No matter how many times you tell your children not to do something (or to do something), sometimes they just have to do it (or not do it) and suffer the consequences to REALLY learn. I find, as a mother, that too many times I want to save my children from these consequences, but they end up missing the lesson they so need!
My 6 year old daughter on Tuesday night: "Mom, something flew in my ear...really, I was lying in bed and I felt something go in my ear. I think it was maybe a googly eye or something."
Great! How many times have I told her never to put anything in her nose or ear? I look in there with my otoscope (what would I do without that?), and sure enough, there's a googly eye stuck in the ear canal.
She insisted that she didn't know how it got there. (And I was born yesterday) I wouldn't let her get away with naivety nor get out of any consequences. After fifteen minutes of talking with her, she confessed to putting it in her ear. We told her that it would cost a lot of money to take her to the doctor to get it removed.
Consequence: being scared all night with a googly eye stuck in her ear (we had to wait until morning), going to the doctor which no child likes (well, maybe to her it was exciting), suffering humiliation through the teasings of her older siblings (she didn't want to tell them - too late, I already did), and doing extra jobs around the house to help pay for the doctor's bill. Hopefully, this experience will teach her to NEVER do this again. Side note: the doctor asked us if we wanted the googly eye back for a souvenir. Are you kidding? Throw that thing away - we don't want to take any chances of it making it back in her ear.
My nine year old son: He came home last week with his report card. He was disappointed in himself because he received a B in reading. He's supposed to read twenty minutes each day and get his reading bookmark signed off by a parent. I got tired of playing reading nazi; reminding him every night, putting my foot down to DO YOUR READING NOW!!!, fighting him to do the reading routine each evening. I decided to let him govern himself and let it go. That's not my style! I believe in reminding my children about their responsibilities. They need guidance and direction and help. We all do. Sometimes, though, they need to suffer the consequence.
Consequence: Getting a B, instead of an A and feeling badly for not doing his best. The positive is he told me, "I'm going to do my reading every night so I get an A in reading next term." Yes!! I love that kind of motivation. Hopefully, it really "sticks"!We've had our fair share of beads, BBs, lettuce and raisins up the nose. All of us can tell a story about our children making mistakes and doing dumb things. Be grateful for the lessons they learn...and then prepare for more stupid stuff down the road.
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