Be Patient: It Comes Around

"A Chocolate a day keeps the doctor away!"

My Grandmother....Kay Baer

This brings me joy! It's as simple as that!

My mother instilled in me the love for See's Candies since I was a small child. I knew what good chocolate was and there's no comparison. I still remember going with my mom to the little See's store on Lakeshore Ave. in Oakland, California. The cute little ladies in their white and black dresses always tried to give me a sugar stick. I knew better and wanted the real thing!

My grandmother loved chocolate as well and had a big box of See's at every family gathering it seemed. Oh, I couldn't wait for that box to "come around", hoping one of my favorites was still there for the taking.

And so the tradition has come around, passed down to my children who each have their favorite See's chocolate. Whenever I go, I try to bring them back a piece of their favorite choice. One daughter loves Lemon Truffles, another Scotchmallow and Milk Bordeaux. Two children always choose the Milk Cherry Cordial which I can't understand. Daddy has his favorites. The little people don't care; they just want to be remembered. Each feels very special when Mom gives pieces of this little bit of heaven.

Last night my oldest daughter was on a date with her "friend". They had stopped by the mall to pick up some of her favorite See's Candies. This morning she handed me a bag from See's with two of my favorites: A Scotch Kiss and a Bordeaux Bar. I was so touched by her thoughtfulness!!! She remembered the joy she felt upon receiving a special See's from Mom. She has beautifully grown up, showing her maturity by returning the joy to me. 

Love them both, but I love the girl more!!

Motherhood consists of simple joys. This was one of them. Sometimes it takes a while for the me, me, me attitude to shift to you, you, you. Be patient! Just like the box of chocolates....it comes around!


More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Service: A Preparation Ground

"Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need?"

#223 Have I Done Any Good?

Last night I attended a Young Women activity where we discussed preparing for temple marriage. See more about temples, here! 

Family Trip to attend the Brigham City, UT temple open house. Our family is shrinking!

Celebrating a Temple and Celestial Marriage

One of the preparation ideas we discussed was looking outside oneself and practice serving others. Doing this will help prepare for a future family which is the epitome of service. As we spend time in our families serving others, we deepen this desire. When the time comes for our children to marry, they will have a more successful marriage because service is part of them.

We had a marvelous opportunity to serve as a family a few months ago. It is rare when we can get everyone together, especially those busy working and college kids. We came together to serve a friend in need of a kidney transplant. Our family was in charge of a game and the prize booth at a benefit carnival. What a blessing to think of another and have a good time, too!

Setting up the Prizes

Getting his Guess in

The Muscle Power

Ready for the kids to roll in

Five people needed to keep order at the prize booth

They had time to have some fun, too!

My Favorite - The Fish Pond!

Why do kids love this stuff so much?

She won three cakes at the cake walk!

These two boys spent most of their free time at the cake walk, resulting in 1 cake total.

Not a fan of colored hair..but it was for the cause.

Lovin' the blue hair...

...and the cotton candy!

The Ninja Sword - the most exciting find of the night!

I love this story, told by Thomas S. Monson:

"A few years ago I read an article written by Jack McConnell, MD. He grew up in the hills of southwest Virginia in the United States as one of seven children of a Methodist minister and a stay-at-home mother. Their circumstances were very humble. He recounted that during his childhood, every day as the family sat around the dinner table, his father would ask each one in turn, “And what did you do for someone today?” The children were determined to do a good turn every day so they could report to their father that they had helped someone. Dr. McConnell calls this exercise his father’s most valuable legacy, for that expectation and those words inspired him and his siblings to help others throughout their lives. As they grew and matured, their motivation for providing service changed to an inner desire to help others." October, 2009  - What Have I Done for Someone Today?

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Ask your children, "What did you do for someone today?" Create opportunities for service...it's a preparation ground for the future.

More to Come, but until then, Stick-to-it!

Pass the Pigs

"Oh, Wow, Look at him now...Zuckerman's Famous Pig!

Zoo-Wee, What do you see? A Famous Hog in History.

Fine, Swine, Wish he was Mine...What if he's not so big?

He's some terrific, radiant, humble, thing-a-ma-jig of a pig!"

