Sabbath Thoughts: Playing our Part

"Do your part; do all you can do, and see what happens, inside and out"

Moi

Each part in a play is vital to the story. Playing the role well is essential for the success of the production. If one does not perform to her true level of talent, it is felt or seen by the audience. But truly, it is the inner-self that suffers. Playing the part and doing it well brings outward blessings of applause, standing ovations and whistles, as well as inward blessings of contentment, peace, gratitude, and happiness. I hope to relate these thoughts with two stories:

1. Years ago my son and his friend had their bikes parked outside of a friend's home. When they went outside to ride, they were gone. Distraught and upset, my son came home with the story of what happened. He had worked long and hard to save the money for that bike and now it was gone. We drove around the neighborhood a little bit to look for it. We prayed. We didn't have much hope that it would be found. We didn't call the police because we felt there was little they could do but file a report and hope that the bike got turned in. Pretty much, we called it a loss.

Two days later my son received a call from his friend that their bikes had been found. The friend went the extra effort, doing all he could do, to call the police and file a report. Because they did so, when the bikes were miraculously found by the police, stashed in some bushes, they were able to match up the bikes to the report and call the owners, two thirteen year old boys. Because my son's friend did his part, they were both able to receive the outward and inner blessings. This was a lesson learned for all of us. Go the extra mile, take the extra step, play the part to the best of your ability and see what happens. Do all you can do!

2. My sister told me the following story: "I headed to DI (like Salvation Army) early this morning to try to locate my daughter's $300 orthotics that were in a pair of shoes we gave away on Monday. The people there were not very hopeful that we would find them. But after searching through bins and bins and bags and bags of shoes, I miraculously found them! Hooray!" My sister played the part of my son's friend, taking the extra step, playing the part well, to locate the orthotics. The workers played the role of my family, thinking it was a lost cause, doubtful and without hope. Because she did her part, she not only saved her family $300, but taught them a lesson, as well. When we do our part, miracles happen.

No, success stories like the above will not always happen. For one reason or another, we may not find something that is lost, a test score may not be as high as we'd like, a job may not be received, or an opportunity may not arise. However, one thing is certain...if you don't perform the part well, doing all you can do, there is no room for the outward blessings to come...If the police report wasn't filed, the bike would not have been found. If she didn't look for the orthotics, they would have been permanently lost. The inward blessings of gratitude and peace are felt when true effort takes place.The Lord wants us to do our part and teach our children to do the same. 

This truly relates to Christ's Atonement for all of us. When we do all that we can to live according to His commandments, He steps in and takes care of the heartaches, disappointments and frustrations that we encounter in this life. He brings the contentment, peace and happiness that comes with playing our part in the story.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Show Me: A Mean Mom Moment

Sing me no song, read me no rhyme

Don't waste my time, show me

Please don't implore, beg on the seats

Don't make all the speech, show me...

...Please don't explain, show me, show me

Michael Ball - "Show Me"

I witnessed a "Mean Mom Moment" a few weeks ago. Well, I didn't really witness it; I heard about it. I felt like doing the old Piedmont High cheer - Be Impressive, B-E Impressive. B-E-I-M-P-R-E-S-S-I-V-E! Truly, I was impressed by how she handled the situation!

Her son wanted to go see the new Harry Potter movie for his birthday. They agreed to take him when the time came. Being how many almost-eleven-year-old boys can be, he was giving her fits that week...teasing, arguing, complaining, and disobedient. This is how she responded to the behavior:

"Your behavior tells me you don't want to go see the movie. You need to show me that you want to see the movie. Until then, we're not going."

She then proceeded to tell him that he needed to spend the next week "showing" that he wants to go see Harry Potter...be appreciative, respectful, kind, helpful, and obedient. 

Show Me!

I LOVE that!! Seeing the movie is a privilege, not a right. Until you show me with proper behavior that you want that privilege, it's out the window. Actions determine consequences, positive or negative.

Thanks for "showing me" a new perspective on behaviors and privileges! I eat up those Mean Mom Moments!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

The Creative Cap and the Triple E's

Creativity

The ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like,  

and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.;  

originality, progressiveness, or imagination

"Oh, hello there. I'm Joe..."

