Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Sensitivity to the Sensitive

"Up, up in the sky, where the little birds fly;
Down, down in the nest where the little birds rest;
With a wing on the left, and a wing on the right;
The dear little birdies sleep all the long night.
When the bright sun comes up, and the dew floats away;
'Good morning, dear sunshine', the little birds say.
How fair are the flowers; how green are the trees!
Our Heavenly Father made all of these things."
 "Up, Up in the Sky" - an old Primary song

My mom used to sing this to us when we were young children. This is probably where I developed a tender spot for birds. As a child, I remember watching all of the birds in our neighborhood in Northern California, especially the Mourning Dove. I loved this bird so much that I chose this particular species for the bird report I was assigned in elementary school.


I have also carried guilt about killing my friend's parakeet when I was 11. The bird was in my care while my friend's family went on vacation. I tried to feed it and give it water but every time I did, the bird would peck at me. Being a scared and slightly stupid child, I didn't ask my mother for help. I found the bird dead on the bottom of the cage from starvation and dehydration. They still paid me for taking care of it. I think her mom was happy to be rid of it...or maybe that thought just makes me feel better.


Last month, we cut down the trees in our yard in an attempt to start afresh. We had a huge blue spruce pine tree against our house. 

The final day for our blue spruce pine.
 When it came crashing down, so did a bird's nest. After the workers cut up the tree and removed the trunk and branches from the lawn, two baby birds were found. My daughter's sensitivity kicked in and she immediately pleaded with me to help her save the birds.

I thought of the yellow parakeet. Now's the time to redeem myself and help another bird live! No, I really thought of my daughter's desire to care for two of Heavenly Father's creatures. How could I not be sensitive to her sensitivity?!?

I looked up on the Internet how to care for baby birds. We made a nest for them in a plastic Easter basket. (The workers had already thrown out the nest.) We borrowed dog food from the neighbor and soaked it in water for an hour. Once it was soggy, we fed it to the birds with tweezers. We hung the basket in some tall bushes by our house. We hoped the mother would hear their cries and would come take care of them. I don't think that ended up happening, but they did survive the first day! She named the baby Eats-a-lot because he ate soooo much...every half hour. The older bird was named Sits-a-lot because he would always sit on the smaller bird. (All those episodes of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman gave her the idea for  Native-American sounding names.)

The two birds were different ages. The older one is above the younger one.

So happy to be helping these little birdies!

The basket, hanging from the bushes near our porch. She was out there ALL the time. She will be an awesome mother!
After the first night, we discovered the older bird gone from the basket. Thinking optimistically, we consoled our crying daughter with the thought that it was big enough and strong enough to fly away, thanks to a healthy portion of soggy dog food. I was a bit upset with the older bird. I don't see how it didn't like the bright pink basket-nest we created! We also hoped it would stick around to help care for the little one. But alas, it was gone so efforts turned to saving Eats-a-lot.

The week turned cold and my daughter put a washcloth in the basket to help keep it warm. It slowly stopped eating and then one day it was no more. I had never seen such a heart broken little girl. She cried and cried. I cried and cried for her sorrow. (I'm starting to cry right now just thinking about it). I told her she would see Eats-a-lot again and he would thank her for trying to save him.

This photo is of a LIVE Eats-a-lot!
So, that is our baby bird adventure. The chance of the birds surviving was very minimal. However, I had to do all I could to help my daughter care for them. Hopefully, she will remember this experience and will feel love and care from her mother as I was sensitive to her sensitivity. 

I think of the quote from Benjamin Franklin: "And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid?"

I know the quote is talking about the founding of America, but I like to think of the empire as my little family. God saw that baby robin fall, and likewise, I know he is aiding me in the raising of my family.

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Give care and show support of those tender emotions inside of your children, for their feelings are precious and fragile, just like those baby birds.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Take a Break!

