true and grow,

Into fountains of virtue, skies full of love,

Flowers of goodness, meadows of hope.

What will assist to recall Him above?

But a ring that's a circle, eternal in scope.

The ring is placed on her finger with care

By father on the birthday sixteen, no less.

 A bright, shining emblem to happily wear

With words of true kindness that do deeply bless.

She shows it with pride and keeps it from harm

While thinking of values, age-old and true.

The ring reminds of the heart, oh so warm

That tells her to bear the phrase, "I love you."

Written By: Julie Bushman

And so it is with our two daughters when they turned sixteen. Their father presented a ring to remind them of the things they've been taught and to stay true to them throughout their life; to wear the ring until it is replaced by another. 

My only regret is not getting a photo with each one and their Dad!

The Ring - a symbol of purity and virtue, a reminder to stay true.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

A Woman's Perspective of Fathers and Sons

Zippity doo dah, Zippity aye,
My oh my what a wonderful day
Plenty of sunshine coming my way,
Zippity doo dah, Zippity aye. 

"Song of the South"

Because I'm a woman, and a wife, and a mother, my Raising Stick-to-it Kids Blog is naturally written from that perspective. I tend to be a blog-hog when it comes to my thoughts and ideas for raising stick-to-it kids. However, here's my chance to focus on the relationship between Father and Son.

A few weeks ago, Sam took our three youngest sons to a Fathers and Sons event sponsored by our church - an overnight camping trip in the canyon. What a wonderful opportunity to spend time together and learn some great lessons!

First lesson learned: Camping trips take a lot of work!
In our home, if an activity is taking place, all hands on deck. It's not Mom and Dad getting everything ready while the children veg on Game Cube or the iPad. EVERYONE, even the four year old, is involved. Assignments are given and hard work is expected. Fun times don't just magically occur. It takes planning, preparation, organization, and work to pull it off. Want to have fun? Get in on the prep work to make it happen. While preparing for this Fathers and Sons event, we had some complaining and griping. Certain someones weren't entirely thrilled about finding the flashlight or taking the tent out of the storage bag to be sure the poles and stakes are there. It was a good opportunity to discuss the above, and to stick to our expectations. Hopefully next time, the grumps will be non-existent. Wishful thinking?

Second lesson already learned: Pre-cook the tin foil dinners!
We have learned from experience that although in foil dinners are delicious, filling, and extremely satisfying on a camping trip, they take FOREVER to cook in a fire. Our solution - cook them in the oven BEFORE you leave. Nothing is worse than getting to the campsite, setting up all the gear, and realizing the potatoes and carrots in your tin foil dinner are still hard after sitting in the coals forever. So, the men left at 5PM with hot tin foil dinners. When they were ready to eat at 7:30, the food was still warm, cooked, and delicious. (Yes, I made them.) Some may say that it takes some of the fun out of it. Whomever those people are must have all the time in the world and no hungry kids whining at them.

Third lesson learned: Learn to setup the tent!
When my guys came home, one son expressed some frustration in having to help setup the tent. Here's how the conversation went...

"My friends didn't have to setup the tent...their Dads just did it." 

I asked him, "Why do you think Dad had you help setup the tent?"

"Because he's blind?"

"That's not the main reason. What's the real reason?"

"So we learn to do it?"

"YES!!!!"

Well, it's not just to learn how to setup a tent. Lesson number one comes into play here, too. It's the "all hands on deck" mentality. Hard work is expected and fun times follow.

Not our tent, but these guys sure helped!

Fourth lesson learned: Don't drink multiple cans of soda before bedtime!
Before retiring for the night, they all made a bathroom stop. After settling in their sleeping bags, our youngest son declared that he had to go again. Great! Dad had everyone get up again so there would be no chance of another child having to use the facilities. 4AM rolled around. He had to go again. Wow! Dad had everyone get up again to make the trek to the restroom. We don't drink soda on a regular basis at our house. Instead, we use it as a privilege for special times. Was it worth it boys?

Their friend all night long

 Fifth lesson learned: Have a zip line at every camping trip!
The zip line was the highlight of the Fathers and Sons outing. They truly could have come away with singing:  

Zippity doo dah, Zippity aye,
My oh my what a wonderful day!

All the boys, even Dad, went down several times and loved every minute of it!

Sixth Lesson Learned: Just do it, even if you're not feelin' it.
The thought of spending a night in a tent, in the mountains, is not my husband's idea of a good time. When he hears the yearly announcement for Fathers and Sons, he isn't exactly jumping up and down. However, he has learned to just go with it, even if it's not his thing. He does it for our boys, he does it to spend time with them, and to create memories. And oh, what memories they created!

A great Fathers and Sons Camping Trip!

And that's my perspective of the annual Fathers and Sons adventure. How'd I do, boys?

