Comfortable in Uncomfortable Situations

Rotten spinach, four days before the "use by" date, does not make me happy! In fact, it's rather annoying. I was thinking about the need to return the spinach that day when my son asked me, "Mom, do you need anything at the store?" That's code for "Mom, I want to ride my bike to the store."

:) ...YES!! I asked him to return the spinach. Now, not every twelve year old boy would be comfortable with walking up to the customer service desk with receipt in one hand and rotten spinach in the other, explaining the problem and asking for an exchange. In fact, MOST twelve year old boys would not even consider it. However, he was willing and confident, and quite proud when he returned home with fresh, edible spinach.

"That's Right!"

How do we get our children to that point, where they feel comfortable to take care of uncomfortable situations? Give them experiences! Take them with you places. Let them see you in action. Involve them in decisions and conversations. Set expectations that push them. Teach them to take care of their responsibilities. 

Examples: 

• Does your child need to find out when cub scouts is this week? Encourage him to call and find out. If you do it for him, he will not learn anything, except for when cub scouts is.

• Our oldest daughter is getting ready for college and taking some medical certification classes this summer. At first she was a bit leery of making calls and asking questions. With encouragement and sometimes standing next to her while on the phone, she is now a PRO! She has no qualms with calling the school, asking questions about classes, scheduling her certification test, calling for tech support, etc. If I did it for her, she would leave for college still unsure. We want our children to leave home as prepared as possible!
• Merit Badges - we're right in the thick of them! Have your children make the appointments with the counselors and schedule their scoutmaster conferences and board of reviews. They are capable...parents just need to let go, but still be there for support and follow-through.
• Teach them how to properly answer the phone and take messages. There is nothing more delightful than hearing a five or six year old child say, "No, he's not available. May I take a message?"
• Give them opportunities to interact with adults. Encourage them to talk and don't speak for them. If they are comfortable talking with an adult, they will feel fine in most situations.
• Encourage them to accept responsibilities of leadership, whether in church, school, scouts, sports or other activities. Positions of leadership naturally demand responsibility, delegation, communication and maturity.

"Did the lady look at you funny when you asked to return the spinach", Mom asks.

"Yes, but I don't care. She probably doesn't see that happen very often!" declares my confident spinach-exchanger.

I love it when I can pass on the dirty work to someone capable of handling it, and I can make lunch instead. Spinach Salad anyone?

More to Come...but until then, Stick-to-it!