We had a great interview today on Liberty Roundtable - www.libertynewsradio.com.
Thanks, Sam and Curt!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
"The Form"
Before I even begin, let me just say, "I love my teenagers!" They are delightful, fun, enjoyable and amazing people. They just need guidance, love, boundaries, discussions, reasoning, time, trust, and more, much more.
In our home, we don't believe in our children leaving without knowing where they're going, who they're going to be with, when they'll be home, etc, etc. In guiding our children towards increased responsibility, my husband introduced "The Form".
"The Form" was created by our teenagers and Dad. It is a list of questions that need to be answered before we give the OK for a particular event; questions like: "Who is driving?", "How much money will it cost?", "Who is going?", "Where will it take place?". Let me tell you now, my teenagers were not excited about this, but they know their Dad, and he's very lenient when you're responsible, thorough, self-governed and helpful, so they went along.
At first it seemed kind of goofy, but "The Form" has accomplished many things...
1. When a child asks if they can do something, they know we're going to say "Where's the form". They've learned to figure out all the questions before asking if they can do something. It has taught them to gather the information and present it in a logical fashion.
2. Our children have their events well planned; no more last minute phone calls from the movie theater such as, "Can you pick us up". They are more organized and thus, their events go more smoothly.
3. As parents, we have all of the information we need to make an informed decision. I don't want my children going to a movie if I don't know what they're going to see. (Now, more than ever, is this vital!)
4. We know what our children are doing! We feel comfortable with who they are with and where they are going. We're "in the know" and I love it.
FYI - "The Form" isn't always a physical piece of paper. Sometimes it's an email or an oral explanation, but the key components are there for us to make our decision and for our children to have a fantastic time.
No, our children have not given us "The Form" when Mom and Dad go out together. I'm sure it's just a matter of time...
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
In our home, we don't believe in our children leaving without knowing where they're going, who they're going to be with, when they'll be home, etc, etc. In guiding our children towards increased responsibility, my husband introduced "The Form".
"The Form" was created by our teenagers and Dad. It is a list of questions that need to be answered before we give the OK for a particular event; questions like: "Who is driving?", "How much money will it cost?", "Who is going?", "Where will it take place?". Let me tell you now, my teenagers were not excited about this, but they know their Dad, and he's very lenient when you're responsible, thorough, self-governed and helpful, so they went along.
At first it seemed kind of goofy, but "The Form" has accomplished many things...
1. When a child asks if they can do something, they know we're going to say "Where's the form". They've learned to figure out all the questions before asking if they can do something. It has taught them to gather the information and present it in a logical fashion.
2. Our children have their events well planned; no more last minute phone calls from the movie theater such as, "Can you pick us up". They are more organized and thus, their events go more smoothly.
3. As parents, we have all of the information we need to make an informed decision. I don't want my children going to a movie if I don't know what they're going to see. (Now, more than ever, is this vital!)
4. We know what our children are doing! We feel comfortable with who they are with and where they are going. We're "in the know" and I love it.
FYI - "The Form" isn't always a physical piece of paper. Sometimes it's an email or an oral explanation, but the key components are there for us to make our decision and for our children to have a fantastic time.
No, our children have not given us "The Form" when Mom and Dad go out together. I'm sure it's just a matter of time...
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Gunnysack Man
We came across this fun little book;
My children said, "Let's take a look".
"Mom, Mom, let's read it right now."
After reading it, they simply said, "Wow".
"I want to try it", our little girl said.
She ran to her room and made her bed.
"Do you think he'll come to our house?"
"Maybe, if you're quiet as a mouse."
This is a fun book that motivates children to keep their room clean. Here's another plug for creativity - it really gets children excited to work! My two little ones like to read it again and again...they like to learn about Karen and Ruth Anne.
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
My children said, "Let's take a look".
"Mom, Mom, let's read it right now."
After reading it, they simply said, "Wow".
"I want to try it", our little girl said.
She ran to her room and made her bed.
"Do you think he'll come to our house?"
"Maybe, if you're quiet as a mouse."
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The Cell Phone Dilemma
In this age of instant contact and a desire for the safety of your children, I can understand the need for parents to give their children a cell phone. But, I think it's gone too far, especially when children as young as 8 years old have their own phone with texting capabilities. I could go on and on about my opinions in this matter, but the reason for this post is to give an alternative to each child in your family having their own cell phone.