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

A Story of Sweet "Justice"

Grab your pillow and blanket...it's story time!!!

I have a feeling this will be a family favorite!

Let me tell you a story:

Not long ago, a 19 year old girl and her father 

were driving down a residential road in a small suburban town. 

With the radio playing their favorite tunes, they were on a quest to accomplish the errands they had been assigned. Their favorite pastime, listening to music, was interrupted by the flashing lights and dreaded siren of a police officer. 

Pulling over, the girl braced herself for the news; she was speeding and would receive a citation. 

Certainly not the least bit happy, she drove off with a green paper in hand - a speeding ticket. The father tried to cheer up his daughter with a berry smoothie from Costco and jovial conversation. 

The frustration slowly began to dissipate. 

Driving towards home, they noticed a police car on the side of the road. Looking closely, they realized it was the vehicle of the same police officer that pulled her over. The officer was changing a flat tire on his squad car. 

The girl started laughing. The father suggested they turn around and offer to help.

They got our of the car and approached the officer. Their offer of assistance was appreciated and noted by the man, but he was almost finished with the task at hand. The father and daughter returned to the car. Just moments later, the police officer appeared at the girl's window. 

Rolling it down, she was surprised to hear the officer say, "I like to reward good behavior. Can I have that citation back?"

The girl and her father were shocked. Yes, he could certainly have the ticket back! The police officer thanked them for their goodness and walked away, ripping up the dreaded green document. Completely speechless, they drove off laughing but grateful for their good fortune and sweet "justice". 

Moral of the Story: Always show kindness, no matter who it is. You never know when some sweet "justice" will come 'round.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Married...with a "Vision" for Success

Seeing, is not necessarily believing!

Many of you know that my husband is visually impaired and has been since birth. He is speaking this week at a conference for those who have been affected by an inherited retinal degenerative disease called LCA or Leber congenital amaurosis, which is the cause of his blindness. Sam asked me to help with his presentation by speaking about what it's like to be married to a person who is blind. I decided to write my thoughts as a blog post because one, it comes naturally for me and two, recording my feelings for posterity's sake is important to me.

Sam and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. See our early celebration and the actual celebration. 20 years ago, I did not think much about what it would be like to be married to someone with such a limitation. You see, my father was in a wheelchair since he was 16, and so understanding differences was just a part of my life since Day 1.

With Dad at Yellowstone National Park - almost 20 years to the day - 1992

However, I have learned much from being married to Sam, just like any wife would learn from being married to her husband. Every marriage has its struggles and so does every person; no situation or individual is perfect. Just as Sam is visually impaired, I have inadequacies, faults, and weaknesses, too. The following three topics can be applied to everyone:

Accept, Adjust, and Appreciate 

Gratitude for the Can, and the Willingness to Try

Look Back...and Move Forward.

Accept, Adjust, and Appreciate

With any limitation, there is a level of acceptance that must be met to be able to move forward with life.  When our third daughter turned five, we were having a family discussion about Sam's blindness. Our older two children asked, "Dad, do you have a handicap?" This darling, five year old daughter asked, "Where does he keep it?" She was accepting of him!

We all have handicaps or disadvantages that make success in life more difficult. To deny it stifles progression. As our marriage has grown, I have learned to accept the things that Sam can do and those things that are a struggle. I've come to accept that he can't wink at me from across the room or drive me to a surprise location for a date night. However, we can adjust with a hug or a hand hold, and ME driving to a surprise location for a date night as I follow his directions.

20 Years of Accepting, Adjusting, and Appreciating

A spontaneous carriage ride in Salt Lake City

I've come to accept that he does not play basketball with our boys, nor does he formally dance with the girls. But, the adjustments come when he gives advice at the boy's games, is the pep-coach for one of the boy's teams, or when Sam talks basketball day and night with our sons (or so it seems at times). 

The half time pep talk

Team Coaching our younger son's team with our older son

Adjustments are seen when he pleasantly twirls our little girl as he tries to calm her cries, or when he agrees to get his toe nails painted at a Daddy-Daughter Activity.

A natural position for all eight babies!

Sweet times with one of his four princesses!

I've accepted that I need to assist in providing for the family. Thankfully, I am able to work from home which is a tremendous blessing. We adjust, for example, by Dad assisting with organizing the children to take care of their responsibilities while I work on a project.

2004 - Spending time doing dishes together

After accepting and adjusting, appreciate one another for their willingness to accept and adjust. Discover the "love language" of your spouse and show appreciation how he or she would like to see it.


Gratitude for the Can...and the Willingness to Try

As a woman, I want things done a certain way! It's just my nature. Some of my old tendencies included...
I want the towels folded like so.
I want my husband to spend time with the children the way I think it should happen.
I want to spend the evening doing (fill in the blank)...
I want to fix THIS for dinner.
Please don't roll up the toothpaste that way
Discipline our children like this...