"...and I'm Bill."

"And together, we're the Geek Squad."

 

 

I LOVE it when my children put on their creative caps and explore their imagination; the wonder and excitement of being a child knows no bounds. For certain children, the cap doesn't come on very often so I like to Encourage, Experience and Enjoy whenever it does!

Encourage

Whenever you see the creativity start to creep out, milk it. Encourage it by telling them to do it again, and again, and again. Get out the camera, start videoing; whatever it takes to keep it going.

 

Experience 

You never know when they'll put on their cap, so stop whatever you are doing and experience the show. Curl up on the couch, gather everyone around, actively observe, and FEEL their passion for their latest and greatest comedy routine. 

 

Enjoy  

Laugh, laugh and cry at the same time, smile, applaud, or give a standing ovation. Truly enjoy the moment because the moments don't come very often, especially as they get older.

 

I captured a moment on video the other day...

 

Three cousins composed and wrote their own song!

Creativity: a power that allows you to be a kid, even when you're not. Yes, Mom can be creative, too!

"There's a hole in the bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza"

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Turn an "I don't know" into an "I know how"

I ask him to cut the lettuce. 

"I don't know how."

I ask him to grate the carrots.

"I don't know how."

Have I taught you anything??

When I hear the words, "I don't know how", I tend to do a double take and think, "Really?? How have you grown up in this house without knowing how to do BASIC things?" Truthfully, I think many times it's a cop-out.

Child: "Hmmm, if I tell Mom I don't know how, maybe she'll let me off the hook."

Mom: "Wrong! That's my cue to put you to work and make sure you know how!"

Other times it could be a cry out for attention; spend time with me, teach me something, hold my hand, lead me, guide me.

Some of the "I don't know how!" examples I've encountered lately:

• While fixing dinner, I strive to always have a helper - someone to wash, chop, measure, pour, stir...something to give me another set of hands to get the meal on the table more quickly. Yesterday, I asked my ten year old son to help me grate the carrots. Yes, I got the response and yes, I showed him how and put him to work.  Next, I asked him to chop the lettuce. "I don't know how". How can this be? How many times has he seen me chop lettuce? So, I stopped what I was doing and showed him in detail how to chop the lettuce. 

Yes! Someone else to do this job!

The Proof: He CAN grate carrots!

• My daughter is looking for a job to pay for college. I told her she needed to create a resume. "I don't know how!" Legitimate. She has never had to look for a job before, thus never needing a resume. We spent an afternoon compiling an amazing looking resume for one just graduated from high school. Now she just needs to find the job - another "I don't know how" syndrome. 
• My son just opened his first bank account with his first check book. "Mom, I don't know how to write a check." Here we go again...It just seems like yesterday that I was teaching our first child about check writing, debit cards and bank accounts. Round Two!
• "Mom, how do I do this math problem, how do I get a picture into my Word file,  how do I download this attachment from gMail, I don't know what to say when I call, I don't know where to look for used books, I don't know how to tie my shoes, how do I spell..."

 There's always going to be an "I don't know how!" Let's be sure we do our best as parents to turn an "I don't know" into an "I know how!"

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Whether they like it or not!

Whether the weather be fine or whether the weather be not,

Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot,

We'll weather the weather, whatever the weather,

Whether we like it or not.

Author Unknown

This is dedicated to my family and friends on the East Coast who weathered the weather, whether they liked it or not. So glad that everyone was safe and virtually unaffected!

I do enjoy this little poem; it's one that all of my children have memorized while learning to read. Hearing quality poems, literature and songs from my children's mouths is much more enjoyable than ridiculous, nonsensical ditties that children bring home from school or the neighborhood social hour. "I see London, I see France" does not belong in our family's repertoire. Yes, they probably know it but I don't want to hear it! Let's encourage more elevated thoughts and vocabulary in our homes!

Looks like we'll be weathering some hot weather today. However, it's better than a hurricane. Wait, by the looks of my house right now, it may have just have been hurricane-struck! Do I need to start singing: Clean-up, Clean-up, everybody, everywhere. Clean-up, Clean-up, everybody do your share? Don't like the ditty, but I like the concept...whether they like it or not!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Sabbath Thoughts: You and We NOT I and Me

I want that one. No, I want that one.