In our family, Mom and Dad have their own phones and for the children we have family phones. The family phones can be checked out with permission, to take on dates, dances, out with friends, to the store, etc. This provides a phone for the child for safety issues and ease of communication. Yet, it limits the extreme use of texting, gaming and talking on the phone. A certain child never has a certain phone, preventing the "girl that calls all the time" from getting to your son; rather, half the time little sister will answer instead. Parents are able to better monitor calls that are coming and going. Texting is not on our family communication plan.
No, this method may not be for everyone, but it keeps the phone for the purpose it was intended - a tool for proper communication, not a toy for fun and games. There is enough media distraction in our children's lives already. Let's not add more complication to the mix.
More to come, but until then - Stick-to-it!
In our family, Mom and Dad have their own phones and for the children we have family phones. The family phones can be checked out with permission, to take on dates, dances, out with friends, to the store, etc. This provides a phone for the child for safety issues and ease of communication. Yet, it limits the extreme use of texting, gaming and talking on the phone. A certain child never has a certain phone, preventing the "girl that calls all the time" from getting to your son; rather, half the time little sister will answer instead. Parents are able to better monitor calls that are coming and going. Texting is not on our family communication plan.
No, this method may not be for everyone, but it keeps the phone for the purpose it was intended - a tool for proper communication, not a toy for fun and games. There is enough media distraction in our children's lives already. Let's not add more complication to the mix.
More to come, but until then - Stick-to-it!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Make it a Game
I'm behind on sock matching. Sound Familiar? Right now my unmatched sock container is a huge rubbermaid bucket, you know, one you would store your children's outgrown clothes in. Yes, that's how many unmatched socks we have right now. Of course, today, my 3 year old son decided to dump the socks all over my bedroom floor. Here's the moment of truth. Do I:
1. Get upset and tell him to clean them up (which most likely will not get accomplished)
2. Get upset when he doesn't clean them up and do it myself.
3. Make it a game and see what happens.
This is what we did...
First of all, he loves basketball (yes, he has three older brothers). I told him, "Let's shoot them into the bucket and see how many points we can make". He immediately got into it. He grabbed handfulls of socks and threw them into the "hoop". With every shot we'd say "two points" or "three points". We even got into some slam-dunking.
It took three minutes to clean up. He had fun doing it but it instilled in him the concept of "if you make a mess, you clean it up." I had fun as well, and I didn't lose my cool.
Hey, I didn't realize I was so good at "basketball"!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
1. Get upset and tell him to clean them up (which most likely will not get accomplished)
2. Get upset when he doesn't clean them up and do it myself.
3. Make it a game and see what happens.
This is what we did...
First of all, he loves basketball (yes, he has three older brothers). I told him, "Let's shoot them into the bucket and see how many points we can make". He immediately got into it. He grabbed handfulls of socks and threw them into the "hoop". With every shot we'd say "two points" or "three points". We even got into some slam-dunking.
It took three minutes to clean up. He had fun doing it but it instilled in him the concept of "if you make a mess, you clean it up." I had fun as well, and I didn't lose my cool.
Hey, I didn't realize I was so good at "basketball"!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Give 'em a Box
My diaper shipment just came to the door - a huge box from Diapers.com. I love that website...order diapers and other supplies on Wednesday morning, they get delivered the next day; not only are they fast but their prices are competitive.
After unpacking the box, I put the product away and come back to find my two little tigers playing in the box. This doesn't surprise me, for the big box is a standard toy at our house. Give them a box and their imagination runs wild. It becomes a car, a ship, a soda-pop machine, a refrigerator, a bunker, a swimming pool..you get the idea.
Best of all - the box is free. Yes, toys are nice, but not necessary when some good, old fashioned, long term fun is in store. Teach your children to be content with simple things, not fancy and expensive items that break or fall apart.
One other plus - cleanup is nice and easy!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
After unpacking the box, I put the product away and come back to find my two little tigers playing in the box. This doesn't surprise me, for the big box is a standard toy at our house. Give them a box and their imagination runs wild. It becomes a car, a ship, a soda-pop machine, a refrigerator, a bunker, a swimming pool..you get the idea.
And for little ones, sometimes the fun is just climbing in and out, in and out.
