Advice from a Five Year Old

Questions from my Five Year Old:

"Can I go to the baby shower?....Do we have to bring our swimming suits?"

"What's tomorrow?" (Mom: "Sunday") "What's the next tomorrow?"

"Do you have a one buck?"

"Mom, is it slow Sunday or fast Sunday?"

After receiving a Snickers bar from the Tooth Fairy... ""Mom, is this a snicker-doodle?"

Five year olds: they have so many questions...but they definitely have some answers, too!

A new week is upon us and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. We just got back from a business trip to Philadelphia and we're gearing up for more future fun. Responsibilities are calling me, job issues are never-ending, housework is piling up, lots of family fun planned, and children leaving. As I was looking at my photos this morning, I found advice from my five year old staring at me in the face. Here's how to make this week positive, productive, and promising...courtesy of JBB.

When life comes splashing down:

Don't bury yourself in the sand...

Face the fear, face the trial. Don't run from it...

Stand Firm...

And Stand Tall...

Search for Answers...

And for inspiration...

Get a Hug...

And Give a Hug...

Don't Point the Finger at Another...

But Work Together Instead...

Show some Kindness...

Put on your helmet and get ready to roll...

And when you've made it through, RELAX and be GRATEFUL!

And who said a five year old doesn't have all the answers?

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Make the Bed and Save Someone, Too

"Your room is never clean until your bed is made." ~ Mom

Mom, I made my bed this morning - right when I woke up. Aren't you proud of me? Yes, this is a miracle! For years, there always seemed to be a child in the bed when I got up for the day. Some days the bed would get made, other days, not so lucky. 

Things have changed. Children have grown and sleep through the night. No babies right now - our youngest is almost FOUR! It's easy to toss up the covers in the morning... when it's empty.

I do have a bigger incentive to make my bed thanks to some amazing ladies in my life. My mother, sisters, daughters and niece all surprised me for my birthday with a redecorated bed. I was totally surprised when I walked into my bedroom and saw this gorgeous sight...

New sheets, blanket, bed cover, pillows, towels, and pictures

It's very difficult to surprise me, but I must say, I had NO idea!! What a thoughtful and delightful birthday gift. They saw a need and fulfilled it. They gave me a gift that I will always remember, for it was not just a physical gift, but one from the heart! Thank you, thank you for making my birthday so special and giving me something to look forward to every morning...making my bed so I can see this beautiful display daily!

Me and the kids enjoying the new setup!

I wish I had a group bed photo of all those who participated. You know who you are and I love you for who you are!!

Last night in our devotional, we read a General Conference Talk by Elder Rasband called Special Lessons. I love this quote:

"If you come upon a person who is drowning, would you ask if they need help—or would it be better to just jump in and save them from the deepening waters? 

The offer, while well meaning and often given, “Let me know if I can help” is really no help at all."

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Like my family who saw a need and fulfilled it, jump in and save someone today. Don't ask what you can do to help, just do it! By seeing this example, your children will learn and embrace this important lesson as well.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Married...with a "Vision" for Success

Seeing, is not necessarily believing!

Many of you know that my husband is visually impaired and has been since birth. He is speaking this week at a conference for those who have been affected by an inherited retinal degenerative disease called LCA or Leber congenital amaurosis, which is the cause of his blindness. Sam asked me to help with his presentation by speaking about what it's like to be married to a person who is blind. I decided to write my thoughts as a blog post because one, it comes naturally for me and two, recording my feelings for posterity's sake is important to me.

Sam and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. See our early celebration and the actual celebration. 20 years ago, I did not think much about what it would be like to be married to someone with such a limitation. You see, my father was in a wheelchair since he was 16, and so understanding differences was just a part of my life since Day 1.

With Dad at Yellowstone National Park - almost 20 years to the day - 1992

However, I have learned much from being married to Sam, just like any wife would learn from being married to her husband. Every marriage has its struggles and so does every person; no situation or individual is perfect. Just as Sam is visually impaired, I have inadequacies, faults, and weaknesses, too. The following three topics can be applied to everyone:

Accept, Adjust, and Appreciate 

Gratitude for the Can, and the Willingness to Try

Look Back...and Move Forward.