I had that first. No, I had that first.

Sound familiar? Listening to my children fight over Playmobile pieces on Sunday morning gave me the desire to talk to them about You and We verses I and Me. "I" can be such a selfish word, one that sends focus internally rather than externally. "Me" is a similar thing. Reminds me of that Country Song, "I Wanna Talk about Me.... Me, me, me, me, me, me, me." "You" on the other hand, turns the focus towards others, encouraging service and concern for someone else. "We" is plural and denotes cooperation, working together, synergy, and getting along. 

So, back to the Playmobil playing. He wanted a certain piece. She wanted it too. Can't we focus on You and We? I encouraged them to think of the other (You) rather than yourself (I). Isn't it more fun to play together (We) rather than feel selfish by yourself (Me)? It helped! They compromised and worked things out. 

One might say to allow children to work out their problems themselves. However, the scriptures tell us that parents should not suffer their children to fight and quarrel with one another.

I had another thought about You and We verses I and Me. When we have struggles in life, confrontations or quarrelings with another, Satan encourages us to focus on I and Me; the world teaches to look out for number one. However, Jesus Christ is our partner (we). He was the perfect example of service (you) and through His atonement, WE can overcome faults, sadness, fear, loss, temptation, and sorrow.

Let's pick our pronouns carefully...You and We, not I and Me.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

The POWER of the Money-Maker

The Lawn Mower = Essential equipment to teenage boys earning money. 

Broken Lawn Mower = Empty Pockets

Taking it to the Shop = Even Emptier Pockets

Fixing it Yourself = Knowledge, Self-Reliance, Money Saved

When the lawn mower is broken, there are two unhappy boys at our house, for the lawn mower is their "money-maker". Unfortunately, it broke down this month, and they fretted for a bit. However, they turned their fretting into positive action; got out the manual, discovered the part they needed, ordered it online, waited not-so-patiently for it to arrive in the mail, and installed the part. 

Fixing the "Money-Maker"

Ta-da! Working lawn mower for $18.62, including shipping.Congratulations, boys. Way to take action and solve the problem!

Self-Reliant:relying on oneself or on one's own powers, resources, etc.

www.dictionary.com

Self Reliance applies to so many areas in our lives: finances, employment, education, preparation, skills, hobbies, health, food, and home-maintenance, just to name a few. Teaching our children the valuable principle of building and strengthening self-reliance will serve them well right now AND in the future.

A few ideas for encouraging self-reliance:

1. Provide a way, help find a way or encourage a way to earn money based on hard work and performance, not a free ride. Encourage financial discipline and long-term savings. See our Money Management System for a tool to assist with financial success.

2. Value education and encourage hard work and diligence in studying. When children do well in school (providing the ability to get scholarships to college), they are actually getting PAID to do their homework. Instill this philosophy in your child at a young age. Teach them to search out scholarships and apply for everything they can find so they can go to college debt-free.

3. Give your child the opportunity to prepare meals. This not only assures that he won't starve when he leaves home, but educates about food costs, nutrition, and health-management.

4. Involve children in projects around the house and learning new skills. A friend of mine told me about fixing her washing machine with her teenage son, saving hundreds of dollars in repair costs. He is now blessed with that knowledge to help his future family or someone else in need.

5. When looking for employment as a teenager, search out jobs that provide a skill and a learning opportunity. One boy we know works for a construction company and is learning welding skills. Another boy works for a landscaper and is learning to install sprinkler systems. One friend cleans buildings with her parents. These are skills that can be utilized for the rest of their lives!
6. Look for classes available in your area that teach unique skills. My second son took a small engine repair class this summer, learning the ins and outs of mower repair, maintenance and tuning. Now he has the knowledge and ability to earn money performing these services.

7. Hard work leads to more opportunities because hard work is recognized and spoken of. A strong work ethic is DEVELOPED. Start when they're young and have high, but realistic expectations.

8. Be an example of the principles you want your children to embrace!

They may not have super hero powers, but as we "Stick-to-it", our children will be able to rely on their own powers and resources to bless their lives and those around them. 

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!