Best of all - the box is free. Yes, toys are nice, but not necessary when some good, old fashioned, long term fun is in store. Teach your children to be content with simple things, not fancy and expensive items that break or fall apart.
One other plus - cleanup is nice and easy!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
That's Nice
Child: "I want some water!"... Parent: "That's nice."
Child: "I want some water!"... Parent: "That's nice."
Child: "I have some water please?"... Parent: "Sure!!"
I love using this tactic. It promotes thinking. "Why isn't Mom getting me water?" "Hmmmm, why is Mom saying 'That's nice'?" Sometimes they get it the first time. Sometimes two or three. Once they get it, they smile and realize, "I need to ask properly." When they do, enthusiasm is key; it encourages the proper attitude and kind language. Give it a try!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Child: "I want some water!"... Parent: "That's nice."
Child: "I have some water please?"... Parent: "Sure!!"
I love using this tactic. It promotes thinking. "Why isn't Mom getting me water?" "Hmmmm, why is Mom saying 'That's nice'?" Sometimes they get it the first time. Sometimes two or three. Once they get it, they smile and realize, "I need to ask properly." When they do, enthusiasm is key; it encourages the proper attitude and kind language. Give it a try!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
A Little Reverse-Psychology...
I'm always looking for little things my children can do to instill responsibility while getting a task accomplished that is needed, not to mention give them a lift in the self-esteem arena.
Today I asked my 5 year old and 3 year old to get the clothes out of the dryer and bring them upstairs. Both of them immediately said it was too hard. After hearing their complaints for a minute I said, "You're right. It's too hard. Both of you are too little and you're definitely not strong enough!"
Right away they said, "I'm not little...I'm big...I'm strong...I can do it." They ran downstairs to do the job. I could hear some grunts and the dryer door close. I could hear them struggling together to carry the hamper full of clothes up the stairs. When they got to the top, all tired out from this overwhelming task, they ran into the bedroom, shouting, "We did it, we did it."
Yes, they did it! They were responsible, they accomplished the job and they felt good about themselves. Good job! (And I didn't have to go switch the laundry :) )
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Today I asked my 5 year old and 3 year old to get the clothes out of the dryer and bring them upstairs. Both of them immediately said it was too hard. After hearing their complaints for a minute I said, "You're right. It's too hard. Both of you are too little and you're definitely not strong enough!"
Right away they said, "I'm not little...I'm big...I'm strong...I can do it." They ran downstairs to do the job. I could hear some grunts and the dryer door close. I could hear them struggling together to carry the hamper full of clothes up the stairs. When they got to the top, all tired out from this overwhelming task, they ran into the bedroom, shouting, "We did it, we did it."
Yes, they did it! They were responsible, they accomplished the job and they felt good about themselves. Good job! (And I didn't have to go switch the laundry :) )
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Monday, November 2, 2009
An Equitable Solution
Do you have a room in your home that seems to get used so much that it gets messy often and easily? That's my family room; where the TV is as well as the most square footage for playing with toys and good old horse play. Thus, it gets messy, especially when my older children are gone and the younger ones have a hay day. We've gone through times where one child is responsible for that room but it's overwhelming for them, and for me. Now, we've come up with an equitable solution for the chore that nobody wants to have.
First option - do it together. Synergy is definitely working for us when the whole family takes ten minutes to do a group cleanup. It's amazing how much can get done!
Second option - assign a time limit or an item count. Each child in our family has a chore entitled "Dad's Choice" which is usually 1. Spend ten minutes on the family room or 2. Pickup 50 things in the family room (Or whatever number based on necessity).
These options can work for any task in your home. We've used it for yard work, organizing food storage, matching socks, kitchen cleanup, folding laundry, etc. Create an equitable solution in your home and see what can be accomplished.
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
First option - do it together. Synergy is definitely working for us when the whole family takes ten minutes to do a group cleanup. It's amazing how much can get done!
Second option - assign a time limit or an item count. Each child in our family has a chore entitled "Dad's Choice" which is usually 1. Spend ten minutes on the family room or 2. Pickup 50 things in the family room (Or whatever number based on necessity).
These options can work for any task in your home. We've used it for yard work, organizing food storage, matching socks, kitchen cleanup, folding laundry, etc. Create an equitable solution in your home and see what can be accomplished.