Accept, Adjust, and Appreciate

With any limitation, there is a level of acceptance that must be met to be able to move forward with life.  When our third daughter turned five, we were having a family discussion about Sam's blindness. Our older two children asked, "Dad, do you have a handicap?" This darling, five year old daughter asked, "Where does he keep it?" She was accepting of him!

We all have handicaps or disadvantages that make success in life more difficult. To deny it stifles progression. As our marriage has grown, I have learned to accept the things that Sam can do and those things that are a struggle. I've come to accept that he can't wink at me from across the room or drive me to a surprise location for a date night. However, we can adjust with a hug or a hand hold, and ME driving to a surprise location for a date night as I follow his directions.

20 Years of Accepting, Adjusting, and Appreciating

A spontaneous carriage ride in Salt Lake City

I've come to accept that he does not play basketball with our boys, nor does he formally dance with the girls. But, the adjustments come when he gives advice at the boy's games, is the pep-coach for one of the boy's teams, or when Sam talks basketball day and night with our sons (or so it seems at times). 

The half time pep talk

Team Coaching our younger son's team with our older son

Adjustments are seen when he pleasantly twirls our little girl as he tries to calm her cries, or when he agrees to get his toe nails painted at a Daddy-Daughter Activity.

A natural position for all eight babies!

Sweet times with one of his four princesses!

I've accepted that I need to assist in providing for the family. Thankfully, I am able to work from home which is a tremendous blessing. We adjust, for example, by Dad assisting with organizing the children to take care of their responsibilities while I work on a project.

2004 - Spending time doing dishes together

After accepting and adjusting, appreciate one another for their willingness to accept and adjust. Discover the "love language" of your spouse and show appreciation how he or she would like to see it.


Gratitude for the Can...and the Willingness to Try

As a woman, I want things done a certain way! It's just my nature. Some of my old tendencies included...
I want the towels folded like so.
I want my husband to spend time with the children the way I think it should happen.
I want to spend the evening doing (fill in the blank)...
I want to fix THIS for dinner.
Please don't roll up the toothpaste that way
Discipline our children like this...

And so it goes on. I'm sure I'm still this way in certain areas or with particular issues that mean a lot to me, however, I have changed A LOT! What's the key? Gratitude that my husband can do things and that he is willing to try. A grateful heart is the door to a joyful life. Having joy is much more pleasant than anger or frustration, don't you think?

I'm grateful Sam is willing to dress up for the family Christmas nativity play and to participate in the family pie eating tradition, even though it's out of his comfort zone.

Ridiculous costumes but the best tradition!!

A good sport in the pie-eating contest!

 
I'm grateful Sam can hike up the mountain with a baby on his back, even though he can't see the beauty around him.

Timp Cave Hike - 2004

Moab, UT - 2006

I'm grateful Sam willingly serves his mother by working on her computer, even though he can't
fix the leaking water heater in her basement.

Christmas, 2011

I'm grateful Sam can play with the kids in the sand and the water,even though he can't play frisbee.

Coronado, CA - 2012

Diggin' with Dad - Coronado, 2012

Jumpin' the Waves in Carpenteria, CA - 2012

More Diggin' with Dad in Carpenteria, CA - 2012

I'm grateful Sam was willing to have our eight fabulous children, even though he knew it would be a challenge for him. However, he will join me in saying that the joys far outweigh the challenges.

The Bushman Family - April, 2012

Look Back...and Move Forward

I strongly disagree with the adage, "Don't Look Back"! I believe that looking back provides valuable insight to the future. I like to look back at the lessons learned and the progress made. 

I look back to the memories of the little children learning about Dad's blindness. They would see Dad coming towards them, brace themselves, grab onto his pants and cling for dear life to avoid being flattened. Next, they moved to straight arming Dad to avoid being overrun, but it wasn't always successful. Finally, their progression led to moving out of the way entirely to avoid any contact.  

Safe in the Swing!

I look back to the beautiful experiences of my children learning to help Dad in so many capacities: guiding, finding, assisting, seeing, reading, and serving.

Making sure Dad doesn't crash!

Guiding Dad on a canyon hike

Only encouragement is needed here!

Looking back gives me the desire to move forward! There is much to learn and experience in the future!!

In a blog post, that's what it's like to be married to Sam. With acceptance, gratitude, and optimism, I "see" a grand future for both of us!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Jump 'till you can jump no more!

Tradition: The Baer Family Jumping Competition!

