Parenting in many aspects is all about creativity. Lately, I've been providing creative distractions to stop fighting, name calling, whining and crying. (At the end of some days I feel like crying, too!)
There are some tried and true tricks that I use to distract my children from the negative behavior, thus creating a positive outcome.
1. Singing...it works every time (well, almost every time). My two and four year old have picked up name calling in the car. They are both in car seats on the same bench, and they go back and forth, teasing and teasing and teasing. Remember, they have six older siblings so they've picked it up quickly, unfortunately. I find that if I tell them to stop calling each other names or get upset at them, it keeps up and intensifies. So, I've put on my creative cap to distract them. Singing their favorite songs gets their mind off of it and provides entertainment. Songs with actions are even better; their minds are working overtime to "multitask" - singing and moving at once. Some mothers say they "DO NOT SING". Even if you feel your singing voice isn't worthy of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, sing to your children anyway. It will create good memories for everyone. Some of our current favorites include: Monkeys and the Alligator (I don't know what it's called), 5 Little Monkeys, Eency Weency Spider, Six Little Ducks, Wishy Wishy Washer Woman, Wheels on the Bus, Singing a Song is Fun to Do, Popcorn Popping, Do as I'm Doing, etc.
2. Stories...Children love stories. When they're confined in a car or a restaurant, tell a story. They love stories about themselves, where they're the STAR. You may retell the events of the day or when they were born, or talk about their birthday or talents they have. Insert their name as the hero of any well known children's story. Many times when my children are crying or whining, they just need some extra attention. Often, I stop what I'm doing, sit on the couch with them and read a story. Immediately they're happy and once the story is over, they seem to be fine and go along their merry way.
3. Games...I love games. I love board games. I have fond memories of my Dad playing games with us when we were children. "I Spy" is one of the best. It immediately stops negative behavior. It's a mystery game...one of suspense. "I'm thinking of something" is another one. They don't have to see it like I Spy, just think about what it might be. Create a game at home when they don't want to do a task. Set the timer and see if they can beat it. If they have to clean up, pretend they're shooting baskets or you're a gardener, scooping up leaves. If they don't want to put their clothes away, pretend they're the mail man, delivering a package to their drawers. Add in the phrase "Special Delivery" and it gets them going. Encourage them to be an animal and gallop to brush their teeth or creep like a tiger to go get their pajamas on. For some reason, we think tasks and jobs and requests have to be DONE, not enjoyed. Children can have fun doing tasks they don't want to do - again, it just takes some creativity.
Invest in some quick games - five to ten minute entertainment with no setup or cleanup. I love Bananagrams - my sister introduced us to this one. Announce game time in ten minutes but they need to have this, this and this accomplished first. Watch how quickly their night time routine is done. Another fun game my sister gave us one year for Christmas is Scrabble Slam. My children LOVE this game - it's fast moving and is only a five minute game. Uno is an old faithful. Yahtzee is awesome! Encourage completion of whatever it is they struggle with and reward them with a fun game. (It doesn't have to be an hour long event!)
4. Activities...have your children do jumping jacks when they're restless and unresponsive, run up and down the stairs five times, create an "obstacle course" (my Dad used to do this)...Example: army crawl to the bedroom, pick up 20 things, bunny hop back, empty a trash can, skip down the stairs, do 5 somersaults, fold eight items of laundry, stand on your head for one minute, etc, etc. Notice how I inserted some jobs in there? Always looking for ways to get some work done!! We all have experienced restless children while waiting in line. Play Simon Says. It's a great game to distract for five minutes. Let them be Simon, too. I could go on and on...
5. Music...Turn on their favorite CD in the car or at home. Encourage them to dance and get out the wiggle bugs. Find a children's CD that has lots of action songs. Nap time may be just around the corner!
6. Food...yes, this is obvious; it makes everyone happy. Keep a little stash of whatever makes your children happy and use it when all else fails. One thing I would encourage is have them calm down before you give them treats or food. Use it as a reward for calm behavior, not to calm the behavior.
Last Thought: Lots of hugs never hurt. Also, prayer is the best way to get true inspiration as to how to handle the children we've been blessed with.
Find our what works for you and your children. Have your bag of tricks ready to use when times get tense. Try the positive, creative approach to distract from negative behavior. See the difference in their responses and breathe a sigh of relief!
More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!