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
My Halloween Philosophy
Halloween is definitely not my favorite holiday. I cannot stand the thought of a month long Halloween celebration; it seems like October 1st rolls around and the costumes come out or the costume requests. Several years ago I decided to do it differently and it was the best thing I've ever done!
Three days before Halloween we get out the costume boxes. The children decide what they want to be based on what we have in the boxes. Usually the younger children are fine with this. If the older children want to buy a fancy costume, it's on their dime. If any of them need an accessory for their costume, we make one trip to the local "costume-land" to pick it up.
Once their decision is made, we stick with it. No changing costumes or whining to be something else. With 8 children, this simplifies life immensely. I'm not dealing with costumes scattered all over the house for the month of October nor am I thinking about Halloween all month long. I think about it for 3 days and that's that.
This year we had an EMT, a seven dwarf, a BYU football fan, Paul Bunyon, an indian, a Butterfly, a fireman and a princess.
And now....we can relax!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Three days before Halloween we get out the costume boxes. The children decide what they want to be based on what we have in the boxes. Usually the younger children are fine with this. If the older children want to buy a fancy costume, it's on their dime. If any of them need an accessory for their costume, we make one trip to the local "costume-land" to pick it up.
Once their decision is made, we stick with it. No changing costumes or whining to be something else. With 8 children, this simplifies life immensely. I'm not dealing with costumes scattered all over the house for the month of October nor am I thinking about Halloween all month long. I think about it for 3 days and that's that.
This year we had an EMT, a seven dwarf, a BYU football fan, Paul Bunyon, an indian, a Butterfly, a fireman and a princess.
And now....we can relax!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Tear it up!
Cooking with children - Ah, the joys. Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice? It's not always the most delightful task BUT, it's good for kids to help in the kitchen and they really can be helpful IF you find the right task for them to do.
Usually when I hear the sound of tearing paper, I get nervous that the important check that just came in the mail is being ripped to shreds. Here's an idea for letting them tear and be productive in the kitchen:
Making enchilada casserole? Let your little ones go to town with tearing up the corn tortillas. It kept them busy for 20 minutes and gave them a creative outlet as well. My little guy held up a piece of tortilla shaped like a spire and said, "Mom, a church."
Best of all, they did something that needed to be done and they were happy to do it.
Do you have some creative ways to get children involved in the kitchen? Do share!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Usually when I hear the sound of tearing paper, I get nervous that the important check that just came in the mail is being ripped to shreds. Here's an idea for letting them tear and be productive in the kitchen:
Best of all, they did something that needed to be done and they were happy to do it.
Do you have some creative ways to get children involved in the kitchen? Do share!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
If you commit...you follow through
So, my 15 year old son committed to bringing peanut butter bars to his school harvest party tomorrow. I come home at 9:30 from an evening out with Dad and no beautiful, delicious peanut butters are on the bar, ready to take to school in the morning; he completely forgot.
"What should we do, Mom?"
Mom's response, "Well, if you commit, you follow through, even if it's 9:30 PM." He promptly got to work. He's proud to take his "creation" to school tomorrow, even if it means staying up until 11:00 to get it done. I'm proud of his good attitude even through the frustration of a deficient memory.
Here's a positive...We get a Midnight snack of to-die-for chocolate frosted peanut butter bars.
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
"What should we do, Mom?"
Mom's response, "Well, if you commit, you follow through, even if it's 9:30 PM." He promptly got to work. He's proud to take his "creation" to school tomorrow, even if it means staying up until 11:00 to get it done. I'm proud of his good attitude even through the frustration of a deficient memory.
Here's a positive...We get a Midnight snack of to-die-for chocolate frosted peanut butter bars.
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
"How do you do it?"
I have 8 super-duper, fantastic children!! When people find out how many children I have, many times I'm asked, "How do you do it"? My response varies...
- Sometimes I say, "I don't know" because I'm amazed at the capacity I've been blessed with to handle my responsibilities.
- Other times I respond with, "I take it a day at a time" because when life gets tough, you truly need to look at the day's tasks and not get overwhelmed with everything that's on your plate.
- "Lots of prayers" is another response. Managing a family of 10 is a daunting task at times, and I need the Lord's help! He's given me my children and he knows what's best for them. I need to ask Him how to handle situations and allow Him to lead me.
