The Tendency Trap

ten·den·cy

noun, plural: ten·den·cies.  

an inclination, bent, or predisposition to something: a tendency to talk too much.
www.dictionary.com

As a mother, I find I have the tendency to do the same things or act a certain way. No, I don't have the tendency to talk too much. That tendency is saved for my husband. :) However, I do have the tendency to stick with the same old, same old, or to think something can't be done, or to feel that an experience or opportunity isn't right for somebody. Maybe I fall into the pessimist category or it could be that I have a lazy mindset in the midst of joyful chaos. 

Whatever the excuse for the tendency, it can be broken. I CAN step out of my preconceived notions and change the outcome!

Yesterday: My son came to me asking how to do a pony tail in a girl's hair. Well, my first tendency was to say, "Why do you need to know that?" However, I stepped away from my original thoughts on the matter and asked for the victim to come forward. It was little lady and he wanted to do her hair for her. She wanted piggy tails so I showed him how to do one side, and he did the other.

Concentrating on getting it just right!

I don't know what possessed him to want to learn how to put a pony tail in a girl's hair. Whatever the reason, he wanted to know and now he does. If I had followed my "tendency", this sweet moment would not have happened and a skill would not be learned. Isn't that what we're here to do as mothers... provide learning experiences for our children?

30 minutes later: This same son asked me if he could make scrambled eggs. I was in the middle of getting some work done and I knew he would need my help, as he had never attempted the task before. My tendency was to say, "No, it doesn't work out very well right now" but the mother/teacher in me squashed that idea and said, "Sure!" I gave him the first few instructions and told him to report back when those were completed.

First Step: Prepare the Eggs

He came back and I gave him the next set of instructions.

Final Step: Cooking the Eggs

We enjoyed a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, and I didn't have to make it!!!!! I just had to step away from the tendency to discourage and give a few pointers. He benefited from learning to cook something new, I benefited from not having to cook, and the entire family benefited from a delicious breakfast. Most importantly, because I supported his desire to learn, the likelihood of him wanting to learn by doing will continue well into the future.

Stupid, negative tendencies....Go away! However, tendencies to serve, hug, love, and support can stay. You have my permission!

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!