And so it goes on. I'm sure I'm still this way in certain areas or with particular issues that mean a lot to me, however, I have changed A LOT! What's the key? Gratitude that my husband can do things and that he is willing to try. A grateful heart is the door to a joyful life. Having joy is much more pleasant than anger or frustration, don't you think?

I'm grateful Sam is willing to dress up for the family Christmas nativity play and to participate in the family pie eating tradition, even though it's out of his comfort zone.

Ridiculous costumes but the best tradition!!

A good sport in the pie-eating contest!

 
I'm grateful Sam can hike up the mountain with a baby on his back, even though he can't see the beauty around him.

Timp Cave Hike - 2004

Moab, UT - 2006

I'm grateful Sam willingly serves his mother by working on her computer, even though he can't
fix the leaking water heater in her basement.

Christmas, 2011

I'm grateful Sam can play with the kids in the sand and the water,even though he can't play frisbee.

Coronado, CA - 2012

Diggin' with Dad - Coronado, 2012

Jumpin' the Waves in Carpenteria, CA - 2012

More Diggin' with Dad in Carpenteria, CA - 2012

I'm grateful Sam was willing to have our eight fabulous children, even though he knew it would be a challenge for him. However, he will join me in saying that the joys far outweigh the challenges.

The Bushman Family - April, 2012

Look Back...and Move Forward

I strongly disagree with the adage, "Don't Look Back"! I believe that looking back provides valuable insight to the future. I like to look back at the lessons learned and the progress made. 

I look back to the memories of the little children learning about Dad's blindness. They would see Dad coming towards them, brace themselves, grab onto his pants and cling for dear life to avoid being flattened. Next, they moved to straight arming Dad to avoid being overrun, but it wasn't always successful. Finally, their progression led to moving out of the way entirely to avoid any contact.  

Safe in the Swing!

I look back to the beautiful experiences of my children learning to help Dad in so many capacities: guiding, finding, assisting, seeing, reading, and serving.

Making sure Dad doesn't crash!

Guiding Dad on a canyon hike

Only encouragement is needed here!

Looking back gives me the desire to move forward! There is much to learn and experience in the future!!

In a blog post, that's what it's like to be married to Sam. With acceptance, gratitude, and optimism, I "see" a grand future for both of us!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

15 Years: Where in the World is Dad????

Laughter, Crying, Screaming, Tears, Singing, Reading, Acting, Fun

Yep, we had it all! It wouldn't have been a typical Father's Day Program if we hadn't!

"My Heavenly Father Loves Me" Skit - The Human Wind Machine

The 15th Annual Bushman Family Father's Day Program

Where in the World is Dad???

June 17, 2012

This Year's Emcee

The Father of Honor!

The Peanut Gallery!

Tears were Shed During the First Number...

....And Sweet Hugs

Nephi's Courage Skit:

Nephi (Little Guy), Laman and Lemuel (Big Guys)

King Laban - a la Cars Robe

The Fill in Nephi - "I will Go, I will Do" (standing on coffee table)

The original Nephi grumped. Dad cheered him up with a drink.

My Heavenly Father Loves Me Skit:

Crying Daddy - Wiping his Eyes

He didn't see the "Rain on my Face" moment coming. He liked the Velvet Rose, thanks to our out of town neighbor's rose bush.

Our cute little Butterfly - "He gave me my eyes that I might see, the color of Butterfly Wings."

Random-ness:

Make sure you shave next time! :)

A Stroll Down Memory Lane

The oldest five children each wrote up ten memories about Dad. Throughout the program, we had a "Stroll Down Memory Lane" and read a chunk of them. Fun times!

A Father's Day Poem

Piano Solo - I liked this headless shot

Big Bro helped Little Bro create his Father's Day Book and then read it to Dad

 

Not really sure what he's doing - praying? meditating? Just a weird shot at the perfect time. Oh, and there's our program.

So nice to see smiles and not frowns!

Mom and Daughter Duet - Oh, my father

So, where in the World is Dad? Nope, he's not in London, New York, Mexico or Canada. He's not on our Alaskan Cruise (yet), in Ohio (yet), California (yet) or in Philadelphia (yet). He is right here with us - in all the places that represent Dad...

...In the Bathroom!

...On his Bed!

...At his Desk!

...In the Shower!

...In his Chair at the Kitchen Table

...At the Refrigerator Door getting his Drinks and Sauces

...In his Favorite Movie-Watching Spot

...On his Favorite Couch in the Living Room

...And in his place in the Family Yukon

Another Father's Day Program in the Bag! The best part? No grumpy kids for the Where in the World is Dad photos, presents, or dessert! We will take the little miracles we can get!

Happy Father's Day, Pops! We love you!!!!!!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!