- "My husband is awesome". He supports me in all that we do.
- Lately, my response is: "I utilize my older children". I couldn't handle it all if it were not for them. Just recently...
Pairing up children builds unity, encourages patience, assists with getting the task at hand accomplished, creates a "buddy system", establishes a role-model/example and teaches age-related lessons to both parties.
Utilize your helpers...boy, does it pay off. We enjoyed a nice dinner of orange chicken/rice, corn, bread and 6 jack o'lanterns smiling on the front porch while I was smiling in the kitchen.
More to come, but until then....Stick-to-it!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
He can't do it? Yes, he can!
Years ago, I was at a friend's home visiting. I picked up some garbage on the floor and asked their 2 year old to throw it in the trash can. My friend's response startled me.. "Oh, he doesn't know how to do that." Why doesn't he know? It's simple...he's never been taught.
Children are like sponges; they quickly soak up the information around them. They're eager to learn but we have to teach them the things we want them to know.
There are so many things that little ones can do. Here's an example:
Our three year old loves to help vacuum with the canister vac and the hose attachment. With supervision of course, he vacuums the stairs and along the baseboards. It keeps him happy, content and BUSY. I love that!
Children are like sponges; they quickly soak up the information around them. They're eager to learn but we have to teach them the things we want them to know.
There are so many things that little ones can do. Here's an example:
Our little sweetheart likes to push the start button on the dishwasher after we load the dirty dishes. It's a simple thing, but she feels like she's helping and it's a start towards responsibility.
Other job ideas: Clean the doorknobs (sticky and greasy doorknobs are a no-no at our house), empty the trash cans, learn to replace the toilet paper in the bathrooms, replace the kitchen and bathroom towels with fresh ones, bring in the newspaper, be the family messenger, help watch a younger sibling, set the table, or make a bed (even if it's wrinkled and uneven). Young kids are so good at pushing the wet clothes into the dryer or give them a spray bottle and a rag and have them go to town on a dirty floor, appliances or kitchen cupboards.
At a young age, children can fold clothes and put them away. Kitchen towels and washcloths are the best thing to start with!
It may seem like it doesn't matter much if your four year old doesn't have any responsibility, but it will pay off for them and for you when they're older and they really know how to work.
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Creativity = Motivation
Are you ever tired of nagging your children to help with the chores? Are you feeling overwhelmed with a messy home with not-so-helpful children to assist with the cleanup job? You and your children need some creativity to get motivated! Every few months I pull out the "cooperation scavenger hunt" or "scavenger clean-up race" to get the job done with some fun, competition and of course, a reward at the end. Here's how it's done:
Create a list of 10-15 things that each member of the family needs to do based on what jobs need to be accomplished. Example: Pick up 10 pieces of trash, empty a garbage can, fold 20 items of clothing, make a bed, vacuum a room of the house, empty 10 dishes in the dishwasher, .... get the idea? Give everyone their own list and pencil to cross off the task as it's completed.
Make it a race, or not. Pair up some children (maybe two that haven't been getting along) or do it solo. Create a special prize for the winner and then a treat for all those who participated joyfully. Or, have a family reward at the end. Set a time limit for extra motivation. There's nothing like setting the timer to get children moving more quickly! Here's our family's latest list:
Create a list of 10-15 things that each member of the family needs to do based on what jobs need to be accomplished. Example: Pick up 10 pieces of trash, empty a garbage can, fold 20 items of clothing, make a bed, vacuum a room of the house, empty 10 dishes in the dishwasher, .... get the idea? Give everyone their own list and pencil to cross off the task as it's completed.
Make it a race, or not. Pair up some children (maybe two that haven't been getting along) or do it solo. Create a special prize for the winner and then a treat for all those who participated joyfully. Or, have a family reward at the end. Set a time limit for extra motivation. There's nothing like setting the timer to get children moving more quickly! Here's our family's latest list:
Working together is fun and rewarding. It's much better than doing it by yourself! Add some creativity and it's even better!! Do you have an idea for creative motivation? I'd love to hear it!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Want it now? Get it later!