Charlotte's Web

Ever since I was the narrator in our school play, Charlotte's Web, I have liked pigs. Now, I'm not overboard like my good friend, Kristin. She has the super-mega pig collection! However, I can't resist that cute little baby pig that Fern saved from her father's ax. 

I love games! I especially love games if they're easy to setup, easy to learn, quick to play, young-children friendly, and simple clean up. Give me those parameters and I'll love it forever! Add in a pig, and I'll like it even more.

One of our family favorites is a game called Pass the Pigs. It consists of two, small, rubber pigs that are thrown like dice. The position of the pigs upon landing determines how many points the roll is worth. For example, if one pig is standing and one pig is on it's side, that's a 5 point roll. The first player to 100 points wins. 

My three youngest children played this game last night. It was so amazing to me that my 8, 5, and 4 year old could get this out and play together with little to no help from me. Now that's the kind of game I like! Not that I'm against playing or helping, but it's good for them to be self-entertained. I see far too many children who are dependent on Mom for their source of entertainment. Sadly, no matter how much I like games, I do have other things that have to be accomplished. 

I couldn't help myself; I had to take some photos of my kids playing Pass the Pigs. After looking at the pictures, I've determined that I need a new camera. My request has been passed along to the Bushman Family Top Dog as a Christmas suggestion. Note to Self:  The three month Christmas countdown begins tomorrow, September 25th. Just a bit of anxiety!

I've decided to purchase another set to keep in our car or in my purse for those moments when an activity is sorely needed. Yet another benefit of Pass the Pigs...it's portable!

Pass the Fun along by playing Pass the Pigs. They are cute little things...if you like pigs.  Oh, Wilber!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Write-Downable of the Week

Write-Downable (n) 

"A statement that is cute, funny, priceless, sensitive, loving, one-of-a-kind, sweet, or spiritual; a word, phrase, sentence, or story that touches the heart of another and is deemed worthy to write down, thus recorded forever and not forgotten."

Word Created By: The Bushman Family

Definition By: Julie Bushman

Write-Downable of the Week:

My daughter says to her brother,"You're so weird!"

He replies, "I'm not weird. It's called the principle of individuality." (Age 13)

I LOVE this!! He did not miss a beat with his retort. Yes, I've said it before, but it thrills me when the principles learned in the classroom are seen and used outside of the classroom. That means it's really sinking in and being recorded in the "fleshy tables of his heart."

This pretty much sums up his individuality!

And this!

 The Foundation for American Christian Education (FACE) has designed a principle approach methodology for learning. The school our children attend utilize the FACE curriculum. One of the seven principles of America's Christian History, Government, and Education is:

God's Principle of Individuality

"Everything in God’s universe reveals His infinity and diversity. Each person is a unique
creation of God, designed to express the nature of Christ individually in society. Parents
and teachers should cultivate the full potential of Christ in every child."

We just wrapped up Parent Teacher Conferences this week. This child's teacher gave us a quote as we left:

"I believe that each newborn child arrives on earth with a message to deliver to mankind. Clinched in his little fist is some particle of yet unrevealed truth, some missing clue, which may solve the enigma of man's destiny. He has a limited amount of time to fulfill his mission, and he will never get a second chance - nor will we. He may be our last hope. He must be treated as top sacred.

In a cosmos in which all things appear to have meaning, what is his meaning? We who are older and presumably wiser must find the key to unlock the secret he carries within himself. The lock cannot be forced. Our mission is to exercise the kind of loving care which will prompt the child to open his fist and offer up his truth, his individuality, the irreducible atom of his self. We must provide the kind of environment in which the child will joyfully deliver his message through complete self-fulfillment."

Sam Levenson, Everything But Money, 1966

That's a heavy responsibility as a parent - to provide the loving care and environment so that our child can offer up his individuality and deliver to the world his unique message.

The question is, how do we do this? If we focus on the principle of individuality, then the answer is, "It's different for every child". The tactic, method, and approach we use as parents will have to be learned, then adjusted, then practiced, then adjusted again for each child. It's an ever-learning cycle, one that involves a lot of prayer, thought, meditation, concern, time, and energy. 

