A Woman's Perspective of Fathers and Sons

Zippity doo dah, Zippity aye,
My oh my what a wonderful day
Plenty of sunshine coming my way,
Zippity doo dah, Zippity aye. 

"Song of the South"

Because I'm a woman, and a wife, and a mother, my Raising Stick-to-it Kids Blog is naturally written from that perspective. I tend to be a blog-hog when it comes to my thoughts and ideas for raising stick-to-it kids. However, here's my chance to focus on the relationship between Father and Son.

A few weeks ago, Sam took our three youngest sons to a Fathers and Sons event sponsored by our church - an overnight camping trip in the canyon. What a wonderful opportunity to spend time together and learn some great lessons!

First lesson learned: Camping trips take a lot of work!
In our home, if an activity is taking place, all hands on deck. It's not Mom and Dad getting everything ready while the children veg on Game Cube or the iPad. EVERYONE, even the four year old, is involved. Assignments are given and hard work is expected. Fun times don't just magically occur. It takes planning, preparation, organization, and work to pull it off. Want to have fun? Get in on the prep work to make it happen. While preparing for this Fathers and Sons event, we had some complaining and griping. Certain someones weren't entirely thrilled about finding the flashlight or taking the tent out of the storage bag to be sure the poles and stakes are there. It was a good opportunity to discuss the above, and to stick to our expectations. Hopefully next time, the grumps will be non-existent. Wishful thinking?

Second lesson already learned: Pre-cook the tin foil dinners!
We have learned from experience that although in foil dinners are delicious, filling, and extremely satisfying on a camping trip, they take FOREVER to cook in a fire. Our solution - cook them in the oven BEFORE you leave. Nothing is worse than getting to the campsite, setting up all the gear, and realizing the potatoes and carrots in your tin foil dinner are still hard after sitting in the coals forever. So, the men left at 5PM with hot tin foil dinners. When they were ready to eat at 7:30, the food was still warm, cooked, and delicious. (Yes, I made them.) Some may say that it takes some of the fun out of it. Whomever those people are must have all the time in the world and no hungry kids whining at them.

Third lesson learned: Learn to setup the tent!
When my guys came home, one son expressed some frustration in having to help setup the tent. Here's how the conversation went...

"My friends didn't have to setup the tent...their Dads just did it." 

I asked him, "Why do you think Dad had you help setup the tent?"

"Because he's blind?"

"That's not the main reason. What's the real reason?"

"So we learn to do it?"

"YES!!!!"

Well, it's not just to learn how to setup a tent. Lesson number one comes into play here, too. It's the "all hands on deck" mentality. Hard work is expected and fun times follow.

Not our tent, but these guys sure helped!

Fourth lesson learned: Don't drink multiple cans of soda before bedtime!
Before retiring for the night, they all made a bathroom stop. After settling in their sleeping bags, our youngest son declared that he had to go again. Great! Dad had everyone get up again so there would be no chance of another child having to use the facilities. 4AM rolled around. He had to go again. Wow! Dad had everyone get up again to make the trek to the restroom. We don't drink soda on a regular basis at our house. Instead, we use it as a privilege for special times. Was it worth it boys?

Their friend all night long

 Fifth lesson learned: Have a zip line at every camping trip!
The zip line was the highlight of the Fathers and Sons outing. They truly could have come away with singing:  

Zippity doo dah, Zippity aye,
My oh my what a wonderful day!

All the boys, even Dad, went down several times and loved every minute of it!

Sixth Lesson Learned: Just do it, even if you're not feelin' it.
The thought of spending a night in a tent, in the mountains, is not my husband's idea of a good time. When he hears the yearly announcement for Fathers and Sons, he isn't exactly jumping up and down. However, he has learned to just go with it, even if it's not his thing. He does it for our boys, he does it to spend time with them, and to create memories. And oh, what memories they created!

A great Fathers and Sons Camping Trip!

And that's my perspective of the annual Fathers and Sons adventure. How'd I do, boys?

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Write-Downable of the Week: Stick-out Ears

Grateful for Write-Downables!

Write-Downable (n) 

"A statement that is cute, funny, priceless, sensitive, loving, one-of-a-kind, sweet, or spiritual; a word, phrase, sentence, or story that touches the heart of another and is deemed worthy to write down, thus recorded forever and not forgotten."

Word Created By: The Bushman Family

Definition By: Julie Bushman

Write-Downable of the Week:

 

"Did you know snakes have holes in their heads to hear? They don't have stick-out ears." (8)

 

Love the JOY this sweet girl brings to our family!!

We have "stick-out ears", but I'm afraid they don't quite stick out enough. Ever heard the phrase, "You have two ears and one mouth...use them proportionally!" Listening to our children should be the order of the day, not lecturing, telling, commanding, criticizing, or convincing. 

 

Sometimes, I find myself half-listening when my children talk to me. Yes, I'm "hearing" them talk, but I'm not internalizing the message because my thoughts are elsewhere. I know I'm missing out on hidden messages that could let me in to their life and heart. So, I'm trying to do better. When one of my children is talking to me, my goal is to clear my mind of all other thoughts, look at her and really listen to the message.This is one way to be a better stick-to-it Mom!