In the ever-growing age of "want-it-now... gotta-have-it now", it's up to us as parents to teach the importance of working towards and saving for a goal, not giving our children what they want with no investment on their part. A few years ago, our 8 year old son (5 years old at the time), wanted a scooter. I told him that if he really wanted a scooter, he could work hard and earn one. We created a chart consisting of squares worth 50 cents per job. The number of squares coincided with the amount of the scooter. Whenever he wanted to do an extra money job he put an X on the square and when all squares were marked, he was given the money to buy his scooter. He recorded his earnings, paid his church donation and then we purchased his scooter.
(Visit www.sticktoitcharts.com/products.html for a money-tracking system that really works!)
It was a fabulous teaching time for him; he was at the wondrous age where children are so curious about money. They have the capacity to understand that items cost money (they just don't show up) and that money has to be earned through hard work, not just taken out of Mom's wallet. He did extra jobs for two months to earn that scooter and after accomplishing his goal, he had such a sweet sense of satisfaction and success. Not only did he enjoy his scooter, he took care of it. He worked so hard to get it...he didn't want anything to happen to it. Something that's hard to acquire is hard to forget.
A few months ago, this same child wanted an alarm clock. He wanted to be like his older siblings. We gave him the same option as the scooter. See his chart below:
Again, he was consistent and diligent and earned his alarm clock. This concept is one that when learned at a young age, will pay off greatly when children are older. With age, the price tag of the desired item becomes greater, and if they expect Mom and Dad to cough up the dough, well, prepare your wallet now. Or, try the want it now, work for it and get it later approach. It works wonders.
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Report!
I have to credit this blog post to my super-supportive husband. He started the reporting system in our household years ago to teach our children that the job's never done until you've reported back to the one who gave it to you. Whenever he gives our children a task to do, he finishes it with "... and report."
Example: Sam is super helpful at bedtime. Here's something you might hear: "Go get in the shower, pajamas, teeth, prayers and report."
Child: "Dad, reporting."
He's trained our children to do the task and then report back. Not only does he know that the job is complete, but more important, the child feels accountable to someone (Dad), making the likelihood of the assignment really being finished much greater.
So, he's rubbing off on me. The other day I said, "Spencer...get dressed, make your bed, sort the laundry and report." He smiled, did the task, came back and said, "Reporting, Mom". It was awesome!
NOTE: Sometimes it's best to give one task, have the child report and then assign the next, especially when the child is younger. Too many tasks at once can be overwhelming. Plus, I have a few forgetful ones.
Reporting...try it!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Example: Sam is super helpful at bedtime. Here's something you might hear: "Go get in the shower, pajamas, teeth, prayers and report."
Child: "Dad, reporting."
He's trained our children to do the task and then report back. Not only does he know that the job is complete, but more important, the child feels accountable to someone (Dad), making the likelihood of the assignment really being finished much greater.
So, he's rubbing off on me. The other day I said, "Spencer...get dressed, make your bed, sort the laundry and report." He smiled, did the task, came back and said, "Reporting, Mom". It was awesome!
NOTE: Sometimes it's best to give one task, have the child report and then assign the next, especially when the child is younger. Too many tasks at once can be overwhelming. Plus, I have a few forgetful ones.
Reporting...try it!
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Consistency...It's the Key!
I've been trying to think of a word that completely describes what parents can do to raise "stick-to-it" kids. Consistency! Let me give an example:
I made 15 bean soup with bread the other night for dinner. My younger children seem to have the tendency to eat the things they want to eat and skip the food that "looks yucky". (My older children were the same way but because of CONSISTENCY, there is no issue with them.) I've learned over the years to give them the "yucky" item first and once that's eaten or at least given a chance, they are given the bread or fruit or whatever it may be. Getting back to dinner...my three year old son didn't want to eat his soup. He wanted bread! I told him after he ate his soup he could have his bread. Of course he fussed about it but I stuck to my guns. I was in the kitchen pouring drinks when I turn around and there is my little boy eating bread, not soup. The sneaky little guy that he is, he snatched a piece of bread when I wasn't looking. Now, here's the moment of truth: Do you let him keep the bread and say oh well, snicker a bit at how sneaky he is or slightly scold but let him keep it, OR take it away and say he can have it when he finishes or makes a significant effort to eat his soup? I did the latter. Yes, he cried. Yes, it interrupted our dinner time, but I explained that he could have it back after he ate his soup. Guess what....he ate his soup. He sat there nicely and ate bite after bite until it was gone and then he asked for his bread of which I was more than happy to give him.