One method that we use is to discover in each child what interests bring him joy or happiness and then look for experiences so that interest may be cultivated.

Here's a simple example that happened yesterday:

Our son (11) has become very interested in finances...saving, spending, and learning about coupons, freebies, bargains, and deals. We always get coupons in the mail, and as of late, he enjoys combing through those coupons to find things of interest to him...deals that will save him money and provide enjoyment to him or our family. He reads them to me and asks questions to clarify what each deal means. It has been so enjoyable to watch!

One of these coupons was to DP Cheesesteak, DP standing for Downtown Philly. Wow, Sam could have picked up his Philly Cheesesteak sandwich just two miles from home!

Located near Costco, our son heard that we needed to make a Costco-stop yesterday, so he asked if we could go to DP Cheesesteak. Now, I'm the practical one. When I hear a request like that, I have to think in my head what's going on for the day, will it fit in the schedule, how will it work out, who will drive, who will watch the other children, etc, etc. However, Sam's the spontaneous one. Due to this spontaneity, Dad jumped at the chance to help our son utilize his frugal desires and take him to DP Cheesesteak for lunch. This cute boy was thrilled to be validated and taken seriously, AND to use his coupon for a delicious sandwich for lunch. 

Love this coupon-clipping, money-saving boy! What is his message that we must unlock?

 

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Look for little ways to cultivate the principle of individuality in your children.

So similar....

....yet so individually different!

 More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Lessons from the Disneyland Disappointment

Dental, plumbing, and cars to pay.

Disneyland, we'll catch you another day!

Plans were in motion to visit the Happiest Place on Earth over the summer. Making it a designated stop for our California Dreamin' Trip, everyone was ecstatic, especially our youngest daughter. She spent hours combing through the scrapbook of our Disneyland trip from 2006. Obviously, she wasn't born yet and was slightly confused at seeing her older sister at a similar age and wondering why it wasn't her. She spoke of Disneyland several times per day and could not wait to see the "Princesses". 

Bushman Family Disneyland Trip - May, 2006

My 3 Oldest Girls with Princess Aurora - May, 2006

Unexpected Summer Disasters came, and kept coming. We were inundated with expenses that were beyond our control...car problems, plumbing issues, garage door repairs, delightful dental work...things that had to be taken care of. How would we pay for our Disneyland trip?

Oh, the painful decisions we have to make as parents! How could we disappoint our little 3 year old who talked about going to Disneyland every day? The trip was getting closer and closer, and the children were asking for trip details and itinerary. 

We had to break it to them: we just could not swing the Disneyland portion of the trip because of the expenses a fore mentioned. It was the perfect opportunity to discuss financial wisdom, debt avoidance, sacrifice, priorities, and disappointments. Our older children understood and accepted it. Our youngest three were sad, but the attitude of our other five was a fabulous example to them and they quickly got over it.

Our youngest daughter kept talking about Disneyland. Every time she did, I distracted her by saying, "We're going to the beach. We get to play in the water and build sand castles and look for sea shells." Over time, when California was mentioned, she said, "We're going to the beach!" Hooray - she got over the Disneyland Disappointment!

Life is full of disappointments...not making the team, low test scores, trouble with friends, inferior role in the school play, not placing in the spelling bee, cancelled plans, broken relationships, and more, and more, and more.  As parents, we try to spare our children as much as possible, but sometimes it's out of our hands. How do we help them handle these disappointments?

Pray for them, hug them, encourage them, VALIDATE their disappointment, distract, try to find a replacement, listen, cry with them, optimistically look to the future, or cheer them up with something special. Be patient with them, for it just may take some time to get over the disappointment.

Back to our summer, I was excited to find discounted tickets to a local theater company's production of Sleeping Beauty Kids. What a great deal to give my youngest daughter a "Taste of Disney".

She loved the show, except for the parts with Maleficent. After the production, we got our very own princess picture!

Four Pretty Princesses with Princess Aurora!

They also got a shot with Maleficent. However, Little Miss Muffet was too scared so she missed out!

Three Brave Princesses with Maleficent!

Our very own Princess Picture for $2 per ticket. Now that's a bargain, Disneyland. 