Ahhhh, swimming pool fun at Grandma's Pool! It's become a tradition when my siblings come to visit with their family. Part of this tradition includes the Annual Baer Family Jumping Competition.

Rules of the Game:

Have all participants line up along the side of the pool. Participants are usually divided by age and gender. No, we're not trying to discriminate - just trying to make the most competitive, yet fair structure we can. This year we had two groups. Boys (9-13) and Girls (7-10). The older kids were too cool and the younger kids, too scared.

Determine an announcer and a judge. It's best that the judge is not the father or mother of one of the participants. It helps with the bias factor.

This year's judge - the guy on bottom!

I had fun being the announcer. No picture since I'm the one taking the pictures! 

Object of the Game:

Receive the most points for your jumps into the pool...similar to diving competitions. Here are some of the categories we have used...

Most graceful jump

Jump with the least amount of splash

Most athletic jump

Most original jump

Jump that produces the most splash

The best belly flop (double points)

The farthest jump

The jump that makes the best use of arms and legs

The best cannon ball

The funniest jump

The best hurdle jump

Most patriotic jump

Each category is a round. Every participant takes a turn to do their jump for the specified category. At the end of the round, the judge gives points. 5 for the best, 4 for the next, 3 for the next, etc. Sometimes more than one person gets the same amount of points. The jump-ee keeps track of his own score. The person with the most points wins! Get your creative gear in mind to come up with some really fun categories!

This is a very fun, improv game that takes no advance planning. The kids love coming up with new ideas for jumps that fall into the designated categories. The judge and the announcer laugh and enjoy the faux pas and originality. 

If you really want to have fun with it, plan in advance: Have three or four judges. After each person's jump, the judges put up a number from 1-5. The judges keep score and declare a winner. We haven't taken it that seriously yet but there's always next year! Prizes could be awarded as well. This would be a fun birthday party activity!

Most Original Jump

Best use of arms and legs jump

Most athletic jump

Jump that produces the least amount of splash

Ready for the next category!

Dunk the Judge!

I love FREE, no planning fun, especially activities that are active, social, and away from media! 

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Plan a family jumping competition and let the fun begin. My kids are already begging for another day at Grandma's Pool to jump until they can jump no more.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

California Dreamin' Travel Tips: Part 1

List made? Shopping Complete? Laundry Finished?

Bags Packed? Necessities Gathered? Bills paid? 

Gas in the Car? Lights Off? Doors Locked?

Family Vacations - so much joy, so many memories, yes, some challenges, but it's all worth it! After taking 20 years of family vacations, I've learned a few things that I'd like to share. The following thoughts are for a trip via automobile. Many of the same ideas apply with air transportation as well. However, I do have loads of tips for air travel specifically, which will be saved for another day...

Make a List

Oh, the daunting task of preparing for a family vacation! The list goes on and on so that's why my first suggestion for a successful vacation is to make LISTS. 

• Make a list of your itinerary with addresses, phone numbers, directions, websites, etc. Have this in hard copy as well in case your electronic device gets lost, service is unavailable, something breaks, etc. Preparation is key to a successful trip!
• Make a master list of all items that need to go on the trip...from clothing, shoes, umbrellas, towels, toiletries, camera, chargers - everything! 
• Make a separate list for the children so they can pack their own bags (depending on the age of the child). Include exact number of socks, underwear, outfits, etc. Specify long pants or shorts, long or short sleeved shirts, jackets, etc. Include footwear (boots, flip flops, Sunday shoes, sandals). Add the bathing suit, cover-up, hat, toothbrush, hair accessories. Be specific!!! IMPORTANT: Make sure you check your child's bag (again, depending on the age of the child) to make sure they really packed what they need to pack.
• Make a shopping list for needed supplies, food, sunscreen, ice - anything that needs to be purchased in advance.
• Road trips in the car can be long and arduous. Make a list of products to bring for entertainment: Music, videos, small games, coloring, prizes, treats. If you're going somewhere HOT, beware of bringing crayons and leaving them in the car. They MELT!
• Make a list of all tasks that need to be accomplished before you leave: responsibilities for work, care of the home, pay the bills, service the car, laundry accomplished. Have two lists - one for ABSOLUTES and NICE TO HAVE DONE. 