No matter how much you love your children, you need a break. No, you're not abandoning your children if you go out of town for a few days and leave them with Grandma. You're not a bad mother for wanting an evening with Dad. Get a babysitter and get out of the house!
It's healthy to have time alone with your spouse. It's rejuvenating to think about other things rather than changing diapers, what's for dinner?, Mikey needs to go to soccer practice, the car payment is due or five loads of laundry need to be folded. Take a break from all the worry and spend time together!
Sam and I go out at least once a week. Some weeks we make it twice and those are fabulous times! After being stuck at home for two weeks taking care of children with strep throat and hives, I was just dying to get out. I asked the older children to "maintain order" (code for babysit) and we went out for just an hour to get a shake and talk about life. It made all the difference! Our usual outings include dinner (a MUST)  and then walking, shopping or reading. For special occasions we'll see a play or musical. We enjoy going out with friends, too! We tend to stay away from movies because first, there's rarely anything good to see and secondly, you can't talk to each other.
Yes, if you don't have older children who can "hold down the fort" (another code), it makes things more difficult. Our first two children were 17 months apart, followed by our third 26 months later. #4 came 25 months later. At one point we had four children under six and it was CRAAZZYYY but it was AWESOME! We didn't take the time to go out much since babysitters are expensive (we're blessed with eternal treasures, not worldly treasures). However, there are ways to be creative and get the time you need. Trade babysitting with a friend who has young children, too. It's a great way to get out weekly for BOTH parties and the children have fun playing with some friends. My brother and his wife have a babysitting co-op in their neighborhood. I think it's a great idea..I'll get more info and do a post about that. (Reminder to self) Get the children to bed early (easier said than done) and have a date at home. Don't just watch TV. Do something unique and special. Or, get up early and have a special breakfast together. Take the children to the park and have a "date" on the park bench. Whatever you do, do something. I will admit, we rejoiced, truly we did, when our oldest child was able to babysit. Now we have four children old enough to be the "head honcho". Honestly, I never thought the time would come...but it does.
Sam is great about encouraging us to go out of town once or twice per year. When he suggests it I always say, "Oh, it's not good timing, so and so has this, who will watch the kids, it's too expensive to go...". Excuses, excuses. I have the guilty mother syndrome. Once the logistics are secured and everything is worked out (which it always does work out), I'm soooooo grateful for the time away. Usually, it's just for a day or two, but we always count the hours (literally) and savor them. 

31 Hours...
Approximately 72 hours...
3 hours...hey, 3 hours is 3 hours
60 Hours or so...
Yes, take a break and another and another. You come back with more appreciation for your children and they seem to like you a little better, too.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Speaking of Traditions...

With Halloween tonight (in our area, the neighborhood celebrates it on Saturday when it falls on Sunday), most people have carved their pumpkins and are ready to light them in just a few hours. We are usually at that point as well...but not this year. I don't really like Halloween anyway, so I'm not sad that we haven't carved any pumpkins. My children haven't mentioned it either so I don't feel guilty. What I'm really trying to say, is it's OK to skip a tradition. Don't stress yourself out because you haven't planned the annual Halloween party or didn't send out Christmas Cards. Don't feel guilty if you didn't dye Easter Eggs or frost sugar cookies on Valentine's Day. Sometimes life happens and to try to do it ALL makes life CRAZZZZZY!!!
In the past two weeks I have dealt with strep throat in six of eight children, one of the children breaking out in hives after taking amoxicillin. He has had them for almost a week and they're still giving him fits. Now that same child is flat on his back with a fractured leg (it's a mystery how that happened)! No, I'm not carving pumpkins and I don't feel badly about it! We were lucky to just make it to the Harvest Party last night with everyone in a costume (except for the injured one and our oldest daughter who cheerfully agreed to watch him). Trick-or-Treating tonight will be the bare minimum for our little ones. Take pictures, have fun, no guilt and move on!Since we don't have any pumpkins carved on our front porch, I'll reminisce a little:

2009
2009
2007
 Well, look at that. No carving in 2008. I guess that was another off year.

2007
2006
2006
2004
2003
2003
2002
That's good enough. Besides, all of my pictures pre-2002 are not digital...another project for another day. After looking at these pictures, I'm quite glad I don't have that mess to deal with this year. Off to console a miserable little boy instead...

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!
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