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Dealing with disappointments is part of life. How we treat the disappointment is key to building character in our children and for parents, too.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

Thumbs up for 'Sponsible Kids!

A 4 year old's take on responsibility....14 Years Ago:

"Mommy, Baby pinched her fingers in the drawer. 

I opened the drawer when she was crying.  

 And she spilled water on the table so I got a towel and wiped it up.  

 That’s me being ‘sponsible, huh Mom?”

Write-downable from 1998

Teaching children the principle of responsibility requires searching for opportunities for responsible behavior to shine. Many times those occasions conveniently present themselves, and all that is required is to take advantage of it.

My five year old son is an active boy who wants to DO things that require action. It seems he would rather tackle a project that Mom gives him than to play with toys or watch a movie. Thus, I try to look for things that he can take ownership of and when finished, feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. It's even better when the project is something that really needs to be done, and I don't have to do it!!

Our four year old daughter is the same way. Anything that involves food, she is there, wanting to assist. So many mothers struggle with cooking with their children and would rather "do it myself". Simple tasks to hand over to an eager-to-learn child teach the principle of responsibility, as well as the needed job. The more my children know how to do, the less I have to do because the work is divided and conquered.

Some examples this month:

Quesadilla Making
I taught these two to put together a quesadilla. No, they didn't cook them. It didn't save me time (this time) for them to make them. In fact, it probably took four times longer than it would have if I had just done it. But that's not the point. I LOVE seeing my children learn new things and have confidence in their knowledge and abilities.

Watermelon Serving
Give her a bowl of cut up watermelon and some plates and let her serve-it-up! A task is accomplished, hand-eye coordination is developed, and she is so excited about doing it. Perfect combination! Last night, I asked her to put away the left over pineapple. She got a container out of the cupboard, scooped it up and put it in the refrigerator. Awesome!

Shredding
A few weeks ago, my shredding box was completely full. It needed to be emptied into a bag to hand over to the shredding company. 

NOTE: This is the best way to handle your shredding needs. Don't buy a shredder. They get clogged and overheated and broken. Office shredders cannot handle our output, so once or twice per year we call up the shredding truck (coined by my kids) and it picks up our documents that need to be disposed of. One call, one bill. 

This is a task that almost any child can do so why not have them do it?! This guy fetched the garbage bag and went to town with the job.

Involve your children. It will pay off for you and for them. The little acts of responsibility when they're young will turn into big acts of responsibility when they're older! All those years of little things have given that four year old from long ago (see the write-downable at the top) the opportunity to work his way to college. Yes, I admit, I couldn't resist stalking my son while he was working. How rewarding it is to see the fulfillment of all those years of teaching and training! He really is being 'sponsible!

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: Simple and consistent opportunities create a responsible, Stick-to-it Kid! Search them out and embrace the moments. Thumbs up for 'sponsible kids!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

2012/2013 Theme: Way to Be!

"To Be" Conjugation (Present Tense):

I am
you are
he/she/it is
we are
you are
they are

www.conjugation.com

 

I'm so excited! My copy of this book just came in the mail today...

Way to Be!

I've been thinking a lot about the verb, "to be". I feel like I haven't focused as much with my children on "Being". I'm afraid "Doing" has been the more prominent focus....do your homework, do your chores, do your jobs, do this - do that, do, do, do. I feel like I was given some inspiration a few weeks ago to focus with my family on "Being". Yes, "Doing" is important, but so is "Being". In fact, if we concentrate on "Being", the "Doing" may naturally follow. Be Obedient, Be Obedient, Be Obedient hopefully will translate into obeying Mom and Dad, doing what's asked and taking care of assigned responsibilities.

We have had this sign on our wall for years:

These are only six of the virtues talked about in the book, Way to Be! by Gordon B. Hinckley. 
He provides thoughts on "9 ways to be happy and make something of your life."

Be Grateful

Be Smart

Be Involved

Be Clean

Be True

Be Positive

Be Humble

Be Still

Be Prayerful

We discussed it as a family last week, and we are going to base our family theme for the 2012/2013 year on this book, Way to Be! Every month we will read the chapter associated with the virtue and discuss ways we can be that way as a family and individually. We will center our Family Home Evening lessons on the monthly virtue and come up with activities to compliment and further instill the principle. 