It takes a while to make your lists but wow, is it a time saver and a stress saver. Your spouse and children can see what needs to be done or what has already been checked off. They can help in gathering and packing. A master list helps the entire family understand the work load that goes into a family trip and is a tool for time efficiency and productivity...not to mention remembering everything you need to do and not forgetting anything you need to take.

NOTE: Make your list on the computer and save it as your master packing list. For each trip, pull it up, make your adjustments, and resave if you wish. Make your lists once and refer back each time you take off. Time Saver!!!

My Travel Essentials:

Small Reclosable Sandwich Bags

Gallon Size Reclosable Bags

Garbage Bags - Large Black and 13 Gallon Kitchen Bags

Plastic bags from your local grocery store - stuffed into a paper towel tube.

Plastic Cups (not Dixie cups! The wax melts in the hot car)

Baby Wipes - TONS of them (even if you don't have a baby)

Paper Towels 

Bottle of 409

Sunscreen

doTerra Essential Oils

Tissue 

First aid kit

Jumper Cables

Flashlight

Bungee Cables

Blankets

Ice Chest 

GPS or similar device

The above items make our family travels so much better. Bags are the BEST and can be used for so many things: dirty clothes, storing food, distributing snacks, garbage bags, puke bags, storing wet clothes and other items, keeping a smelly diaper non-smelly until you can dispose of it properly, carrying things, separating or dividing items, and MORE, MORE, MORE. I have learned to carry a roll of paper towels and some kind of cleaner when we go on a long road trip. I can almost guarantee that someone will have an accident or get sick along the way. Extra blankets are a MUST! Someone is always cold from the AC or the sun is streaming in and a blanket in the window is the perfect solution. The essential oils helped immensely with sun burns, car sickness, headaches, mosquito bites, rug burns, stomach aches, etc.

Packing/Luggage Suggestions:

If self-laundry facilities are available where you're staying, take advantage of it! Pack enough outfits for half of your vacation, plus one, and then plan on washing. You save a lot of space and you come home with mostly clean clothes. This trip, I washed every night when we got home from our activities. It gave me peace of mind to be carrying around CLEAN clothes.  

My kids are not allowed to put their dirty clothes back into their suitcase, except for pajamas. PJ's can be worn several nights without washing. All dirty clothes go into the family laundry bag (note big garbage bags from the list). My older girls like to do their own laundry so they have their own garbage bags.

When my children were little, I used to pack clothing for several children in one suitcase. No more! Everyone has their own bag and it's so much better! Duffel bags for kids work well. They fit better into tighter spaces, car top carriers, trunks, and under seats, than do suitcases. They learn to properly care for their items and to keep them clean and orderly (we hope).

When you only have a one night stop somewhere, pack a bag with the necessities for that one night, instead of hauling up EVERY SINGLE duffel or suitcase. This makes for a quick in and out of a hotel.

Our half way stop to California was Las Vegas where my brother and his family live. We were there on a Sunday and went to church with them. I packed a separate suit case for Sunday clothes only. Once we were finished with church and changed into traveling clothes, all the Sunday clothes went back into the suitcase - not to be accessed for the rest of the trip. One less suitcase to leave in the car!

Fun with Cousins Before Church. The clothes will be put away for the rest of the trip!

Swimming and Beach Travel for our family consists of one giant duffel bag that holds all towels, bathing suits, sunscreen, life vests, flip flops, and other beach necessities. We were able to take this one bag with us and have everything that was needed. I didn't have to worry that we were missing a swimming suit or a pair of flip slops 'cause they were gathered and stored before the trip. A separate inner bag is for items that I don't want to get sandy - camera, video camera, keys, wallet, spare clothes, watches, ipods, etc. This bag does not get opened by anyone that has sandy hands. Yes, I know you go to the beach to get sandy, but there are certain things that I have to keep clean. When it was time to clean up, all wet stuff went in one bag; all sandy flip flops in another. 
Beach Toys: Buy them when you get there. When you're finished with them, throw them away or donate them somewhere. They are so cheap and half of them end up breaking anyway. It's not worth it to me to try and clean them up and tote them home again.

Beach Day #1

One may say that these suggestions are obvious. Maybe they are. But I know that it's taken me 20 years to get it right. If I had this knowledge when we were first starting, I would have avoided a lot of frustration! Stay tuned for Part 2.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!