The bread is not the issue. Obedience is the issue. Training your child to follow instructions is the issue. Next time, he'll know he can't have his bread until his soup's gone and more importantly, that I WON'T CAVE OR GIVE IN, that I'll be CONSISTENT, and the battle will not be as tough as it was the first time. Over time, it will be easier until it is no longer an issue. This principle can be applied to any aspect of parenting.
It may seem like a small thing, but it trains the child to be obedient, which is the first step to responsibility, dependability, honesty, reliability...basically, being a "stick-to-it" child. Your consistency as a parent, if used properly, will bear children who are consistent. What a fabulous notion!
More to come...but until then, Stick-to-it!
I made 15 bean soup with bread the other night for dinner. My younger children seem to have the tendency to eat the things they want to eat and skip the food that "looks yucky". (My older children were the same way but because of CONSISTENCY, there is no issue with them.) I've learned over the years to give them the "yucky" item first and once that's eaten or at least given a chance, they are given the bread or fruit or whatever it may be. Getting back to dinner...my three year old son didn't want to eat his soup. He wanted bread! I told him after he ate his soup he could have his bread. Of course he fussed about it but I stuck to my guns. I was in the kitchen pouring drinks when I turn around and there is my little boy eating bread, not soup. The sneaky little guy that he is, he snatched a piece of bread when I wasn't looking. Now, here's the moment of truth: Do you let him keep the bread and say oh well, snicker a bit at how sneaky he is or slightly scold but let him keep it, OR take it away and say he can have it when he finishes or makes a significant effort to eat his soup? I did the latter. Yes, he cried. Yes, it interrupted our dinner time, but I explained that he could have it back after he ate his soup. Guess what....he ate his soup. He sat there nicely and ate bite after bite until it was gone and then he asked for his bread of which I was more than happy to give him.
The bread is not the issue. Obedience is the issue. Training your child to follow instructions is the issue. Next time, he'll know he can't have his bread until his soup's gone and more importantly, that I WON'T CAVE OR GIVE IN, that I'll be CONSISTENT, and the battle will not be as tough as it was the first time. Over time, it will be easier until it is no longer an issue. This principle can be applied to any aspect of parenting.
It may seem like a small thing, but it trains the child to be obedient, which is the first step to responsibility, dependability, honesty, reliability...basically, being a "stick-to-it" child. Your consistency as a parent, if used properly, will bear children who are consistent. What a fabulous notion!
More to come...but until then, Stick-to-it!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Stick-to-it!
I'm trying to be a stick-to-it Mom...trying to raise stick-to-it kids. Stick-to-it? Responsible, dedicated, full of integrity, trusted, dependable, motivated, self-disciplined, reliable - shall I go on? It isn't easy in this world of Me, Me, Me - Now, Now, Now. But it can be done.
We need to start with ourselves. Before we can have stick-to-it kids, we need to be stick-to-it mom's. We need to be the example we want our children to be. I need to be responsible. I need to be dependable. I need to be motivated and self-disciplined. For example, how can we expect to have children who are reliable if we ourselves are not reliable?
My mother is the ultimate Stick-to-it Mother. My quick definition above describes her so well. As a child, I knew she would make the potato salad I was supposed to bring to the youth barbecue. I knew she would pick me up when she said she would. She instilled in me a desire to be responsible, to do what I said I'd do, to work hard and so many other things I can't possibly list. She passed that along to me. And so it goes...
Children have a yearning for direction and discipline. They need to be taught the rules, the values, the expectations and have experiences to practice and live them. I've been in the child-rearing trenches for 17 wonderful years. 8 children later, I'm still ever-learning. By no means do I have all the answers nor the perfect children because there is no such thing. But I'm proud to say we're winning the stick-to-it war. Each moment, each day is a little battle. As we parents plan, strategize, instruct and train these little people with love, we will win a great war - raising productive children with character and virtue, in spite of the negative influences of the world. What a marvelous responsibility we have in preparing our children for the many aspects of life!
We all need a little help once in a while. That's what Stick-to-it Charts is all about; a place for ideas, a source for tools, a morale booster for parents.
More to come, but until then...Stick-to-it!!
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