 

Let's use those stick-out ears to not only hear, but really listen. Frankly, I'm grateful for stick-out ears, 'cause I really wouldn't want to look like a snake!

More to Come....but until then, Stick-to-it!

Victory with a Vacuum

Grateful for broken vacuum belts

Last night the carpet was full of crumbs, strings, bits of paper, and crushed leaves - all from one day's worth of living. Even though it was 9PM, I couldn't stand it; I had to get out the vacuum. 

Tip: Do you ever sweep the space between the carpet and the baseboards to get out all the junk that accumulates there? My mother in law taught me this trick and it works marvelously! No need to get out the canister vac, bend or kneel down to clean up the dusty bluckyness. Just sweep it away from the wall and vacuum it up. 

While vacuuming last night, a VERY loud sound ensued. Definitely not normal! I turned the vacuum over then turned it on to see if the roller was spinning. Nope! One of two things - either the belt slipped off or broke. Lovely...I really didn't need this! Because I've owned an Oreck since practically Day 1 of marriage, I'm a vacuum belt replacement expert. The quick fix can be a less than five minute exercise.

I obtained the necessary screwdriver and was about to begin when my eleven year old saw the tool. "Can I do it, can it do it?"

I could see what was coming. He'll unscrew the chamber that holds the belt, and then he'll want to change it, too. It was late and I just wanted to do it myself. However, I quickly realized that this was a teaching moment and I couldn't let it slip away. I don't think any of my brothers knew how to change a vacuum belt until they were married. Well, maybe they don't even know now. Sorry guys!!

So, the process of checking the vacuum belt commenced with my cute guy at my side. That quickly switched to three boys by my side. Our six year old was sad that he couldn't unscrew the screw; I told him he could screw it back in when we were finished. He ran off to get his own tool set that he received for his birthday. My thirteen year old son sat by watching and processing since he has always had a fascination with how things work.

After removing the cover, we quickly determined that the belt broke and needed replacing. #11 slipped the new belt over the wheel and tried with all his might to stretch it over the metal rod, using a screw driver for leverage. He just couldn't do it.

Slipping the belt onto the wheel

Stretching the belt with the screw driver

Big brother is patiently waiting and watching

#13 was begging inside for a turn to prove his manliness. The task was turned over to him and within five minutes, he had the belt secured. 

Belt secured!

Belt Positioned Correctly

And just as promised, #6 screwed the belt compartment closed with his very own screwdriver!

So excited for the opportunity!

Making sure he pushes in and turns so he doesn't strip the screw.

You know the best part? Three boys now know the process of replacing the vacuum belt. Do you think I will ever have to change the vacuum belt again? I don't think so. Fifteen minutes with three boys vs. five minutes by myself is worth the extra ten minutes because now they're empowered with knowledge. How many minutes will they save me in the future? Plus, it was a tender teaching time. As they get older, those sweet moments start to dwindle so we need to take full advantage. Also, the teaching goes both ways. I was taught a serious lesson last night. #6 also had to show me how to put down the blade of a pocket knife yesterday. Wow!

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: If there's something you can teach, take the time to do it. It will pay off big time...no more belt changes for me! 

A working vacuum again, thanks to boys and tools

More to Come....but until then, Stick-to-it!

October Theme - Be Grateful

"Look for the Sunlight in the Clouds"

Gordon B. Hinckley

This week kicks off the first month of our Family Theme, Way to Be, based on the book, Way to Be - 9 ways to be happy and make something of your life by Gordon B. Hinckley. The month of October is geared toward the principle, Be Grateful, perfect for leading up to Thanksgiving. We spent Monday night reading the chapter from the book, Be Grateful, and discussing things we can do all month to be more grateful. Here are a few things we came up with:

1. Gratitude Quotes - We chose three quotes from the chapter to be the monthly memorization. We are encouraging everyone in the family to memorize them. Prizes are awarded for participation.

"There are two little words in the English language that perhaps mean more than all others. They are 'thank you'."

"Let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless your days and nights. Work at it. You will find that it will yield wonderful results."

"Look for the sunlight in the clouds."

2. Gratitude for Eachother - We created a sign for each person in the family that says, "I am grateful for _____ because:. The goal is to fill up each person's page by the end of the month, stating specific things we're grateful for. When one is grateful for another, service ensues and love follows. I'm hoping for more love in our home! Each family member wrote on every page before refreshments were served. Love those no bake cookies!

3. Gratitude for others - I've always been a big thank you note person, thanks to my Mama. I've shared my thoughts before (read all about it) so I won't go into detail. However, I will stress the importance of expressing thanks often, and thank you notes are the perfect way to do so. This month we have a goal to write 100 thank you notes as a family to show gratitude for the many, many people whom have blessed our lives. When a note is written, it is recorded on a square in the below chart.

4. Examples of Gratitude in the Scriptures - For our family devotional each night, our scripture readings are geared around gratitude and thankfulness. I've enjoyed researching these and recording my thoughts. It's very rewarding when the children come up with their own as well.