Beginning October 1st, we'll be focusing on "Be Grateful". For the rest of September, we'll introduce our theme and plan out the year together. 

We've felt very strongly that our family needs this focus and we will be blessed as we incorporate these virtues together. At the end of each month, I'll document our efforts and share them with you. Hopefully, it will give some ideas for raising Stick-to-it Kids whom are grateful, smart, involved, clean, true, positive, humble, still, and prayerful. What a "Way to Be!"

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!

No-Media Fun: Build, Wrap, Strategize, and Pretend

"You're Bored? 

Well, enjoy it while it lasts...'cause as a Mom, you'll never have the luxury!" JB (Moi)

Keeping children active and entertained, without the use of media, can be a challenge. You have to LOOK for positive activities that challenge the mind, keep the fingers moving, develop coordination, encourage role-playing and teach life skills. Here are some of our favorites this month:

Fort Making

This is one activity that I have a love/hate relationship with. Whenever my children want to make a fort, we go through "the questions". How long is the fort going to be up? Are you going to include everyone in building and playing in the fort? What happens when you're finished playing with the fort? Who is going to clean up? Am I going to have any complaining when it's time to bulldoze the fortress? Will I have to nag you to put everything away EXACTLY as it was? I've gone through the scenarios so many times that now, for the most part anyway, the fort does get cleaned up and NOT by me. However, we still have issues with, "He won't let me play in it" or "She won't help clean up" or "He says I have to stay in this part of the fort". If you want to build a fort, you need to work on proper fork etiquette which equates to "The Golden Rules of Fortress Construction". 

But even with the difficulties, Fort Making creates hours of entertainment without any cords, plugs, or digitized noise. I love seeing blankets held up by cans of pinto beans or a tub of shortening. I think it's brilliant when they whip out the duck tape to secure blankets and the stick horse to prop up a make-shift tent. As long as they agree to "The Golden Rules of Fortress Construction", I almost always say, "YES!" Break them and the fort-making fun may come to a halt for a very long time.

Some of the Latest Creations... (LOVE the Duck Tape and the signs)

Wrap-it-up
If you don't mind a mess of tape and bits of wrapping paper, then this project will brighten your day! Give your child a roll of cheap wrapping paper, scissors, and a roll of tape, and let his imagination run wild! My little people LOVE to wrap up ANYTHING and then give it to Mom, Dad, or a sibling to unwrap. They find delight in surprising someone with a string cheese, a box of crayons, a bouncy ball, a hand-drawn picture, or some marbles. Cutting, Wrapping, and Taping skills are learned and enhanced while a sense of service is created. This is another long-lasting activity that keeps 'em busy and "wraps" up time. Stock up on some wrapping paper rolls from the dollar store. Trust me, you won't be sorry. If you're worried about the scissors, pre-cut the paper for your child. Yes, you'll have a mess to clean up, but to me it's worth it!

Settlers
For older children, invest in the game, The Settlers of Catan. My boys especially LOVE playing this together; in fact, I've enjoyed a few games myself. It's a game that never gets old and has expansion sets to add more fun and excitement. It's a game of strategy and skill - not just luck. I really enjoy watching my children play games together because it creates memories, and communication, and good old fashioned fun. The Settlers of Catan is competitive yet it doesn't cause heated feelings, anger, or crying children. Best of all...it doesn't take forever to figure out, especially if you play with someone who already knows the rules, AND you can wrap it up in an hour or so. The only drawback is you need to have three to four players.

Office
Save your old keyboards, mice and phones, and provide an interactive office environment for the budding executive. Throw in some paper and pens, calculators, old forms or documents, and other miscellaneous office supplies to create another time-ticker. My children LOVE to play office with all of our old equipment. They also like getting out the cash register to add a level of retail play, AKA Store. My little girl HAS to have a book behind her keyboard which acts as the computer screen. The cool dude like wearing the cub scout uniform, even though he's still two years away. How do I bottle the enthusiasm of little children?

Today's Stick-to-it Tip: In an ever-increasing digital environment, encourage and provide no-media activities that build character, interaction, and creativity.

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!