5. Words of Thanks - We'd like to learn to say thank you in many different languages. We're reinforcing the children's song, Children All Over the World

Other ideas are in the works which we may or may not implement. I don't want to be too overboard, because I have a great desire for our family to be successful with those things that we introduce this month.

I'm grateful for the inspiration I received for our family theme for 2012/2013. I'm grateful for a supportive husband and children who are taking it seriously. 

I'm grateful to you for reading my blog. Now, go out and Be Grateful!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Be a Hero in 15 Minutes

Gratitude for Duck Tape and Velcro

Flag Football has been "the thing" at our house. Even the little girls want to get in on the action. Our children have been getting together with our neighbor's kids for some fabulous flag football fun. However, there was one problem a few days ago. The neighbor kids had the flag kit and they couldn't play because they were not available. What to do?

The kids were mopey and bummed out. Mom got out her creative cap and said, "Why don't you make your own?" They looked at me as if I did not have a brain. "How do we do that?"

It was as simple as duck tape and sticky velcro. Fifteen minutes later, they all had a belt and flags made and were outside playing together.

This is the stuff I love to see. My thoughts that day: "Get away from the TV and the computer. Communicate, Create, and Cooperate. Oh, and have a fabulous time doing it! But will you please wear your shoes next time?"

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Spend some time assisting your child with a task important to him/her. You'll be a hero in his eyes and he'll feel extremely valued - all in 15 minutes. You may just end up with lots of thank yous and hugs, too. That's the best part!

PS - Thank you to the duck tape and velcro for bringing joy to our family.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Write-Downable of Last Week

Write-Downable (n) 

"A statement that is cute, funny, priceless, sensitive, loving, one-of-a-kind, sweet, or spiritual; a word, phrase, sentence, or story that touches the heart of another and is deemed worthy to write down, thus recorded forever and not forgotten."

Word Created By: The Bushman Family

Definition By: Julie Bushman

Write-Downable of Last Week:

Our older daughter complained to her little sister, "I have a headache. What should I do?"

4 Year Old: "Ummmm....put a bandaid on it."

She has all the answers!

Simple answers! Even though a bandaid is not the simple answer to a headache, many parenting issues can be resolved with simple answers...a hug, listening, validation, gentleness, love, discussion, communication, prayer, desire. What's the common thread? TIME. Kids don't need money or the latest toy or a new outfit to feel important or loved. They need Time. It's as simple as that.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Good Intent Becomes Success

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God"  D&C 109:8

I really like to be organized, but it doesn't always "stick". Why? Oh, reasons like it takes too much time, laziness, other things come up that take time away, bad habits, priorities, or the system just doesn't work. I've gone through times of excitement when I come up with a new system to organize the closet, or the desk, or the socks, or the plastic containers in the kitchen. Good intentions should be my mantra. I really do have them, but the a fore mentioned reasons seem to turn good intentions into non-existence. 

We have ten people in our family. Thus, laundry is a mammoth undertaking. I won't get started on the philosophy that a washing machine and dryer caused us to have more clothes as a society which now makes the laundry task completely time-consuming. If I did it all at once (which I do not), it would take a complete 14 hour day, just like it did the Bostonian women of the 1700s when they dedicated every Monday to laundry day. It's no different for us. We just have more dirty clothes to deal with. And compared to the days of old, our clothes aren't even that dirty. OK - I'll stop now.

Back to organizing.... there is one organizational system that has NOT gone by the wayside. I have successfully used it for years, and it has kept my laundry room running efficiently. (If the darn washing machine and dryer could just go faster, this part of my family responsibilities would really be in control. Maybe some day I'll have a second dryer! Now that would be a blessing!!) It's my laundry-sorting system that keeps clothes organized into colors, avoiding piles of clothes on the floor or sorting through multiple dirty clothes baskets to find enough whites to make a full load.

Six separate baskets keep clothes sorted and organized.

Labeled signs let all ages know which clothes go where.

It consists of six tall laundry hampers, labeled with names and pictures to distinguish what type of clothing belongs where. I separate the clothes into Darks, Lights, Whites, Jeans, Towels, and Bedding.

Our family laundry process goes like this:

One person is the designated "gatherer and sorter". He or she gathers all of the dirty laundry from each room, takes it down to the laundry room, and sorts it into the above laundry hampers. This is supposed to be a daily occurrence. Note the word "supposed". Even my four year old knows which clothes go where. No, she can't read yet, but she looks at the pictures and deposits the clothes into the correct bin. I've even seen her match up the clothing color to the color square on the sign to make sure she gets it right.

Since I'm the only one home during the day that is old enough to start laundry, I'm the designated one to wash and dry. Once the clothes are dry, I recruit all available troops to fold. Each person puts away their own piles of clean laundry.

Looking at my signs, I think it's time to upgrade; we need some new clip art and an upgraded font! Who says the laundry room has to be boring and drab?

That's my successful, organizational system for handling the immense volume of dirty laundry in the Bushman home. I'll give myself a pat on the back for actually "sticking" to it. It feels good to be organized in one area of my life, even if it's just dealing with dirty clothes. Now I just need to come up with a scheme for those sneaky and scrupulous socks. Any ideas?

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!